The annoying, yet necessary evil of bras.

I hate my bras. More specifically I hate how the underwire pokes me in the armpits, digs into my ribs under my breasts, and how the damn straps on one of them keeps falling down my shoulders no matter how many times I readjust them. I know there are bras that are designed to be comfortable, but at the same time, the don't really appeal to me visually. Besides, I have large breasts, 36DD to be exact, and finding a bra that fits all 3 criteria (aka cute, functional and comfortable) is next to impossible in that size. All the cute ones are usually the smaller ones.

It's honestly no wonder I ditch wearing them while at home. The only real reason I do wear them is so that my breasts don't flop around all over the place, drawing unwanted attention my way when I'm out in public. I almost feel naked without one on if I merely go out to get the mail from my mailbox. Yeah, those cloth and lace contraptions are a necessary evil.

We have put Man on the Moon, sent rovers to Mars, discovered how to hurl atoms at one another at the speed of light to smash them to bits and extract new atomic material to study and analyze. Tell, me why, with all this super advanced technology we're living with, hasn't a single person invented a comfortable, cute and functional bra that all women can enjoy, no matter what size? I mean, it's not rocket science. It's garment making, for god sake.

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[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

I'm so with you - I absolutely despise bras but see them as a necessary evil. But I never wear one when I'm at home. But I won't go out without one.

One thing I've discovered is instead of underwire, I have more luck with sports bras, and I'm definitely well endowed, but the sports bras hold me more securely and the straps don't slip.

Just wish I didn't have to wear them at all.

splitimage

My old bras drove me crazy...nothing like being at work, tugging on your bra strap to pull it up over your shoulder right in front of everyone! I'm a 38D. I moved to T-back bras...my straps never fall down now. I wear sports bras at home, which are very similar in constitution as my regular "work T bras".

What I hate most about bras is that they are so expensive if you are looking for a good, supportive bra in a big size (I'm 38DDD). I have to wear bras because the bouncing of my boobs hurts otherwise when I move. I used to have a lot of problems with the straps until I bought these:

https://www.magicbodyfashion.com/en/magic-clip

They keep the straps together at your back so they can't fall down your shoulders.

Oh, by the way, fun way to turn your big boobs into a science experiment: fat really is less heavy than water, because if I'm in the bath, my boobs float.

Have you tried a professional bra fitting? Some lingerie stores have them... I've also found the saleswomen at Nordstroms (if you have one near you) to be fantastic as far as helping with getting the fit right and they carry bigger sizes in the stores.

You should be able to find a supportive bra that doesn't dig in to you with the underwire (or doesn't have an underwire - I had a sports bra with no underwire, and it was fine, despite my size being on the larger side... think ~5D!).

If your straps are constantly falling, it could be that you don't have a small enough/tight enough band. It sounds weird, and I don't understand the mechanics, but I've found that to be true to me. If you have room to tighten up the band, you might give that a try, though you might need one that's a little smaller around your ribs. (I think that when the band is properly tight, it provides some support so that your straps are not doing all of the work?)

In a pinch, I've also put a little moisturizer on my shoulders to make them less dry, which seems to help (a little?) with keeping the bands from slipping.

Sorry... you probably weren't looking for advice. I'm on the bigger side, and I'm much more comfortable (most of the time) with a (well-fitting) bra rather than without.

They are definitely too insanely expensive though. And, not enough stores carry bigger sizes. Heck, not enough brands make bigger sizes. I was wearing the wrong size in a really crappy bra (that looked terrible on me, apparently) for YEARS before some friends dragged me to the lingerie store as part of a makeover to get a proper fitting and buy some decent bras, and it was eye-opening. It was a bit weird, at first, having the store people help with something so intimate, but it was really helpful to figure out what I needed.

I can't speak to styles though, sorry! I'm pretty horrible with style/fashion type stuff. I think the ones I've got are nice enough looking, but I'm probably a bad judge!

Sorry you're having so much trouble with them! It really sucks that so many of them don't bother with bigger sizes, and those that due are usually imported and pricey. My bras are generally the most expensive thing I'm wearing, and actually cost more than my shoes! How crazy is that?!?!

Good luck!

Question:when measuring for band size,is it usually done above or below the breasts?I've been looking online and some sites say above and some say below,so not sure which is correct.

I am tired of bras not fitting well and being so uncomfortable and read how 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra.So I took my measurements and put them in an online calculator(measuring below breasts for band size) and was shocked for the results to be 34F or 34 FF.I've always worn a 34D or 34DD.That's a big difference!

Also,if it's a half number when measuring,should I round up or down?

Ugh,each site I go to seems to give a different bra size when I enter my measurements.Maybe I need to go in for a fitting somewhere.

My problem is my band size(measuring under breasts) is 30" and around the breasts is 37".I can't find a bra that's small enough in the band yet cups large enough to cover and hold in my big floppy blobs of flab.It doesn't look right or natural either because I am tall and thin.

ugh, i hate bras too. i am an odd shape so nothing fits and they are all so darn tight. i cut the sides to release the tightness. and i have to lengthen the straps. i bet you can get them custom-made. there are even bra-making classes (just google) and youtube videos but i don't like to sew. someone should come up with a custom bra-making kit. (like they have for mouthguards..)

Sorry you feel that way, i hav to agree with what some have already said and would sugguest that you might try a fitting. I went from being flat to a full C so wearing a bra is required for the most part. After being fitted I find that most of the time I heardly know I am wearing one. I also agree that a sportsbra might also be something to consider even for everyday use there are a couple of site like Title Nine that could be worth a shot and maybe call for advice.
hope that helps

Haha so true. Bras are extremely annoying so I don't wear them often anymore. I only wear it in the summer when I'm going somewhere (and I'm not wearing a raincoat or a jean jacket) but in the winter I never wear them. I'm on the smaller side of things so nipple pasties (that you can get from Walmart. Meant to be worn braless under your shirt) are a viable option.

