Trigger warning: Regrets of how you responded?

Hi,

Do you have regrets on how you responded to any abuse? Wish I had done this or done that?

(Trigger) I have been abuse various times over my life. And in my twenties I had two instances of sexual assault. The last time this was years ago now. I had met this guy from a dating site and he had come over to my house and my mom had met him. He and I had talked through texting various times before meeting, and I had made it clear, I was just wanting to be his friend, for now. Well, he and I ended up trying to watching a movie. Well he didn’t come over to want to watch just a movie. The guy didn’t stop when I told him no and stop, I kept pushing him away. Anyway, this was the only time we had met and the last time we saw each other. I had walked him upstairs after the movie, and as he was leaving out the door, I gave him a hug. I have no idea why I did that, this was a stranger to me. Why would I give someone like that a hug?

I wish I had said something or called and reported him because I could have saved someone else from getting hurt.

I don't know the answer, but a guess might be that you wanted to keep yourself safe from him doing anything else to you?

I think after events like this we don’t always behave how we would expect. I’m also wondering if it’s partly down to how you might have been socialised, as a woman? We’re often socialised not to hurt others, even if they’re hurting us. I’m just speculating a little, though.
I went to a public library a couple of years ago, for a self defence class. Some dude sneaked up on me from behind a bookshelf and took a photo as I happened to look up from my book. I felt like my privacy had been invaded and really feel, when I look back, I should have reported him to staff as it was a creepy thing to do, and he kept leering at me the whole time I was in the class. But I said nothing (aside from texting a friend and sister in law about it) as I wasn’t sure whether the staff would do anything about it, and what if they’d been able to look at his phone and not found the picture? I don’t think about it as much now but it still bothers me. I get I’ve probably had my photo taken without my knowledge anyway, but it’s a different story when people literally single you out and make it obvious that’s what they’re doing.