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ACrystalGem
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Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: United Kingdom
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Default Aug 17, 2020 at 10:58 AM
  #1
I’ve got a problem that I’d appreciate some advice with.
I ran away from my violent & abusive family in North London 27 years ago. I have lived in East London for all that time, but have been trying to relocate for years. I’ve just been referred to an Eating Disorders hospital, after trying for decades to get some help. The problem is, the hospital is just down the road from where I ran away from. I’ve managed to stay away from that place, and just the thought of going back makes me feel awful. I’m long-term disabled and unemployed, so I can’t afford to see an ED person privately. The few friends I have are all far away & have their own disabilities to deal with. My old family & church community are like a beehive (or the Borg). If one person knows something gossip-worthy, everyone knows. I just feel like I’m being punished for surviving, and put in a horrible situation.

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Borderline Personality Disorder, C-PTSD, DID, Depression, Anxiety
I have a FREE short story about Sci Fi and Mental Health - Billie Prime, available at https://writteninshadows.wordpress.c.../billie-prime/
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Default Aug 18, 2020 at 02:34 AM
  #2
I can understand why you feel so anxious about this.
You have the right to get the help you need. You have the right to go there. For sure.
You can go as incognito a you possibly can. Wear a face mask! Wear a hat. Wear sunglasses. After all this time people are not likely to recognise you easily, and much less so with a currently-socially-acceptable face covering on!
I understand that your fears about this likely go even deeper than being recognised. But you have the right to go there. Remind yourself constantly you have adult parts to help you now too. Those people cannot hurt you now. You are no longer a helpless child, even if you still have child parts within you. You have adults to help keep those children safe, and as a living breathing human being you have rights, one of them bring the right to healthcare. And you absolutely all do deserve the treatment and to get the help you need to keep the body healthy and safe.
Its time to get help. Don't let the fear of those ******** stop you from looking after you.
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ACrystalGem
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Member Since: Dec 2015
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Default Aug 25, 2020 at 03:26 AM
  #3
Thank you so much for your words. I appreciate it more than you know.

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Borderline Personality Disorder, C-PTSD, DID, Depression, Anxiety
I have a FREE short story about Sci Fi and Mental Health - Billie Prime, available at https://writteninshadows.wordpress.c.../billie-prime/
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