[wheredidthepartygo]

life's chaotic and we're making this thread for us all
our teens are lovely kids who haven't all introduced themselves yet but hopefully this is where that will happen
our host (party) is a very cautious person (one could say "paranoid" but we say "for good reason") so while we've all been trying to journal... party doesn't like written physical proof of us existing where people could find it
and being only 21 the internet is that safe anonymous haven in his mind :shrugs:
so this is our hideaway, our hangout and our clubhouse
add more later

[wheredidthepartygo]

i can't believe they're trying this again. they're just gonna get hurt.
and then i'm the bad guy cause i speak my mind and tell the truth

[wheredidthepartygo]

they edited it a bit i guess it's okay

[wheredidthepartygo]

red's the best, man
red's our leader, red set this place up for us
a bunch of us just wanna say thanks to red for being there for all of us
(the only one available to all of us, no matter how scary or mean, red understands)
:hearts:

[wheredidthepartygo]

read some of richard baer's Switching Parts... i like it so far. reminds me a bit of reading the psychotherapy threads on here about good therapists. makes me believe they might actually be real.

[wheredidthepartygo]

read a bit of my old journal from 2013... wrote about dissociation and PTSD in it. so funny, back then i was just trying to understand if anything at all had ever happened to me or if i was just crazy.
lots of dream descriptions which i love to read.

Possible trigger:

one about peeing blood. another about shitting it. one where a guy threatens to rape me with a hunting knife before stabbing me.

interesting to go back and read the turmoil going on.

[wheredidthepartygo]

we have a confession
we were sexually abused when we were little and we know that it's not a big deal but we've never actually accepted it
i feel like i'm gonna pee my pants this is so scary
and we always knew but we couldn't KNOW so we had to pretend we didn't and then when that guy showed up we knew WE KNEW he was one of them and we knew our baby was in danger but we couldn't tell
we couldn't tell and we're sorry we're so sorry it's unbearable but if we told we would have to say how we knew and then we'd have to tell and we couldn't tell
we couldn't tell because we couldn't know and then he hurt our baby and we could've stopped it cause we knew but we were so scared we were sick and they said we couldn't tell
i'm so sorry. i'm so so sorry it'll never happen again
we'll figure out what happened and we'll get better because nothing like that can happen again

[wheredidthepartygo]

did the first half of our psych assessment today. mostly just cognitive testings, pretty calm, we brought our baby blanket in the backpack at the request of some littles (though i think it made us all feel better) and it kept us all safer feeling
we go back tomorrow morning. maybe they'll actually bring up relevant things

[wheredidthepartygo]

did the second half. lots of questionnaires. they used to be really hard to do cause everyone had a different answer for each question and we wouldn't know how to answer. now we just let whoever has the strongest reaction to the question gets to answer it. kinda like early bird gets the worm. some needed extra internal discussion.
"i believe there are three or four personalities in me" (not exact wording but u get the drift)
we had to stare at it so long before deciding if we should put true or false

[wheredidthepartygo]

drank a 1L bottle of vodka cooler and a bunch of fireball last night and smoked almost an entire pack of cigarettes. the drinking we wanted to do... wanted to see how it'd be different. it wasn't. actually it was because it wasn't as fun as being drunk used to be. idk who came out but they have a dang high tolerance. actually they're probably just way too on guard to "be drunk" which is why it was ******. no fun goofy mind drunkenness or self-confidence
so that's all for drinking for now. no more thanks.
now whereas this cigarette problem needs to be nipped in the bud. it leaves the body feeling sick and disgusting, especially with alcohol.

[wheredidthepartygo]

not much has been going on. it's Saturday, we were supposed to phone someone on Wednesday but... we didn't
hate the phone
trying to move and it feels like everyone's run away, it's so quiet inside...
i think they're hiding because we're pretending to be too busy for them

[Fuzzybear]

"paranoid" .... "for good reason"



yess

[Georgia Bridge]

Hey, Fuzzy!!!
Do you still come here, wheredidthepartygo?
There are a lot of books out there that you'd probably find very helpful.
Happy almost autumn!
--

[Georgia Bridge]

I'm not too sure but I think there are more girls with MPD than boys with MPD.
If that's the case there are more books about girl patients than boy patients; most of the books I've seen are about girl patients.
Cameron West is a man who has MPD who ends up becoming a psychiatrist, i think.
He also wrote a fiction book. I haven't read that one though.
I can't never tell so I always guess whether people are male or female on this site. I guessed you are male.
I sorry if wrong.

Originally Posted by Georgia Bridge

I'm not too sure but I think there are more girls with MPD than boys with MPD.
If that's the case there are more books about girl patients than boy patients; most of the books I've seen are about girl patients.
Cameron West is a man who has MPD who ends up becoming a psychiatrist, i think.
He also wrote a fiction book. I haven't read that one though.
I can't never tell so I always guess whether people are male or female on this site. I guessed you are male.
I sorry if wrong.

Actually, the numbers are about even between born males and females having this condition. It's just that males tend to hide it over seeking help, and they are more prone to end up in prison. That's just so unfortunate. My pdoc also told me that some DIDers aren't even aware that they are and go on to live their lives. I can see it if they're cocon.

It finally quit raining! YAAAAY! It's been a week.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Hi. There are 5 Littles that live in the broken palace. Only one who is only 4 has spoken to anyone outside.