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emmaleemochizuki
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Default May 20, 2020 at 07:11 AM
  #1
I spoke with a worker from my local SARC.

I never admitted what happened was rape until the worker said it was.

I feel like I was fooling myself that nothing really happened as long I don't admit it to myself and that I can move on.

I suppose it just doesn't work like that.

I still feel deeply disgusted about myself. I feel like I betrayed my partner, and also I would never consent to have sex with a man, I am lesbian, and it makes me hate myself so much.
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MissUdy
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Default May 20, 2020 at 04:26 PM
  #2
I can understand that feeling, I’ve been thinking about it today. I feel disgusting because of things that have happened, even though I know i didn’t ask for them to happen and I couldn’t have stopped it. Rape and sex are very different things, so you did not betray your partner as you did not consent, which makes it rape not sex. I think it’s important to acknowledge what happened, maybe then we can heal from it and move on somehow, like you said. I’m so sorry this happened to you, I hope you are safe now.
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88Butterfly88
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Default May 21, 2020 at 08:57 PM
  #3
You aren't disgusting. It wasn't your fault.
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Abusedbysister
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Default May 22, 2020 at 09:47 AM
  #4

You should not be disgusted at yourself. It was not your fault. That person did something disgusting.
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nicoleflynn
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Default May 22, 2020 at 04:58 PM
  #5
Try to put the blame and shame where it belongs.....on the criminal......don't take on things that don't belong to you.I have found that writing a letter to the abuser/rapist...a letter of restorative justice.....that says, this is what you did, this is how it made me feel.
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