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NarcolepticRage
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Frown Aug 27, 2019 at 12:32 AM
  #1
I have been going through some rough crap over the last few months with no clear skies for the remainder of the year.

I am seeking counceling and have been put on Fluoxetine to go along with the Dexamfetamine for my ADD.

9 years of childhood abuse has been catching up on me in the worst way and has totally shattered my life and has torn me away from my family.

I am struggling to keep it together but it has been challenging. On July the 5th I was hospitalised after an attempt to end my decades of internal agony with recent events stacked on top of that.

I am currently onto my third week with the Fluoxetine but it has only dulled the intensity of what feels like an unending mental breakdown, something that I have gone through repeatedly with increasing intensity with each episode.

Currently, I am still struggling with the anxiety and mania, the latter being a new problem that has popped up in the ever growing list of problem's as my mind tries to cope with my childhood trauma, self destructive thoughts or behaviours and the negativity generated from my mental health problems and unhealthy coping mechanisms that I have ignored for decades as it snowballed into a full blown avalanche of mental instability.

I just hope I can survive the emotional cyclone that I am currently sitting in the eye of as I prepare for the worst that is still to come.

I once thought I was fine and I could fix it myself, but it turned out that the problem was far more serious than I first realised as everyone, myself included, was only seeing the tip of the iceberg that I was inevitably going to collide with.

What makes this even worse is that this is one of my better days where I am not drowning in my emotional chaos.
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Smile Aug 27, 2019 at 03:11 PM
  #2
Hello NarcolepticRage: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. The anxiety & survivors of abuse forums, here on PC, may be of particular interest to you. Here are links to these forums:

https://psychcentralforums.com/anxie...c-and-phobias/

https://psychcentralforums.com/survivors-of-abuse/

You may also wish to take a look at the Psychiatric Medications forum:

https://psychcentralforums.com/psychiatric-medications/

And then here are links to 4 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that may be of interest to you:

Anxiety Disorders: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central

Healing Your Inner Child

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-step...r-inner-child/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-way...pomania/?all=1

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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Default Aug 27, 2019 at 04:00 PM
  #3
Childhood abuse and trauma leads to a lot of mental health conditions.So sorry you went through it and suffering intensely.I can relate.
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Default Sep 02, 2019 at 09:45 PM
  #4
Thank you for the information. I have been looking through the links and intend to sit down to read the information in detail.

The violent upbringing has been at the core of my many issues, I also had numerous acts of violence and crime committed against me throughout my adult life where the outcome is my anxiety, PTSD, social phobia and panic attacks have amplified to levels beyond the levels of the levels of where I was originally at.

It has been suggested that the initial trauma may have been managble at first but the series of unfortunate events eventually complicated matters as the initial mental health problems acted as an amplifier for the random traumatic events throughout the years.

It has resulted in numerous possible mental health problems and unhealthy coping mechanisms that doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists are still trying to uncover. My many years of keeping quiet about my problems had also exasperated the issue and many of the behavioural habits I developed had eventually evolved into even more disorders as my deteriorating mental health continued to progress unnoticed and the fact that people misunderstanding my behaviour and reacting to it with the utmost hostility served to accelerate it in the vicious cycle of psychological decay and sociatal ignorance the continued unabated until it reached a point where it could no longer be ignored as my family was forced to realise that I had a problem and it had become serious enough that it now looked at as a very dangerous situation for my mental health and well being.

Sadly, the vast majority of people don't know how to deal with mental illness let alone have the tolerance for dealing with people who are suffering from it in long term situations. This in itself has been a catalyst other branching disorders that have made me manically depressed, paranoid, delusional and in the end, horribly lonely and isolated.

I am grateful for the information you have provided and genuinely hope that it isn't too late for me to be able to get my mental state stable enough to be manageable as family and professionals have started to consider the possibility of hospitalisation if I deteriorate any further as I have reached the point where I am walking on the very edge of certifiable insanity and have on occasion dipped into temporary states of it on several occasions so I hope to get as much information as I can so I can learn how to fight the problem before it's too late for me.

Thank you.
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Default Sep 02, 2019 at 09:52 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul View Post
Childhood abuse and trauma leads to a lot of mental health conditions.So sorry you went through it and suffering intensely.I can relate.

I must apologise as I have no words to respond with but I can let you know that you have my utmost appreciation and gratitude for your kind words. Thank you.
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