Oops, sorry RubyRae - I wasn't following this thread.

re: Band size - I tend to measure under, but you're right, different websites will tell you to do it differently. I measure under, and try to get the measuring tape as tight as possible. If you're between numbers... I think you're supposed to round up, but I'm not positive.

A couple other tips and tricks though!

1. This probably isn't going to help you, RubyRae, but for anyone who isn't aware... you can buy bra extenders to make the band bigger! This is especially nice, since the bands tend to stretch with time. You can use an extender to make a band that's just a smidge too tight bigger, then remove it when the bra stretches a little, and get more use from the bra.

Here's an example of one (it comes as a set of 3, with different colors!) on Amazon... this one has 3 hooks, but you'll want to search for one with the same number of hooks as the bra that you want to wear it with.

https://www.amazon.com/Maidenform-Wo.../dp/B0083QLOOO

I haven't had any problems with these fitting, but some people have, if the vertical spacing between the hooks on your bra doesn't match the extender. The best thing is to buy someplace where you can return easily if it doesn't work .

(Kohls by me has them, but they're impossible to find in the store. When I buy them, I order them online and pick them up in the store. Easy to return if they don't work.)

2. Are you guys on reddit? I can't believe I forgot about this, but there's a whole subreddit dedicated to helping people find bras that fit properly... it's called "abrathatfits"...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/

I haven't looked there recently, but they should have some great links/resources on fitting, but they also talk about different aspects of your body and how that will affect fit, and what types of bras work best for different body types, if that makes sense. If you're trying to understand bra fit, it's a really good resource.

3. Yes, get a fitting! Specialty lingerie stores that specialize in bra fittings can do it, but if you don't have anything like that near by - check the fancier department stores. I've been getting odd size bras at Nordstrom's locally for the last couple of years, and the sales assistants have been *so* wonderful, patient, and kind. I haven't done a full fitting with them, but I have had them check out a bra that I was considering and help me adjust it, or suggest other bras/sizes that might work better. They've been *great* - I recommend them highly.

4. I know, I said this before too... but I'm still amazed too at the difference when you tighten up the band. The bras that I'm currently wearing are a couple years old and have stretched a bit. I had been wearing them on the 2nd set of hooks (of 3), but lately, the straps are constantly annoying me and slipping... when I tighten up to the tightest set of hooks, the straps magically behave! I believe that this puts some of the support work on the band instead of the strap. It doesn't feel obvious to me at all... but it works!

Ooh! re: the sizing... just like other clothes, not all bras are cut the same. Not all brands handle sizing the same. It sucks, but that's why if you can try them on in a store, you can get a better idea of what works If you look at the subreddit that I linked to, you'll see that some bras work better for some body types too... I don't have the details (not something I really spent a lot of time figuring out) - but there's a lot of variety. That's why I think an in-person fitting with someone who knows how this stuff works can be helpful.

>>I am tired of bras not fitting well and being so uncomfortable and read how 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra.

Yeah, it's amazing. If you've never looked at any of the European bras that are sold here and just stuck with US-bras, you'd think that cups bigger than "D" or maybe "DD" didn't exist at all . I can remember how frustrated I was shopping before I knew all this, because nothing worked at all... ugh.

I hope you can find some good fitting, comfortable bras! I wish it was an easier task! I really do think trying things on in stores is pretty essential... though you could also try someplace like Zappos that has free shipping and free returns (order a couple different sizes so you can compare, and send back everything that doesn't fit).

Good luck!

EDIT TO ADD: re: Getting a bra fitting at a nicer department store. I go during the middle of the week, about an hour before they close. There's less crowds that way, and I'm not having to deal with a ton of other people being around. Less stress for me. Sometimes I'm the only one in the whole lingerie department other than the sales people!

well I am sort of a newbie with bras just wearing them now for about 18mos since my surgery. I really have not issues with wearing them. actually I would prefer to wear a bra to then having them bounce. I have found movement to be much more annoying / distracting then to wear a well fitted bra. IMHO

Anyone get fed up with trying to fasten them? I try the clasping in the front and turning it around your body approach, but that's even harder. Tired of asking my husband to please fasten my bra for me.

Try fastening your bra with big breasts in the way...

MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!!
[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

that is the hardest thing to accomplish took me the longest time to be able to reach around hook in place. I would get two of the three hooks down but the last one still is the most difficult

I went & got fitted in M & S. they measured me & told me what my size was, which was completely different from the size I've been buying. However, when I tried the 'correct' bra for my measurements, the cups were too big & I could have put my shopping in them & still have room! Why is it so dam hard eh?

I know - it's a bugger. I keep having to sew on those extra extenders that you get from Walmart, with brand new hooks, because if I'm only able to do one hook, that hooks going to bend out of shape to no repair.

It's time to start a new trend!

OMG! Yes, count me in as one who hates an ill-fitting bra! I'm a large size as well. The last one that made me look decent fell completely apart and so now I'm wearing a few that don't fit at all...I have to save for a few weeks to get one good bra! UGH!

Lot's of people swear by the sports bra. They are meant to be comfortable. I might give them a try.

I love sports bras...the bad thing though is most are pullover style.If I buy the correct band size then I can't even pull them over my boobs to be able to wear them.

I'm considering breast reduction.I can't imagine what it would be like to have small,or even smaller breasts than I currently have.I'm sure my neck and back would thank me for it!

I also think I would look more proportionate if I did,being tall and thin with large breasts just doesn't look right on me.I know women pay to have them but I would be willing to give mine away if I could.