Any advice would be much appreciated

I've struggled with mental illness in various forms for 4 years. I'm now 19, working at a movie theater after dropping out of high school and college a couple times, and have been diagnosed w/ADD, depression, anxiety, and bipolar 2. Been on so many meds, the most recent one being Seroquel which I just titrated off of because, although it made me a little more calm and grounded, I felt no ambition and was still unable to feel any pleasure. I've been striking out with therapists since I've moved back home, and exercise isn't providing relief the way it used to. Feeling pretty hopeless! I think the predominant symptoms I'm currently struggling with are memory problems, major anxiety, anhedonia and capital D Dissociation. I just don't feel here anymore, and I contemplate suicide daily not from the presence of emotional pain, but a feeling that I'm disappearing, and if I offed myself I'd only be affirming the mental representation I have of myself. I've been thinking of revisiting some older meds, but I just feel kind of out of options. Just tried neurofeedback with no luck. Any advice at all would be much appreciated. Thank you!

Hello b_b: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I don't know as I have any particular suggestions for you. From what you wrote, it sounds to me as though you probably need to get back with the mental health professionals in your life & just simply start trying some different things again. I know how tiring this can be & how dismal it can make one feel. But, really, it's the only way if one is struggling as much as you appear to be.

I know you wrote you've been contemplating suicide daily. One of the things that happens, when a person becomes suicidal, is that the person's focus narrows to the point where they begin to feel suicide is the only option left them even though it in all likelihood is not. It's important to reach out, in real life, for the help you need. We here on PC can try to be supportive. Thats's a big part of why we're all here. But, as I'm sure you realize, there's a real limit to what can be accomplished on-line.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

The issues you are experiencing produce symptoms that can be alleviated with medicine, but not cured. A combination of psychotherapy and medicinal help would most likely be the best decision; you would be making your life a little better with milder symptoms, but also addressing the core issues that have led to these problems within therapy, thus learning to manage or overcome them.

My doctor added Ritalin to treatment resisant depression along with Wellbutrin and it's working like a charm.

don't stop exercising or taking your meds, whatever you do!

Yoga? The whole purpose is to be present, the opposite of dissociating...

YOGA YOGA YOGA - not only does it make u feel present but it's way easier than cardio which deters most ppl from working to begin with.
Drinking lots of tea - chamomile, ginger, green
playing mind stimulating games
making art - whatever form it is. Right now is an ideal time to create.