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NightmarishBunny
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Confused Aug 31, 2020 at 01:40 PM
  #1
Since I was 15-16, my grandfather has been making sexual advancements towards me. He propositioned oral sex with me before (though my grandmother came home then and it didnt get far)

Now 8 years later he's starting up again. He started walking around without clothes, started flashing me on purpose and even offered to buy me a $200 phone in exchange for oral sex. (He wrote it down on paper and handed me his "offer" saying it was a fantasy of his to do this with me)

I told my grandmother who confronted him and he denied, yelled at me saying i was a manipulator and liar, asked for proof and said I was destroying the family.

I have no clue where to turn and my grandma is equally as lost because at this point its my word against his and because he threw the evidence away i have nothing to back my side up. My grandma believes me as much as she can since shes caught him nude before but she doesnt want to believe hes like this.

So as the title states, is this abuse? And if so what should i do?

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RoxanneToto
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Default Aug 31, 2020 at 02:31 PM
  #2
This is certainly sexual harassment, at the very least. I’d love to help, but I have no real experience dealing with this kind of situation. The only thing I can think of is to log details of each incident, if anything more happens.
The only stuff I could find was on articles about sexual harassment at work, but I’ve copied/pasted a bit that might be useful. If it keeps happening I think you should let the police know, though.

Record;
The date, time and location of the harassment, what happened, what was said and who witnessed the behavior.
Keep copies or take screenshots of any relevant emails, texts, photos or social posts.
Tell a trusted friend or family member what happened and write down the details of those conversations. Not only can they provide support, but they may also be able to provide corroborating statements should you need them.
Keep in mind: Secretly recording harassment can provide valuable evidence, but check your state’s laws before you do so. In some states it is illegal to record a conversation without both parties’ consent. Some company policies also prohibit recording.

I wish you luck, your grandfather is being gross
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Default Aug 31, 2020 at 08:44 PM
  #3
I see it as a kind of sexual abuse. How old are you? Can you get away? If you are still in school, I think you should ask a counselor for advice. Let us know how things go--and do not give in to him. Have you told him the answer will always be "no"? Maybe you can tape him or even get a video of him in action.

I can understand how your grandmother doesn't want to believe it all. It could be that he's getting senile and losing all his inhibitions. Could you fight him off if it came to that? If possible, try not to be alone with him. Okay?
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Default Aug 31, 2020 at 10:01 PM
  #4
Im 24 and have a friend in another state who offered me a room while i work on getting a life out there. I told him no a few times and he ended up getting pouty and sulky and sometimes angry.

I havent thought of recording him since i never know what he'll react as.

And now that i finally told his wife hes been angry and treating me horribly and as though *he's the victim*.

I try often to avoid him, however that proves difficult due to the door to my room not having a lock and anyone capable of coming in.

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Default Aug 31, 2020 at 10:32 PM
  #5
99% of the time if you have to ask is this abuse it is and that sounds to me like abuse. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Depending on what you make you could check into low cost housing through your state and see if you qualify. Maybe then you can work toward getting away.

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Default Sep 01, 2020 at 07:35 AM
  #6
Yes, this is abuse. Call the police and ask what the best thing to do is....call a social worker. Do you live with him? If not, don't go around him.
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Default Sep 01, 2020 at 06:28 PM
  #7
Your grandfather is a disgusting creep. Don’t be alone with him.
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Default Sep 04, 2020 at 09:58 AM
  #8
Yes, it is abuse. If you don’t live with him, stay away. If you live with him, I highly recommend finding a relative or friend and try to live with them for a while. I am really sorry for your ordeal.
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Seqoya
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Default Oct 14, 2020 at 06:36 AM
  #9
Yes this is sexual abuse especially since it started when you were 15 or 16. I agree that you need to call the police.
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Default Oct 14, 2020 at 07:02 AM
  #10
Yes, this is abuse. Get a lock for your door.
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