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MrsA
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Default Feb 12, 2020 at 06:02 AM
  #1
So things have imorived a bit overall. I agreed to take on more work if my sister promised to stop thentozic behavior and constant yelling and swearing. But I got woken up once by her yelling and licking things over innthe next room. The day after that she started saying "f****** s***'" angrily over and over again in the kitchen and I walked away and muttered "F****** narcissist." and that seemed to have put a stopper in it for now.

My sister called me a narcissist a lot but when I identify her behavior as narcissistic she tends to stop doing it becauase I think she must know she is the real narcissist which is why she accuses everyone else of being a narcissist.

So that's where things are. I'm I going to call her out on narcissist behavior and temper tantrums. All these years I refused to acknowledge her during swearing tanrums and she he claims that she has been forced to hold her tongue around me my whole. Then agaon she seem to completely lack self awareness. So I have to work with what I'm stuck with.
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Default Feb 12, 2020 at 06:23 AM
  #2
Do you live with her? I've never known anyone to change their usual behavior/personality by just 'promising' or 'deciding' to do so. It sounds like the two of you have a long, established pattern of interactions. It doesn't mean the person isn't sincere when they make a promise. Name calling will generally increase negativity.

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Default Feb 13, 2020 at 07:06 AM
  #3
Thanks for your opinion. I do agree there are ingrained patterns. My parents raised my sister to believe she could get away with anything so she feels abused when I set boundaries. I'm stuck because of financial problems, but I've managed to improve things a bit in recent months.

The thing is that I'm not a person who is easily bullied by other people. I just got accustomed to my sister's bullying because it was always the way things were since we were kids. And we were orphaned together so she was my only family for a long time. The toxic tantrums got worse when I stopped putting up with direct physical and verbal attacks. My sister seriously feels abused because she can't attack me directly so she considers it "holding her tongue" to scream around me instead of at me. But her victim attitude tells me she feels that I'm in control.

I know it's not nice to call someone a narcissist, but it does work to shut her up and make her self conscious about her tantrums. My sister can control herself in social settings so I expect her to also pretend to be a good person at home. Things have gotten better since I started calling her out on her behavior. My family are not decent or honerable people so I can't be nice all the time. And I told her she could go to jail for shoving me, and she said I was lying but I think it scares her so that should make her back off more and mind her manners. I'm just really disgusted the more I see my sister's character clearly. I can't believe I looked up to her when I was younger.
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