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TrailRunner14
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Default Feb 17, 2020 at 12:56 AM
  #1
I’m just curious if anyone else has wished and hoped for the rainbow and sunshine idea of life. That’s what I refer to as Beaver Cleaver ideas of life.

I’ve wanted and manipulated so much of my life to get to that perfect place.

I know in reality it doesn’t exist. That’s my real adult self talking.

There is a part of me, right now, that is standing behind a fence and wishing she had the opportunity to actually experience the part of it that could be real.

She wants, so badly, to know the freedom of true safety and realness.

It terrifies her to imagine herself on the other side of the fence where the light is.

She wants to know if she’s the only one who has felt this way.

Is she so broken that she can’t imagine a real place in the other side, in the light?

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Travelinglady
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Default Feb 20, 2020 at 02:57 PM
  #2
I think all of us who were abused long for a better place. But I think one issue might be: Do we think we deserve it?

Maybe we can start being nicer to ourselves, being a loving parent to ourselves...I know that has helped me---plus therapy. Our lives will never be some idealistic place with no problems, but they can certainly be much better.
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Default Feb 20, 2020 at 09:49 PM
  #3
I’ve gotten so close to being June Cleaver. I’ve even cleaned the house wearing heels and pearls! Lol. It’s been a tease. So close and yet so far.

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