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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: Usa
Posts: 24
5 7 hugs
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#1
This is not for me but for her. She is my love and has been a victim of abuse mentally, physically and sexually growing up in foster care and group homes. She had a grandfather that did horrible things and she couldn't say anything because of threats made from family about breaking it up.
Her father and mother both alcoholic. She was in an abusive relationship with someone for 15+ years. Left behind like a dirty secret to look after their own children. Who now abuse her the very same way. Name calling, demanding and fighting. She is beside herself so I have shown her love and kindness. My question is, what more can I do for her? She needs to be away from the place where the horrible things are memories. What else can I do? __________________ All around me I've heard, empty faces speaking empty words. |
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TheMoodyDutchman
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Skeezyks
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 18
4 14 hugs
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#2
Quote:
Be there for her. That's really worth a lot already. Don't try to fix every problem at once (you probably can't even if you try), perhaps don't try to fix any problem right now. Start with being there for her. Let her do the talking. Make sure she understands you're there for her. Be available. See if moving away together is an option. I don't know your situation and moving can be complicated or nigh impossible for all kinds of reasons. But see what's possible. Let the memories stay behind and move on. |
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Malcolmsadness
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Malcolmsadness
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
(SuperPoster!)
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#3
Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that offer advice on helping a loved one to heal from narcissistic abuse & trauma:
9 Tips for Helping a Loved One Heal from Narcissistic Abuse | The Savvy Shrink How Family and Close Friends Can Help Trauma Survivors __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Malcolmsadness
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Malcolmsadness
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
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#4
Therapy for her is a good option, and not having contact with those who are still abusing her.
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Malcolmsadness
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Malcolmsadness
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: Usa
Posts: 24
5 7 hugs
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#5
Everything I read and what you are telling me about this says to nuture and provide support and love. I am doing all this but the way it has hurt her and the things that happened, I just wondered if I could do more to help that I haven't thought about.
Thanks a lot. __________________ All around me I've heard, empty faces speaking empty words. |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 18
4 14 hugs
given |
#6
I think we understand that feeling. But the only way to start fixing this is to get her out of the situation. That's difficult. Until then, being there for her is about as good as it gets.
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