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Member Since Feb 2018
Location: West Europe
Posts: 314
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#1
I am finding it difficult to forgive people who in my time of need were very cruel.
I was admitted to rehabilitation at 24. I was drinking and cut my medication because my mum get telling people I had something wrong with me. I planned to move away for a fresh start as I had also split from a possessive and very manipulative boyfriend/fiance. I felt like the world was against me and that because I was taking medication that nobody would believe a word I said. And that no matter what I did people would always say there is still something wrong with me even if I was a good mother, a good worker or a good partner. True to my suspicion the first nurse I encountered in the psychiatric ward said to me : you will never be getting out of here jenny. I think it's about time I was vindicated. |
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mote.of.soul, sans
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: Ky
Posts: 430
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#2
It is hard to forgive. Give yourself time. What you think of yourself is what really matters. Choosing to forgive will happen when the time is right.
Take care of yourself! Sans |
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Anonymous40258
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Account Suspended
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: West Europe
Posts: 314
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#3
My fiance was notorious for putting people down . He was an insanely jealous type. I remember watching Michael Thelps the American swimmwr at Beijing. He won 8 medals. Martins sneers, " oh there is something wrong with him though wouldn't want to be him" He just had adhd but everyone has different severities so his might not be bad. My bi-polar is worse. I can't survive without medication.
When I was recovering at home after my episode. I was in bed with flu seeing my immune system was likely a bit down. My mum pulled out all the stops; and put ONE tin of heinz tomato soup in microwave. She asked if I wanted anything and I nearly died of shock so chanced my luck and asked for Tom soup. I had app with doctor and my mum demanded to come . Gave me no option. She told the doctor " I have been looking after her" so I settled the matter and said : I had a mild flu and my mother heated up ONE tin of tomato soup for me in the microwave ONCE. The doctor got the picture and my mum folded her arms and scowled for next ten minutes. Now I had to waste my session and couldn't say what was bothering me now . Thanks for nothing mither |
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mote.of.soul
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Account Suspended
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: West Europe
Posts: 314
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#4
My fiance kept saying to me " you need to let me in ". But talking to him was like a getting blood from a stone nine times out of ten. I was still trying to figure things out when we moved in together.
Before I took my overdose because of Fred, my supervisor said I had to take to sone one otherwise I would explode or end up in ward four. So I spoke to the big boss and it actually helped. I had a nip before coming to work and talked incoherent nonsense. My head was spinnig. She gave me an awkward hug, and said you act like a hard nut at work ! It really diffused the situation. I realised that I had to solve the puzzles of my past or might say something I would regret forever. |
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mote.of.soul
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Dresser Wisconsin
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#5
Bitterness is like drinking posion and hoping the other person dies. Try to forgive. Good luck
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Account Suspended
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: West Europe
Posts: 314
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#6
Quote:
I'm bitter ? My father was a bitter old man who hadn't dealt well with life had thrown at him. He blamed everyone else. His mother fault as to why he dropped out of school at 15 . The armies fault for being abandoned and kicked out. An unrelated accident as to why he still limped from a broken leg. God's fault for him having a stroke ( he chained smoked after the army) and my mum was the bit*h he married because life is a bit*h. Well I have a mental diagnoses (could be HIS fault his genes) but I don't want pity or sympathy. I just want to move on.somehow. Fred was bitter that he could not find an employer to get an apprenticeship as a youngster. His job had no overtime available. And he was blatantly jealous of the man in the office whom was around his age because he had gift of the gab and was wise to politics and work relationships. Fred did a lot of mathematics but he was quiet, angry and harboured serious issues. |
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Member
Member Since May 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 347
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#7
Forgiveness is what happens when we are willing to let go of the list of wrongs other people have done/caused in our lives.
It's a process, not an event. Forgiveness is something we do not because the offender "deserves" or "is worthy" --- it's because WE are. We don't need even the sight of that old shyte cluttering up our lives and brains and emotions. We do it to get clear of that clutter. We do it to have personal peace. IMO. Chyia |
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Anonymous40258
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#8
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I hope you are vindicated too! Abusers need to make amends and ask for forgiveness on bended knee...it's part of THEIR PROGRAM. If they don't well...... |
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