[Colour of Madness]

Hey...
So this is really weird for me to be allowed to go on here and write, apparently they think I need an outlet and this might be 'safe' or something.
My name is Bel, I'm 14 and a half, they call me an 'alter' and that term is confusing and weird, I just know how i feel and stuff but they don't let me do much. I think they are scared of me, I'm not scary I just don't know what to make of everything. I wanted to help before but I don't think any of them like me. I hope nobody here (on this forum) minds me writing this down...
Yeah, anyway I don't really know what to say, so if anyone wants to talk to me I will try not to forget the password to get onto here (its a pain in the neck cause its their email account , I don't have one and I have to find out usernames and stuff.)

okay... bye now
Bel

[Chez3]

Well it's a pleasure too meet you Bel. Don't worry, no one will mind you writing things down, I personally encourage it. Just know that you are welcome here to speak your mind.

hey bel,

I hope the others will let you post here more

this is a great forum to post to get support and to make friends

[WayOffTrack]

Hi, Bel. I'm new here too. So far everyone has made me feel like one of the gang. I think it's truly a place where you can express yourself, ask for advice, share your problems and even have a little fun, without worry of being judged. Hope you stick around and make friends. Welcome, it's good to have you with us.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Colour of Madness

Hey...
So this is really weird for me to be allowed to go on here and write, apparently they think I need an outlet and this might be 'safe' or something.
My name is Bel, I'm 14 and a half, they call me an 'alter' and that term is confusing and weird, I just know how i feel and stuff but they don't let me do much. I think they are scared of me, I'm not scary I just don't know what to make of everything. I wanted to help before but I don't think any of them like me. I hope nobody here (on this forum) minds me writing this down...
Yeah, anyway I don't really know what to say, so if anyone wants to talk to me I will try not to forget the password to get onto here (its a pain in the neck cause its their email account , I don't have one and I have to find out usernames and stuff.)

okay... bye now
Bel

hi Bel welcome...

i know how hard it is sometimes when you are trying to figure out a new website.

heres a tip for this section....

dont take it personally if no one posts here for a long time. dissociation is one of those things that there is no promise when its going to happen...

example before i was integrated I did have some teen alters but they would not have been able to post here.

A bit about me I became DID before I was 5 because I was abused in the worst ways possible. this caused me to dissociate, my dissociating created those that used to live in my body, some people call them alters, my alters did not call their self alters, they didnt even know they were alternates for me. they thought they were just who ever and how ever they were.

long story short in order for one of my alters to post on here, something on psych central would have had to trigger me into dissociating, so that the teen alters could be reading and typing here. Psych central doesnt usually trigger me because this website has an ignore list. you can put those on your ignore list when you start reading something triggering. I would use my ignore list so I wouldnt get triggered, this means I would not have dissociated into my alters here on psych central.

Add to this that my alters did not know what computers, cell phone, the internet was. we grew up in a place where we didnt have those things.

in other words all the necessary elements (my getting triggered into dissociating at exactly the right moments on psych central, and my alters having knowledge of a computer and how it works) needed for my teen alters to post in this section just were not there for me.

my point since there is no promise of when someone is going to become their teen alters, so this section tends to be real slow and rarely posted in, the same with the garden, its real slow and rarely posted in. but its there just in case someone is so triggered that they need a slow and safe place to hang out. The garden is for things like telling jokes and stories, fun stuff.

sometimes i wished DID was the kind of mental disorder where a person could say hey Im going on psych central and when i do I am going to be Thelma now and then later Im going to go into the garden and be rainy, and Im going to be red in the emotions section.... yea it doesnt work that way unfortunately we dont get to choose when we are going to be alters and when we are going to be triggered so bad that we switch into alters.

most of us members with dissociation problems post in the regular dissociative disorders section, anyone can post there whether they are dissociating or not at the moment. its for the heavier topics like feeling dissociated, getting information about dissociation and dissociation disorders. and its not limited to just people with DID, its for all kinds of dissociation problems.

welcome and hope this has helped you to understand each section of the dissociative disorders forum.

[Amyjay]

Hi Bel! One of our teen alters felt a bit like you, she felt all the others didn't like her and she felt really isolated and alone a lot of the time. With us we used to be afraid of her because she felt her emotions so intensely and the ways she tried to "help" actually hurt us quite a bit. (Not suggesting that is what is going on for you, just giving a bit of back story to what happened for us).
To cut a long story short, after a long time of us not really liking her very much and keeping her away, during one particularly challenging time for us all she did something so unexpected and so helpful we were all a bit taken aback. We didn't have much communication with her but we knew it was her that helped us because it was in her handwriting. We sent our thanks inwards to her and she responded, and it was only then we realized she had been "on our team" the whole time, we just hadn't realized she was just trying to help in the only way she knew how. We found out that all she really wanted was for us to like her and not hate her and to not be alone anymore. We asked her to join us and she was so grateful she cried.
Since then we now work together with her and we know she has a lovely heart and also went through some really hard things. And we know she did that so we didn't have to. We have a lot to thank her for, she did a really important job for us all. We couldn't have done it without her.

I wanted to share that with you to let you know that things can change, and every single one in the system is so important, including you. You were needed in the system for a very important task that only you could do. It's great they let you on here because they thought you needed an outlet. That shows they are caring for you.

Welcome to the forum!

[rise13eyond]

omg i totally get that! i like never get to do what I want to do. like some people wont talk to me if they knew i was an alter. and i dont get to front much and the host doesn't like it when i do. :P welcome to here and if you ever need anyone to talk to you can come to us.