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Old 06-20-2018, 12:22 AM #1
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Default Step 4

Hi there. I feel silly asking, but I'm going to anyway.

I was recently suggested a book by Russell Brand, Recovery Freedom From Our Addictions. It was suggested to me because I had a lot of questions (I have a partner and friends that are in recovery). So if you've read it, you remember the parts where Brand talks about how things that **** us up are in everyone? So, I'm doing the steps as I read each section.

I'm at step 4. Brand mentions that you should have a mentor that's gone through the steps already to guide you in completing it. As I'm not a person in recovery, do I need to find someone that is in recovery to help me through this? Does this person have to know me well, or can it be a complete stranger? Is it stupid that I'm doing the steps to better understand?
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Old 11-02-2018, 10:29 AM #2
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Default Re: Step 4

Hi ohmydaisy,


I've read the book by Russell Brand. Remember it's just his take on things. A sponsor should have at least worked the steps to a point past where you are at, however I prefer to have a sponsor that has long-term recovery. I personally think strangers are best. You get close to someone you don't know. I find it easier to share with my Sponsor than a friend or family member.


It isn't stupid that you are doing the steps to better understand. The 12 steps are a way of life really. Regardless of having some sort of addiction or not the steps teach us a better way to live. How to be a better person........Go to a meeting, any meeting. Don't work the steps in isolation. If you are trying to understand for a friend or family member that is addicted to something then you could try an Al Anon meeting.
Go to the source "The Big Book" Alcoholics Anonymous. Many people who are working the steps (even if alcohol isn't there addiction) use the Big Book. Yes the way the book is written seems outdated and old at times but what you should get from it is the core meaning.


I hope you find what you are looking for.
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Old 11-05-2018, 11:03 PM #3
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Default Re: Step 4

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1000islandgirl View Post
Hi ohmydaisy,


I've read the book by Russell Brand. Remember it's just his take on things. A sponsor should have at least worked the steps to a point past where you are at, however I prefer to have a sponsor that has long-term recovery. I personally think strangers are best. You get close to someone you don't know. I find it easier to share with my Sponsor than a friend or family member.


It isn't stupid that you are doing the steps to better understand. The 12 steps are a way of life really. Regardless of having some sort of addiction or not the steps teach us a better way to live. How to be a better person........Go to a meeting, any meeting. Don't work the steps in isolation. If you are trying to understand for a friend or family member that is addicted to something then you could try an Al Anon meeting.
Go to the source "The Big Book" Alcoholics Anonymous. Many people who are working the steps (even if alcohol isn't there addiction) use the Big Book. Yes the way the book is written seems outdated and old at times but what you should get from it is the core meaning.


I hope you find what you are looking for.
Thank you so much for responding!!!

I'll definitely look into "The Big Book". I heard that there's also a book for the loved ones that have addictions?

I appreciate your response!
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Old 11-06-2018, 05:43 AM #4
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Default Re: Step 4

I'm in AA (15 years sober), but think some of the steps produce shame if taken to extremes. The key is to fearlessly identify some of your shortcomings. I love AA but am still cautious about beating myself up too much. Some of my shortcomings are a product of my BP. I have to rely on a sponsor & my therapist for the wisdom to know the difference.
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