Unwanted Touching

I work in retail. An elderly man who frequents our store began stopping by my department to say Hello. Many regulars do. I often blow bubbles in the city as a de-stressor and since we are a breezy city, my bubbles travel all over and I am a bit of a local tourist attraction. This man from the store began to seek me out. Every time he saw me, he would call me Bubbles. Still, no shock, but he seemed to be getting a little more "friendly." A couple of weeks ago, at work, I was discussing something with a co-worker, behind a department wall and he poked his cane over the half wall to poke me with it. Three days ago, I was sitting in McDonald's,in our store, drinking a coffee, and the man walked up to me, had his cheek almost touching mine and placed his hand on my waist, then whispered in my ear, "Hey, Bubbles.How ya doin'?" I froze. He continued walking. I felt violated and dirty. When I began my shift, I felt threatened by any male co-worker who entered the department. I didn't know how to tell my fiance what had happened. I had the next day off of work and was waiting downtown at a bank and the man parked his car right beside me. I told the man that when he touched me, the day before, it was very uncomfortable and asked him not to touch me again and he was very angry. I am nervous.

Glad you told him that you didn't like it. This man is a creep. The fact that he parked beside you is really intimidating. I would mention this to your boss at work and the people you work with. Would you feel comfortable reporting him to the police?

Definitely tell the people you work with about this!
Well done for telling the man you were uncomfortable. Best wishes

I was given two report sheets to fill out. One for the day he touched me and one for the conversation by the bank. I was told that with documentation that I told him not to touch me, we can take action in the future if he does this again. I was told by a co-worker that he was looking for me while I was on lunch.

I have recent experience of this. It's a subject that makes me very annoyed! So I'll keep this brief.

Keep a notebook, detailing every incident. If he comes into your workplace, your manager or duty manager needs to take him to one side and give him a stern talking to, making it clear that either he is no longer welcome in the store (a good company would do that), or that he will be banned if there is a second incident.

Aside from the workplace, get the police involved the moment he appears anywhere in your orbit!

Coming down quickly and hard is best. Otherwise, this could drag on for ages, and really get you down.

It's good that others are aware of what is happening. Asking for you when you are on lunch is unsettling to say the least.

Unfortunately, my employer is Wal-Mart. So they won't ban anybody from shopping there unless they have stolen something. However, the report is on file as proof that I told him not to touch me again. If the man does it again, Wal-Mart management will pass the papers over to police and I can file charges. A co-worker informed me that the man's behaviour is controlling, spiteful, and a power game. He has been in the store since the incident and all management did was watch him from a distance. I was having anxiety attacks.

Now that is a big place but their response is still not good enough. Least they are on creep patrol. Can you check in with the police directly and ask them their advice? So sorry this is happening to you.

Actually, I have been getting more support from a career counsellor, regarding labour safety standards, and other shoppers, who know him and are spreading word among the community. They watch for him in the store and distract him from me if he approaches. Community is great.

I'm so happy you had the courage to tell him how you felt. When I was working at my first job, there was an elderly man who was a regular at the grocery store. He was friendly enough so I thought nothing of his kindness. I'm a generally cheerful and smiley person so maybe he thought that was an okay? I don't see how though. Am I supposed to be mean at work? Besides, this man was married and old enough to be my grandfather. I started that job when I was only 19.

But sure enough, I was standing near the doorway when he came into the store. I smiled and said hello and out of nowhere he got close and gave me a peck on the lips. A male coworker saw it and laughed. I felt so low and ashamed. There was another regular who out of nowhere said to me, "You like to be tied up don't you." A male coworker was laughing and replied that I do. The other male coworkers laughed as well (we were all peers so that shows their maturity level). Again, I didn't really no what to do. I wasn't raised knowing how men are to treat women either so I froze.

There was another incident where I just finally told my manager what this man had said. Thankfully, I didn't see that man anymore. Actually, I've had a lot of much older men inappropriately hitting on me without a care since I was fourteen. Thus goes one of our struggles as women. I always appreciate when I man politely tries to get to know me and politely backs off when I decline his advances.

Girl, all of this to say I understand. I don't really have an answer because I still get scared when it comes to men, and I still don't really know how to handle inappropriate comments and such. Sometimes it feels like we risk our lives just by speaking up.

I'm so glad you had the courage to speak up and get help and support!

Taking notes...

Thank you for the hints. So, far, he has not approached me again.

This is good to hear. Pleased that he has not approached you lately.

I'm so glad to hear that!