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Old 12-28-2019, 11:39 AM   #1
echoing
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echoing Confused
 
Member Since: Dec 2019
Location: India
Posts: 8
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Trig A lot of issues...

17 y/o female here. I feel like I have a lot of issues. I'll start by giving a short history - I feel like I've had a pretty happy childhood, at least relatively. My parents have had their differences and a lot of fights because of that, but I guess that's normal. I think my dad has had a pretty big impact on me because of his personality, which is loving and caring but a little emotionally distant, narcissistic, he has a fragile ego and a temper. No serious history of abuse of any kind as far as I'm aware.

I have a lot of self-esteem issues and I think I'm hypersensitive which doesn't make it easier. I am extremely defensive about myself at the same time too. I've indulged in self-harm, but never with the intention to kill myself. I've been going to a therapist for the last 4-5 months and since then I've found out that I have anxiety issues. I tend to overthink and then paranoia often comes into play. I have a very understanding and supportive boyfriend so that helps a lot.

One main concern I have about myself is that I'm into masochism and other stuff usually involved in the BDSM world. I haven't indulged in sexual relations yet, but I've discovered that to be what I truly enjoy. I'd like to be hurt and humiliated with little or no power in sexual situations. I could go as far as to call them forced-sex fantasies. And in aftercare sessions (after sexting or whatever) I like to my boyfriend 'daddy', which leads me to believe that I am craving the kind of affection I never got from my own father, from my s/o.

So yeah, I feel very messed up sometimes. And I don't know what exactly I'm looking for here, but some clarity won't hurt.

Last edited by atisketatasket; 12-28-2019 at 04:56 PM.. Reason: Added trigger icon
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