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Old 12-17-2018, 07:40 AM #1
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Trig Asking here... TMI

This is quite embarrassing for me to ask so I'm asking here.. im very nervous about going to my doctor as it is so intimate!!

I was sleeping, when my partner woke me and began to kiss me. We then began to have sex, but I could not understand what we were doing. It was like my brain had completely glitched, I suddenly had no idea what sexual intercourse was and felt I had no idea on what to do. I enjoyed it, it felt good... but I couldn't understand what was happening or how long it was going to last etc..
When we stopped.. I went to the bathroom and I still felt that way while cleaning up for 5-10 minutes or so.
After, I began to cry because it scared me so much, I couldn't explain to him what had just happened and he said maybe I was just still asleep.

I have never experienced anything like this, I'm almost 30 and it really scared me!!!

Should I be concerned? Or is my anxiety playing up and I should forget it?

Thanks in advance

Last edited by bluekoi; 12-17-2018 at 11:09 AM. Reason: Add triggger icon.
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Old 12-17-2018, 08:01 AM #2
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Default Re: Asking here... TMI

Good Morning!

I think it is a good time to see your OBGYN. I am sorry to say that what your partner did, could be considered a sexual offense and your doctor is trained to walk you through the steps to healing your mind and body. Be sure to be firm with your feelings to your partner and tell him you are uncomfortable with what happened. Ask as many questions as you need to and if he is violent in any way, don't hesitate to call an emergency response team (police 911).

Here are other hotlines and crisis resources:

Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish) 800-992-2600
Sexual Assault Hotline (24/7, English & Spanish) 800-223-5001
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE

Please also find time to read about what you are experiencing:

Preventing Interpersonal Violence in Relationships, Part 1

Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence

11 Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse in Relationships
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Old 12-17-2018, 08:11 AM #3
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Default Re: Asking here... TMI

Thank you for the answer!! The strange thing was, I felt completely aware and awake. When we began to have sex, I took my pants off. It was like sex had just disappeared from my memory completely, when we started, it was almost as if I suddenly felt like I had never done it before. I have, I have 3 children.

I'm not sure even how to explain it, just a temporary loss of memory. I'm going to mention it to my doctor.. it's just awkward to explain. Lol.
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Old 12-17-2018, 08:21 AM #4
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Default Re: Asking here... TMI

Thats' ok. But I think we may need to add a trigger warning here. When I wake up, I feel refreshed and sometimes need a cup of coffee to motivate my body, but my mind is awake. Are you taking medications? Has your relationship with your partner moved passed the point of verbal communication.

I highly recommend finding a way to speak with your OBGYN, even if just to visit and say you had sex and leave out the personal backstory. But if your mind was not present, you might also consider speaking to a psychologist, a psychiatrist or seeking a therapist to work with. I am sorry I can't be of more help here. Talk to your current doctor and see what they offer. I also recommend working on your relationship with your partner and researching domestic violence. Yes, I agree, this subject is a little awkward
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Old 12-17-2018, 08:39 AM #5
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Default Re: Asking here... TMI

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zedsdead View Post
This is quite embarrassing for me to ask so I'm asking here.. im very nervous about going to my doctor as it is so intimate!!

I was sleeping, when my partner woke me and began to kiss me. We then began to have sex, but I could not understand what we were doing. It was like my brain had completely glitched, I suddenly had no idea what sexual intercourse was and felt I had no idea on what to do. I enjoyed it, it felt good... but I couldn't understand what was happening or how long it was going to last etc..
When we stopped.. I went to the bathroom and I still felt that way while cleaning up for 5-10 minutes or so.
After, I began to cry because it scared me so much, I couldn't explain to him what had just happened and he said maybe I was just still asleep.

I have never experienced anything like this, I'm almost 30 and it really scared me!!!

Should I be concerned? Or is my anxiety playing up and I should forget it?

Thanks in advance
I've never heard of this before but if it was me i would go to the doctors and i don't think you have any reason to be embarrassed at all . i also dont think your husband did anything wrong . you was awake and participating , he was not aware of what memory problem was going on with you . i hope your doctor can give you a good answer .
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Old 12-17-2018, 08:47 AM #6
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Default Re: Asking here... TMI

I left a violent relationship, have stayed in a women shelter so I do recognize signs. I do want to add, thank you for spreading awareness of DV!!! Its super important!!!
However, this was completely consensual, I was aware of that I was kissing him and the act felt more routine and instinctive for me, like I wasnt sure what it was I was doing, it just felt normal.
Such a horrible experience afterwards, but not during.

I am on medication for anxiety and depression, have been for 2 years or so now. Recently I have been having heart palpitations, I had an ecg done 3 days ago and waiting for my follow up with the doc... maybe this is a sign something is wrong.

I will bring it up with my doc on Wednesday. Thank you for the answers. It was such an odd experience. X
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Old 12-21-2018, 07:06 PM #7
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Default Re: Asking here... TMI

How did it go at the doctors? Hope they could give you some explanations for it. Heart palpitations my be a sign that your anxiety is higher than normal.
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Old 12-22-2018, 12:32 AM #8
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Default Re: Asking here... TMI

Was the ekg testing done before or after this happened to you? Could you have been going through something akin to derealization? How long ago did you give birth to your youngest child?
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Old 12-22-2018, 09:15 PM #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zedsdead View Post
I left a violent relationship, have stayed in a women shelter so I do recognize signs. I do want to add, thank you for spreading awareness of DV!!! Its super important!!!
However, this was completely consensual, I was aware of that I was kissing him and the act felt more routine and instinctive for me, like I wasnt sure what it was I was doing, it just felt normal.
Such a horrible experience afterwards, but not during.

I am on medication for anxiety and depression, have been for 2 years or so now. Recently I have been having heart palpitations, I had an ecg done 3 days ago and waiting for my follow up with the doc... maybe this is a sign something is wrong.

I will bring it up with my doc on Wednesday. Thank you for the answers. It was such an odd experience. X
I am not a MD but is sounds like it could possibly be indicative of a sleep disorder. Possibly related to medication? Or stress? Or just an off night where your body woke up before your brain? Have you heard of "sleep paralysis?" Check it out on Google. I have experienced it several times and it is terrifying. That obviously doesn't fit your description but I mention it as an example of a disturbing thing that can happen with sleep disruption and it is nobody's fault...you emphasized that the sex was consensual. I once took a phone call which woke me out of a deep sleep and I felt like it wasn't really happening. It was bizarre. Perhaps your doc will suggest a sleep study? For now, it seems important to talk it over with your partner and emphasize that you should not be woken up for sex under and circumstances. Hope your MD helps! Good luck and best wishes
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Old 12-22-2018, 09:21 PM #10
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Default Re: Asking here... TMI

Hey guys! My doctors appointment went okay, she ordered more tests including an EEG and CT just to be on the safe side. She said it was most likely due to past trauma and a sign my anxiety is on the rise. My medication got doubled and added an benzo for emergency.
To be honest, I'm feeling better now that I have upped the meds, a little sad because my plan was to be off them soon, but I think I carry too much trauma that needs to be released before I do.

Going to look into therapy of some sort and make my mental health a priority

Thank you again for the replies.
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