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emmaleemochizuki
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Default May 27, 2020 at 10:21 AM
  #1
I was 8 when the abuse first started.

But I was 12 when I actually knew what was happening to me.
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Lostislost
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Default May 27, 2020 at 01:53 PM
  #2
I knew it was wrong on some level always, but I squashed everything down, and as I was growing up abuse became 'normal' to me. It's only been the last few years I've admitted it to myself and it's still unfolding.
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Default May 27, 2020 at 06:29 PM
  #3
What is "knowing"?
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Default May 29, 2020 at 12:36 PM
  #4
I was 3-4 when it happened and at the time I thought it was normal. I repressed it for several years and then when I was a teenager it came back to the surface and I realized I had been abused.
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 02:00 PM
  #5
42, almost 43. It was going on from the age of 3, or earlier, until the age of 10, approximately. Dissociative amnesia covers most of it, except some parts that I always knew were abuse and terror, but could not put the face on the abuser, and generally tried to push it out of my mind. The first time I remembered clearly it was abuse I was around 14, but literally fell ill from the knowledge, and pushed everything to the back of my mind again. It took me another 29 years to finally remember and to start believing my memories. I am 44 now. Last year and a half were pure hell.
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Default Jun 03, 2020 at 10:28 AM
  #6
It happened when I was 10. I was 17 when I started to remember. I was 25 when I began my journey of healing. I read Victims No Longer by Mike Lew. I opened up to one of my close female friends and she responded with kindness and understanding, more than I could have hoped for, she saved my life. I am still on the journey of healing and I'm new here because I need more help on this journey.
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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 08:20 PM
  #7
I'll get back to you on this one

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Default Jun 07, 2020 at 05:12 PM
  #8
My abuse/torture occurred when I was ages 44-46. It has taken ten years or so to get to the point where I can even start to honestly deal with it. Way too scared. Beyond terriffied. Being constantly gaslit, invalidated, and all the other stuff abusers employ to deny and shift reality and facts has made it a long and difficult journey. Very proud of myself that I am no longer living in total denial of what was done to me.

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miscmarch
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Default Jun 08, 2020 at 10:32 PM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
My abuse/torture occurred when I was ages 44-46. It has taken ten years or so to get to the point where I can even start to honestly deal with it. Way too scared. Beyond terriffied. Being constantly gaslit, invalidated, and all the other stuff abusers employ to deny and shift reality and facts has made it a long and difficult journey. Very proud of myself that I am no longer living in total denial of what was done to me.
Good for you! You should be proud of yourself.
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