[yakmom]

Hi all. Well, I have been post menopause for 10 years in February,2019. I have been on HRT since Sept.2009, Antidepressants (Lexapro first and now Effexor ER) and antianxiety meds (Lorazepam 1mg twice a day) since April 2010. Not nearly as bad as I was, not by a long shot. I think if there is such a thing as psychotic menopause, I experienced it 2008-2010. Terrible thing.

I have also a dx. of Major Depression, Panic d/o and PTSD(not military related).

Anyway, I don't know where to start, but I still am anxious and depressed. Usually both. I don't know what to do. I've tried therapy and I can't afford it. My Employee's assistance allows 5 visits. I've done that 3 times in the last 8 years.

I live in a rural area and psychiatrists or psych NPs are few and far between. I would like to have a p.doc/NP to just evaluate me and evaluate my medicine. I'm not sure some sort of mood stabilizer isn't called for. I take Neurontin/gabapentin for neuropathy and I've heard it has mood stabilizing effects. Sometimes on a rare day, I can tell it does. I'm not worried or anxious for about 3 hours and those hours are precious. I take it twice a day, about 8am and 4pm.

Any comments are so welcome. Please communicate with me about your experiences. Or just say Hi if you've had any problem with menopause, you don't have to tell me or offer advice. I'd like to know I'm not crazy or alone because my problems began with a panic attack at 3AM on 2/26/09. I went from an assertive professional to a slobbering, crying mess in a matter of weeks. A therapist in Sept.2009 suggested it could be a "bad" menopause. A week later after a visit to my gyn establishing Yes, menopause on HRT. But, they didn't want to want to hear the other. Suggested therapy. I said "A therapist sent me TO you."
My GP is the only one who has listened. Hence, ADs and AAs.
I have no real social support system other than my husband and my sisters. My sisters have their own problems.
Thanks for listening. Hope to hear from some of you. Please.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, yakmom. I still have what I think are hot flashes and I am in my sixties. Comforting thought, huh? At any rate, I just saw your post and want to say "hi" and be supportive. I was diagnosed as bipolar in my forties after I took an antidepressant and became manic. I take a mood stabilizer (Tegretol), antidepressants, and Xanax when needed for anxiety. And I see a therapist every three months.

[*Laurie*]

I was not, in any way, prepared for the sheer HELL of menopause. What is wrong with our society, that no one discusses how seriously bad menopause can be? I thought it meant that periods stop, maybe a few weeks of hot flashes, meh.

What I got instead was years of hot flashes - so bad, I began to isolate. Anxiety/worry/panic that ruined my existence. Nothing helped. Nothing. Tried 15 meds...nothing helped. All the damned meditation, being in the moment (what moment? This moment of living hell?) - all of it, BS.

And so on. Finally, after 7 years I have a measure of stability. Nothing dramatic in the way of stability, though. I do have bipolar disorder, which probably complicated all of it, but menopause itself was the reason for the terror I have been through.

It's great that you have a good GP, but hat about a gyn? A pdoc? I understand that you are in a rural location - is it within reason, though, that you would be able to see specialists? GP's, after all, are not trained to and do not have experience with going into specific areas of medicine as deeply as a specialist does.

[AbladeintheMeadow]

I too just wanted to say hi. I think I'm currently going through menopause...& things started going haywire mentally sometime around the back end of 2013 again I think. It's all such a blur. But that was also the year of my 40th bday. I'm now missing periods; this is my second 60+ day cycle and I'm kinda thinking now there are links between it all. Tho because I feel like I'm relatively young sometimes I think I should see a GP to check. Somehow I don't get around to it. Mainly because I don't like my family knowing I've been to see the GP & orchestrating a day off work when no one is home has proved difficult & too stressful so I haven't.

Anyway hi - thanks for your thread. You aren't alone. Take care.

[yakmom]

Thanks. I'm sorry I'm so long in answering. Forgot I put this post out there. My OB/Gyn doesn't recognize the other symptoms of Meno other than hot flashes and night sweats. AND she's a woman and she has the only Menopause clinic in this state. She's also the chair of the OB/GYN dept at our teaching hospital here. I sought her out thinking she might help me. I'm guessing she hasn't been through this or it was easier for her. I did ask her if she could refer me to a psychiatrist a few years ago and she didn't have any recommendations. My other person that I saw I had been seeing for almost 30 years. Since I was 19 years old. Delivered my only child. He also went the route of "it's all in your head". Well, yeah, it is. No one seems to understand that there really are women out there who have a much more difficult time of it than other. My main thought has always been if there was something out there that made men's penises fall off or turn backwards or something, you betcha they'd be out there finding an answer.