Learning to Love

I'm wondering if any of my fellow Survivors here have moved on into healthy relationships, found love and are doing well.

I've met this guy. And I'm so up and down with him. I've been broken and damaged by past abuse. While I've gone through therapy, forgiven my parents, ex-bf, and a lot of other people. I still have trust issues. I still get paranoid and insecure. I fear abandonment, I fear getting hurt. I'm constantly over analyzing everything trying to see if there's something hidden in what's going on and come to the conclusion there's not. He's legit.

I just have a really hard to opening myself up to love. I've been single for 6 years. Been telling myself I don't need anyone, I need to work on me (and did). My psych doctor brought up that he's never heard of me even dating or having a love interest and found it really surprising. Because I'm attractive, intelligent, hard working, a good person and most of my mental health issues, the severe stuff, is behind me. I was like "You mean I'm healthy enough to be in a relationship?" And he said "Yes."

I'm trying. I really am. I'm trying my best not to be insecure. It's hard. Any advice?

Not sure and I’m in a similar situation of being single 6 + years and hesitant to trust potential dates. Possible options are asking friends to recommend someone to date, go on a double date, join a club or start a new hobby you always wanted to try. It’s not easy to attempt a relationship, but a good person is worth it.

I don't think I will ever experience what healthy love is.

I feel it’s like a leap of faith? You have to learn to let go a bit, because risk is an inherent part of relationships, as my sister in law pointed out to me when I was with my last boyfriend (from which I learned I was not emotionally healthy enough to date, nowhere even close! I’m happy being single, but I’d still like to have therapy anyway because I’ve realised so many things from my past are holding me back. If I ever met someone I felt I could be with down the line, I’d then also be more prepared to take the chance, as well).

I am in a healthy relationship. He is the opposite of my Parental Units, he is kind, loving, loyal, honest.... I think you would usually know if he is hiding anything having been through abuse. It's definitely worth taking the leap of faith!

Yes and it is possible!

100%! it does take a leap!