sorry

i've been gone so long...but like my mood says i've been very busy with my children school, and afterschool activities and now that school is done i can have some down time.

since january i've been planinng a surpise party from my mas 70th birthday and with every choice i made i text or picture text my brothers to let them know what's going on.

things were moving slowly because my brothers couldn't make a decision on a date..i thought May but brother #2 is moving so i thought june but brother #1 wasn't sure if he was going to have his kids with him...so the date was up in the air.

well brother #1 insisted it had to be may 12th, at my aunt Y house.
i thought may 12th was too soon and i didn't want at my aunts house. i wanted it on may 25th at my house. brother #1 insisted his way, made the call and that was it...here's a little thing you need to know about aunt"Y" son, when i was 12 years old he molested me for 2 years and nothing was done about it

the next day i ordered the cake, went out to buy sodas, water, paper plates, napkins, cups, and my table clothes. i asked my aunt Y if i could drop them off, and she said yes.

my aunt Y lives alone in a 5,000 square foot home, when i came to drop the things off, i was just about to put them in her basement when she said no put them in my garage.

than i went home and made calls to relatives about the party. when i called aunt "X" she went off on me, how could you have a party at aunt "Y" house and not invite her children, i said no cousins are invited its just the aunts and uncles, she said aunt "Y" feelings are hurt, you better call her kids, and don't tell anut "Y" that i told you these things.

so i called aunt "Y" and asked when is it a good time to call your children, she gave me their numbers and i called.

instead of them calling me back they called their mother back and said they are coming.

aunt "Y" calls me and wants to know whats on the menu, how many people are invited and who are coming. i told her and when it came to the menu i told her what i was going to make, ribs, roast beef, and fruit salad not to mention i will be ordering pizzas, chicken, and mojos. aunt "Y" said, wow, we are not 2 people how are you going to make all of these things.

i told her, don't worry i know how to cook. she asked what am i going to do with drinks, some people like to have a mix drink before they have meal. i said i know, i have it covered, she said, i like to have a mix drink and in the back ground you can hear bottles clinking together.

i told her, i've given plenty of parties before i know i need to serve mix drinks and beer, my in laws like to have a mix drink before dinner. aunt "Y" says I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. so to end this conversation i said yes aunt "Y" i will get the drinks don't worry and hang up.

THAT WAS IT! i got my brother involved, and he said i had to just take it how my aunt was treating me and invite her kids. this wasn't the response i was looking for so now i had to tell my hubby.

to say hubby was upset was an understatement, he called my brother and told him we aren't coming and you know the reason why. my brother said not a problem.

my hubby told me i am not to make any food for this party, and to tell my brother that it's his responsibility.

brother #1 text me that i need some special help, that what my cousin did to me i made everybody elses problem, and he will not cancel the party.

it's been this way all my life with my family...i am to be seen but not heard.

anyway...the surprise party happened...i didn't go...my ma mailed me a mothers day card two days after mothers day...she left me a vm asking what happened...i told her everything...and it's been a month now since i've seen her or spoken to her.

how many times and how many ways do i have to make my ma and brothers understand that i need their support? i am emotionally and mentally exhausted.

my husband has been supporting me...he said to me the other day...do you know what insanity means? you keep doing the same thing over and over again hoping to get a different result.

I am so sorry and want to add my own hugs. My family dynamic is very, very similar so I understand what you are going through and truly sympathize. I hope things have gotten better for you as parts of my family are currently rejecting me as well and I would like to think that there hope for my family. Be very grateful for your husband, mine is not supporting me in this and it is terribly hurtful.

I am soooo sorry all of this happened. I have relatives on my husband's side like that too and there is no way you can ever please them. I really don't know what I would have done in your situation, but knowing me I would have just toughed it out. And then I would have been mad about it for a good while