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Member Since Aug 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 71
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#1
I am at a crossroads. I have to make the most important decision of my life. This decision will change my life once and for all.
Do I go to rehab again to try to get clean or ? I refuse to live as a drug addict any longer. I must make a decision one way or another. Before I got my current place I was homeless for 9 years. I have been a drug addict since the age of 12 and I am now 50 years old. I am simply tired of this life. You addicts know exactly what I'm about. You say to yourself, "I don't want to get high today". But yet, there you go off to buy drugs. Then you consume the drugs and feel bad about it. It is a vicious cycle that I do not want to be a part of anymore. This is not new for me. I have been contemplating the end for more than two decades. Now I am extremely serious. And so serious that I am scared. In the past, when I thought about this I quickly laughed it off because I knew it was something that I could not do to myself. I want to end my suffering. I want to stop being a drug addict. __________________ Click Here Now >>> http://trying-to-change-my-life-now.blogspot.com/ Trying to Change My Life one day at a time. Last edited by FooZe; May 11, 2015 at 01:53 AM.. Reason: administrative edit to bring within giudelines |
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fisherqueenxo, mote.of.soul, sarah putney
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,411
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#2
Ramirorico, I am sorry that you feel you only have the 2 options you mention. If you feel that way you are very vulnerable and should put together a safety plan.
https://www.google.com/url?q=http://...9legYtSuUNJ0xA But there are other options that people facing addiction choose: they get a therapist to help talk things through. They get a psychiatrist that can get a diagnosis and prescribe meds to help stabilize. The biggest reason I have found for not attempting self harm is the stories I hear about those who try and survive. They know instantly it is a mistake. It is really not an option. Your two options as I see them are to suffer in your condition or seek help. Anything else is trying to run away from responsibility. Life in the human body is our best chance to find a way out of the traps we are caught in. Throwing it away is not a response that makes any sense to me. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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ramirorico
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fisherqueenxo, mote.of.soul, ramirorico
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Member
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 71
9 7 hugs
given |
#3
Thanks for your advice. I'm currently seeing a therapist and I have an appointment with my psychiatrist this week.
I talked to my therapist last week about about the issue and he said we were going to discuss it more this week. __________________ Click Here Now >>> http://trying-to-change-my-life-now.blogspot.com/ Trying to Change My Life one day at a time. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,449
9 604 hugs
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#4
Hi,
Rehab is good. Get the best one you can afford and stay in it as long as you can. Do the in patient lodging, halfway house, sober living house and really put at least and entire year into nothing but your recovery. It's worth it. Good luck, moogs __________________ Current Status: Stable/High Functioning/Clean and Sober Dx: Bipolar 2, GAD Current Meds: Prozac 30mg, Lamictal 150mg, Latuda 40mg, Wellbutrin 150 XL Previous meds I can share experiences from: AAPs - Risperdal, Abilify, Seroquel SSRIs - Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft Mood Stabilizers - Tegretol, Depakote, Neurontin Other - Buspar, Xanax Add me as a friend and we can chat |
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Angelique67, fisherqueenxo
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 11
8 |
#5
First of all, congratulations on taking this first step. Many people that end up in recovery don't actually want to be there, believe it or not. Rehab should be the route you go if you've never been before. It would give you the opportunity to detox under medical supervision and then receive counseling, group sessions for more than a month. I see you live in San Francisco. Have you given Valley Recovery Center any thought? They're two hours away from you in Sacramento and offer excellent inpatient and outpatient treatment programs. They're also in network with a large number of insurance companies, which will cover most of your stay. Best of luck to you!
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New Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: California
Posts: 5
8 |
#6
Hello bud,
I am sorry you are going through this. That is a long time, but it is never too late to change it around. If you could afford it or have health insurance, then rehab is a great idea. But when you get out, it's the real battle. It's easy to stay sober in a treatment center, but when you get out then it gets real. That's why the best option I think is a sober living house. I live in one right now. I see that you are in San Francisco, well I live in Santa Rosa in Sonoma County. There are a lot of good SLE's out here, and they are all very interconnected with each other making for a good support group. Also there are some good treatment centers out here such as Azure Acres or Mount Vista Farms. Good luck bud! |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 533
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#7
To me addiction and alcohol or drug abuse is a mostly slow and painful way to end your suffering. What else can it be ? You are killing yourself . So saying your thinking about a final solution is already being acted upon. Why don't you rather decide to go to the rehab and give it a try. If it doesn't work your addiction will kindly refund your misery.
good luck my friend __________________ Today is the first day of the rest of my life. *Disclaimer * Anything I have posted is strictly my own personal opinion or experience , and is in no way, shape, or form meant to portray a professional assesment of any kind. CB |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: 5820 Chestnut Ave, Orangevale, CA
Posts: 1
6 |
#8
Good to know that you are giving a thought over it. Numerous individuals that end up in recuperation would prefer really not to be there, trust it or not. Recovery ought to be the course you go in the event that you've never been. It would give you the chance to detox under therapeutic supervision and after that get advising, gather sessions for over a month. I see you live in San Francisco. Have you given candsrecovery.com Services any idea? They're three hours from you in Orangevale, CA and offer phenomenal residential and outpatient treatment programs. Good luck to you!
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Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 1,460
7 41 hugs
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#9
Quote:
__________________ True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#10
Been where you are...done that. You didn't mention what drugs so going to say rehab to make sure you detox safely. Physical complications may require professional interventions. Going it alone can not only be dangerous but the thought processes on drugs are very different from thinking while coming off drugs from the thinking drug free. A whole new world when drugs aren't shaping thought and reality. Why reinvent the wheel? Get help from people also going thru it and therefore understand & from people who are living drug free. Take the best care of yourself.....there are no brownie points for doing it the hard way.
UOTE=ramirorico;4440502]I am at a crossroads. I have to make the most important decision of my life. This decision will change my life once and for all. Do I go to rehab again to try to get clean or ? I refuse to live as a drug addict any longer. I must make a decision one way or another. Before I got my current place I was homeless for 9 years. I have been a drug addict since the age of 12 and I am now 50 years old. I am simply tired of this life. You addicts know exactly what I'm about. You say to yourself, "I don't want to get high today". But yet, there you go off to buy drugs. Then you consume the drugs and feel bad about it. It is a vicious cycle that I do not want to be a part of anymore. This is not new for me. I have been contemplating the end for more than two decades. Now I am extremely serious. And so serious that I am scared. In the past, when I thought about this I quickly laughed it off because I knew it was something that I could not do to myself. I want to end my suffering. I want to stop being a drug addict.[/QUOTE] |
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