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Member Since Mar 2010
Location: Searching for compassion
Posts: 392
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#1
Thankfully, I've gotten through many difficult years of life. I'd say 'the cloud' of abuse started when I was 5 and continued on for about 20 years.
Looking back, I feel a lot of grateful feelings, grateful that when I felt like giving up and feeling alone, I didn't sink into that feeling, somehow. That my experience taught me the value of being an independent thinker in the face of constant cognitive dissonance etc... In many ways it has served me in strength but sometimes I have moments now, where although I am free of such abuse, and liberated from constant mind trash that I still find myself either feeling guilty, sorry for myself, or just sad? I wonder how much I missed, or feel annoyed that my greatest accomplishment is surviving something that in many ways seemed unnecessary? Sometimes it makes me feel 'behind' that given how determined and optimistic I can be, how that could have been used for general life purposes instead of dispensing my resources for abusive situations... and perhaps I wouldn't feel somewhat emotionally tired now... Anyway. For now what keeps me sane is my sense that it wasn't for 'nothing' and trying to use this constructively. Do you ever feel this way? How do you deal with Post abuse symptoms? __________________ |
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Buffy01, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, ShaneG, TerryNoone, Tribica
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Buffy01, ShaneG, TerryNoone, Tribica, Yaowen
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Unknown
Posts: 707
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#2
I wonder how much I missed, or feel annoyed that my greatest accomplishment is surviving something that in many ways seemed unnecessary? Sometimes it makes me feel 'behind' that given how determined and optimistic I can be, how that could have been used for general life purposes instead of dispensing my resources for abusive situations... and perhaps I wouldn't feel somewhat emotionally tired now... Anyway.
Hi, don't worry you're not alone here, I also feel the same after learning that being subject to electronic harassment and gang stalking is now a brain disorder, it also seams pointless as well, always remember we are TI's, and our time will one day come. Every dog has it's day! |
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shoez, TerryNoone, Tribica
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shoez, TerryNoone, Tribica, ~*glass_owl*~
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Member
Member Since Mar 2010
Location: Searching for compassion
Posts: 392
14 167 hugs
given |
#3
Thanks so much Shane!
Sometimes abuse has its doom and gloom but you know what? I had a good night sleep last night and started trying to plan out what I want to do now that I'm on the "other side"... Ah, and I honestly woke up feeling good today, I don't have a big ol' plan yet but just emotionally I guess today is this dog's day? Anyway, thanks for the support and hangin around virtually with me while I go on the hilly road to post abuse recovery. __________________ |
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TerryNoone
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TerryNoone
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Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Unknown
Posts: 707
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#4
Quote:
Good luck |
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Buffy01, TerryNoone
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Buffy01, TerryNoone
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Member
Member Since Oct 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 32
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#5
It is hard for me to keep moving on, to be honest. I live with a lot of suicidal tendencies. Something will remind me of certain events, and I feel a strong sense of fear. I generally lock my bedroom door, and watch the doors franticly, like someone will try and get to me. One coping skill I learned is the grounding technique. I find random items, hold them, and say what I am holding. It keeps my mind from going crazy and dissociating.
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Fuzzybear, Innerzone, shoez
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Unknown
Posts: 707
3 371 hugs
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#6
Within my situation, I have to try to co-exist with the harpy witches, and their instance I'd be broadcasted against my will and consent, even to my full knowledge.
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Buffy01, shoez, TerryNoone, Tribica
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Buffy01, TerryNoone
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,326
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#7
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mote.of.soul
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mote.of.soul
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,526
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#8
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