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Rive1976
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Trig Jun 24, 2020 at 12:39 PM
  #1
I marked this as trigger just in case but I won't go into details. I have had some memories. They may be related to a clip of a movie I saw. In my memory the vision flashback wasn't exactly like the movie. It was similar though. I kind of jumped and screamed stop and I took a big inhale with being startled by the memory and was had a hard time getting my breathing back to normal. So I quickly did some grounding. My question is even if the visual memories can't be trusted (I believe that visual memories are never accurate, at least thats how I feel about me) I was wondering if body memories are always accurate? Can you have body responses just because the flash you saw might be disturbing but its not a true body memory or do body memories never lie?
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Default Jun 26, 2020 at 10:03 AM
  #2
Im not a psychologist, but I think that you are reacting to something that really happened to you. I would guess that a normal reaction from an untraumatized person would be to wince and look away from a graphic scene in a movie. It sounds like what you are describing is a dissociation from the graphic scene.

If it bothers you, which it seems like it does, otherwise you wouldn't be talking about it, you should look at getting some relief from these flashbacks.

Sorry you are experiencing this. It sucks having your day interrupted by unpleasant experiences all the time. Hope you find relief!
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Default Jun 28, 2020 at 10:40 AM
  #3
I can relate to your flashbacks. A scene in a movie, a story someone tells you or something you see on the street brings back flashbacks. It totally interrupts my day and sometimes prevents me from functioning for the rest of the day. (Depending on what I see). The flashbacks are related to something that happened to me in the past. In my case, it brings back actual memories and makes me remember the pain and humiliation.
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Default Jun 28, 2020 at 10:59 AM
  #4
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Can you have body responses just because the flash you saw might be disturbing but its not a true body memory or do body memories never lie?
It definitely sounds like a disassociation response. Yes, your body can still respond to traumas after-the-fact. Have you had therapy for your trauma?

Exposure therapy is sort of what you are accidentally doing, by watching movies that will trigger your past trauma. That can work to your benefit, as long as you are aware of it happening.

If your exposure and disassociation is accidental and spontaneous, then yeah, I think a therapist could help you develop coping skills to use as a response to these moments of disassociation.
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Confused Jun 28, 2020 at 01:42 PM
  #5
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It definitely sounds like a disassociation response. Yes, your body can still respond to traumas after-the-fact. Have you had therapy for your trauma?

Exposure therapy is sort of what you are accidentally doing, by watching movies that will trigger your past trauma. That can work to your benefit, as long as you are aware of it happening.

If your exposure and disassociation is accidental and spontaneous, then yeah, I think a therapist could help you develop coping skills to use as a response to these moments of disassociation.

I see a therapist. She tells me she can help with EMDR then in the next breath not to focus on the past.
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Default Jun 28, 2020 at 10:04 PM
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No, don't rely on EMDR to help you. There's been actual research that shows that EMDR can be more harmful than helpful to people who are trying to heal from past traumas.

Is your therapist board certified? She does not sound like a good therapist at all. Of course you have to focus on the past if you want to get rid of the past trauma.

Don't dwell on the past. But if your trauma is still giving you physical triggers, you haven't fully healed from it. Only thorough cognitive behavioral or dialectical behavioral therapy or PTSD focused therapy will help. But EMDR? Stay away from that.
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Default Jun 29, 2020 at 06:55 AM
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No, don't rely on EMDR to help you. There's been actual research that shows that EMDR can be more harmful than helpful to people who are trying to heal from past traumas.

Is your therapist board certified? She does not sound like a good therapist at all. Of course you have to focus on the past if you want to get rid of the past trauma.

Don't dwell on the past. But if your trauma is still giving you physical triggers, you haven't fully healed from it. Only thorough cognitive behavioral or dialectical behavioral therapy or PTSD focused therapy will help. But EMDR? Stay away from that.
I have been doing EMDR for a while now and it works great. My symptoms have gone down dramatically! I agree it is extremely intense and you must have a good therapist who can teach you how to calm yourself down before you start. Some sessions I spend the last 10 minutes calming down, then it takes several days for me to fully recover, but afterwards I get permanent relief. Yes, be very careful, and know that it is not for the faint of heart.
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Default Jun 29, 2020 at 08:13 AM
  #8
She's board certified. Its just weird because my whole life I've had anxiety around some topics. With some past EMDR I have fully recovered and my anxiety is gone around those topics. While that's a good thing it kind of feels like I have been robbed of my emotions. Does that sound weird?
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Default Jun 29, 2020 at 12:36 PM
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It doesn't sound weird. If EMDR is an effective treatment for you.
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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 07:00 AM
  #10
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She's board certified. Its just weird because my whole life I've had anxiety around some topics. With some past EMDR I have fully recovered and my anxiety is gone around those topics. While that's a good thing it kind of feels like I have been robbed of my emotions. Does that sound weird?
I had a similar experience, maybe you can relate. After starting some good therapy, I began to have moments of calm that I never experienced. It made me depressed at first because I had never had felt lasting calm in my life. I looked back at my life and started to cry because I had spent my whole life feeling anxious and I thought, "what a waste". I was grieving over how sad it was to go my whole life and never being able to be calm. It felt like a waste, and I had to let go and accept that terrible things had been done to me and that's why I lived in anxiety my whole life. Afterwards I struggled for a while just sitting with my wife listening to quiet music and painting for relaxation.

Also after divorcing my abusive wife and getting re-married, my new wife would give me compliments I had never heard and I would break into tears because no one had ever told me such nice things. I wasn't used to feeling good either.

It took me a while to get used to these things that some people have had their whole lives.

Maybe you are experiencing something similar, where you feel robbed of your emotions but in reality, we shouldn't have to feel anxious about the past. It's hard to hear, but it's actually healthy not to feel anxious all the time. It's a good thing to just feel calm.
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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 07:56 AM
  #11
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I had a similar experience, maybe you can relate. After starting some good therapy, I began to have moments of calm that I never experienced. It made me depressed at first because I had never had felt lasting calm in my life. I looked back at my life and started to cry because I had spent my whole life feeling anxious and I thought, "what a waste". I was grieving over how sad it was to go my whole life and never being able to be calm. It felt like a waste, and I had to let go and accept that terrible things had been done to me and that's why I lived in anxiety my whole life. Afterwards I struggled for a while just sitting with my wife listening to quiet music and painting for relaxation.

Also after divorcing my abusive wife and getting re-married, my new wife would give me compliments I had never heard and I would break into tears because no one had ever told me such nice things. I wasn't used to feeling good either.

It took me a while to get used to these things that some people have had their whole lives.

Maybe you are experiencing something similar, where you feel robbed of your emotions but in reality, we shouldn't have to feel anxious about the past. It's hard to hear, but it's actually healthy not to feel anxious all the time. It's a good thing to just feel calm.
Yes! Thats exactly how I feel!
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Default Jul 01, 2020 at 03:48 PM
  #12
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Yes! Thats exactly how I feel!
Ok, maybe just give it some time to sink in. Allow yourself to use the time you spent worrying to just relax or begin to explore taking care of yourself. If you start to feel weird, try to remind yourself that it takes time to adjust. I think alot of people can't handle feeling good for the first time and self-sabatoge to get back to the familiar feeling of depression or anxiety.

I did something important and helpful today at work and people recognized it. I felt so uncomfortable I wanted to run and hide. I had to just sit in the fact that I did a good job. Now I am trying to just move slowly so I don't screw anything up. I deserve to take it easy for the rest of the work day. It's ok. I am a good person.

You are strong for working on being a better person, Rive1976! Good job!!
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