Should I tell my therapist ?

I’ve recently been given a therapist as a consequence of attempting suicide. I trust her, and I want to get a diagnosis as quickly as possible although I’m not sure whether this should be mentioned or not.

Around 2 years ago, when and before I started secondary school, my older brother continuously threatened to rape me and touched me inappropriately for around a year. I believed that he would follow through on the threats and told my teachers. They called my parents in but no action was taken towards my brother since he was just joking or playing around.

After that he did stop the threats and touching but he always makes inappropriate noises and is really aggressive towards me and my parents. I think I genuinely forgot about it for some time.

The reason I am thinking of mentioning this to my therapist is because of something that happened last Tuesday. I have always been very uncomfortable when people talk about sexual abuse and my friend had started giving me a detailed description of her friend getting abused. I completely panicked and started shaking and crying, and I wasn’t completely calm and alright until over an hour after I started freaking out. It brought back a bunch of stress and memories and I couldn’t take it. My friend was going on about how my parents and my brother are horrible people for doing this to me.

Right now I still can’t think about it properly because it feels like my whole world is very shaken. It adds to my suicidal thoughts and I’m crying and panicking more than usual.

I don’t know if this is the source of my stress and constant anxiety. I don’t see my therapist until Friday and any advice would be appreciated.

Hi Luia, welcome to Psych Central.

My answer to your question is YES! This is important to share with your therapist. If you find it too hard to say to her, then copy this nice post you made here and just hand it to her to read. You did very well in describing what is bothering you. And what you share happens to be very important and will be VERY helpful in showing the therapist how you need help.

It's really not about what is wrong with you, instead it's more about what has affected you that you need help with from someone who understands how to help with certain challenges. Actually, therapists hear things like what you have shared here more than you know. What you have shared has happened to others and they too have needed help so you are not alone.

Please let us know how you make out. ok?

(((Caring Supportive Hugs)))

Than you for your kind words! I will try and tell my therapist when i next see her and I’ll post an update too

:]

Good, because what you have shared is called sibling abuse and it can have some deep affects on someone that deserves to be understood and helped properly so you can develop better ways of standing up for and defending yourself. It's not something that should be dissmissed as "that's just kid stuff".

I experienced sibling abuse myself when I was a child and years later by the same sibling as an older adult. Sibling abuse is not just "kid stuff".

:welcome to PC.

I'm sorry that happen to you. I would tell your therapist this information. I would contact a rape crisis and see if they can help you.

Hi Luia,

Sharing what you are unsure about with your therapist is a good idea, in general. There isn't much you 'shouldn't' say, because the more you tell them the better they'll know how to help.

But, it does strike me as disrespectful that your friend would go into detail about someone else's abuse. Hopefully, especially after seeing how this affected you, she'll be more conscientious about that in the future.

I hope your session goes well, and that you come to some insights and a way forward. Even when the emotional effects of trauma take you by surprise and leave you shaken, at least then you know it is there, and can begin to address it.

Thank you for your advice, the session did go well I guess, but I’ll post a longer update soon

Thank you to everyone that replied to my post, it kinda made me realise that what happened to me was pretty messed up.

I did talk to my therapist about this and some other things that happened to me in the past and i believe my brothers behaviour still affects me. He is still very aggressive and threatening around me and my parents and based on that my therapist has organised a social services visit to asses things.

Thank you for helping me !

Luia, home is where we should feel safe. Our loved ones should make us feel protected. Your brother was your abuser and your parents and teachers failed in protecting you. No brother/family "jokes" about rape. This constant "looking out" for danger and having no place where you feel safe eventually takes a toll on your body. We are programmed in our primitive brain to look out for us - to run away from danger to a safe place. Ignoring it, is what is believed to cause c-ptsd.


You should talk to your therapist about it, no doubt and it may actually be the first major step towards recovery. I also recommend reading "The Body keeps score" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. It would immensely help you understand yourself and why you do certain things better.

Good luck.