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emmaleemochizuki
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Member Since: Apr 2020
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Default Jul 19, 2020 at 02:18 PM
  #1
I was sexually abused from the age of 8 to about 15.

When I was about 15-17, I went through two years where my social life was an absolute mess. I had unprotected sex with both boys and girls, and also several vague relationships. You could say that I was somewhat promiscuous, I was kind of well known in my group friends that I 'slept around' (I studied in a girl school, but we mixed with boys from nearby schools, we all knew each other). I just didn't care, and I was numb, I didn't feel anything, I constantly put myself at risk, and I set myself up to be taken advantaged of. It was like an escape, or like a way of self harming, a way of verifying my thinking that I was slut, and I was worthless.

That lasted two years. And I went to the other extreme. I completely shut down and I haven't been in any close relationship with anyone. I had a hard time with friends, lets just say the friends I had weren't really friends, they didn't care about me at all, they just secretly talked about me from my back, and judged me. But I have since actually made friends with people that genuinely care, they weren't the one I used to hang out with when I was still in high school, but you get the drama, things change as you get older.

I can't even stand being physically or emotionally close with anyone without it being somewhat triggering. It's a contrast to when I was younger, but did anyone experienced similar?
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SorryShaped
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Default Jul 20, 2020 at 04:23 PM
  #2
I was abused at age seven for two years. I've been more hypersexual every since. But, I think I was before the abuse as well.
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MissUdy
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Default Jul 24, 2020 at 03:07 PM
  #3
Yes, I always had this behaviour, but it was extreme since I was aged 14 to 31. I’m 33 now.I never felt an emotional connection to anyone I was doing things with really, In fact I think I searched for people that didn’t like me much at all. Now, I would love to have a deep connection with someone and have sex a lot. Best of both worlds?!
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CaptainChaos
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Default Aug 03, 2020 at 10:43 PM
  #4
Yes this is very common. Its the victims way of taking control of their body. By being hypersexual at least you were the one choosing who you were sleeping with. But then eventually you realized that didn't make it any easier so you tried the other extreme. I have been abused sexually as well. I pushed the memories away and forgot about them for over a decade until my mind could no longer tolerate it and I began having seizures. The only treatment was to start talking and remembering, Now I am able to enjoy my body like God meant for me to. I can say no without guilt and say yes without shame, getting there isn't easy but it is worth it. You are worth it
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