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Old 06-14-2018, 09:04 AM #1
Eribrite88 Eribrite88 is offline
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Default #metoo

The only reason I'm putting this in here is because it happened at a meeting, but if it doesn't belong in here please move it. So I met this AA member about a year ago......easy banter from the start, he was touchy feely but it wasn't creepy........it was more.........comforting in a way. Actually was proud of myself that I could handle someone being touchy feely with me. So he pops up randomly at the meetings I attend.........again, didn't think it was creepy.........probably should have thought it was creepy but I didn't. Fast forward to Tuesday night, he pops up at my home group........we were bantering back and forth before the meeting started, and when the meeting was over I go in for a friendly hug. I hug a lot of the male AA members at my home group, I thought nothing of going in for a friendly hug. ............then he flipped the script on me. He pulls me in way too close for way too long, he was breathing heavy in my ear, his face buried in my neck..........and then I swear I felt him kiss my neck. I was frozen.........I tried to pull away but he just held me closer.........and so I froze. I didn't know what to do. He eventually pulls away and said I smell good. And I just walk away.

I talked in chat about this, that was super helpful because Tuesday night this made me crash..........I talked in counseling about this, and I talked to my sponsor about this..........

But the problem I'm having is that my sponsor is challenging me to say something to him.........and I don't know if I'm comfortable doing that alone.........
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Old 06-14-2018, 09:19 AM #2
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childofchaos831 childofchaos831 is offline
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Default Re: #metoo

Could you have someone nearby, with in earshot, but not necessarily right there. I kind of agree that saying something is a good idea. If he isn't told it made you uncomfortable, he may get the wrong idea.

My experience with AA, some people can be there for the wrong reasons, unfortunately. But some people also can read signals wrong. I've had some men read the fact that I gave them a hug as "interest" when I hug a lot of the people at the meeting.

It took me a while to get to the hugging point, for the same reasons as you. I do not like being touched and really can only tolerate it at AA, with people I trust. What he did would have made me freeze in place also.

You did all the right things, talking about. Take your time, figure out what you want to say and come up with a game plan. It will all work out how it is supposed to work out.
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