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Old 03-11-2019, 10:20 PM #1
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Blush Are "curves" beautiful?

I used to be skinny (except I struggled with belly fat). Now my arms and thighs and everything else are catching up when it comes to "volume."

I used to be size 2 and now I'm...well, I recently couldn't fit into Medium in pants (I'm a bit in denial about this, like maybe it's the brands...[sigh]...hard time coping with the reality, since I tried 3 different brands ).

My mom tells me skinny is what attracts men and I need to lose weight. But when I started to gain weight, some men started turning heads in ways that they never did when I was skinny.

I still want to lose weight for health reasons. But should I not aim to return to size 2 in order to maintain my curves?
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Old 03-11-2019, 11:29 PM #2
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

All men have different types . some like skinny , some like curves . be a weight that makes you happy and that you are comfortable with .
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Old 03-12-2019, 02:10 AM #3
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
All men have different types . some like skinny , some like curves . be a weight that makes you happy and that you are comfortable with .
True...maybe not all men like long hair either (although I have not yet met a man who prefers short hair. I know women who want to cut their hair but their men don't want them to).

If guess being happy and comfortable with oneself is ultimately attractive.
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Old 03-12-2019, 09:16 PM #4
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

I think attractive depends on a combination of a man's taste and how you present yourself. I am by no means skinny. Never have been. Since I was a kid I was picked on for being the fat girl in class.. but I got older and owned it. Styled myself. No it's not healthy and I have health problems that I'm working to fix but anyway.. I've had no shortage of dates. Between long term relationships. And don't let men tell you how to wear your hair or makeup or clothes. Your body your choice!!
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Old 03-13-2019, 06:00 AM #5
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

It's all about personal taste. And although the above posters mean well, it is not just men who are attracted to women. I am a female and personally prefer more fit/slim women. However, I know plenty of people who prefer women with curves.
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Old 03-15-2019, 02:27 AM #6
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

Some people think they are and some don't. As a sexually confused woman I can say I find female curves more physically attractive than men's bodies in general, but with men it's more the physical strength that turns me on. I don't understand why anyone would want to be straight up and down as a woman. But then being grossly overweight I guess isn't attractive in my opinion, although I don't mind it at a lesser extreme in men.

Everyone has their own opinion of what attractive is. You shouldn't worry too much about others' opinions and love yourself regardless of outward appearance because the person you are is more important. Yes we live in a shallow world and men tend to rate 'physical attractiveness' in a woman as more important than we do in men, but a guy won't stick around with a supermodel like woman if she is a horrible person. It might last a short while but he would probably be very insecure about her cheating anyway. It must be a curse to be very attractive physically as your partner would be worried about men hitting on you all the time. Better to look ordinary if you want a successful relationship in my opinion.

And if you are a ***** he won't stick around. Just you do you and forget about others' opinions as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. I think loving yourself is probably much more attractive than anything else. Confidence is apparently sexy, so I would say concentrate on self love regardless of outward looks.
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Old 03-15-2019, 03:26 PM #7
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

Hi Ennie. Great post! Interesting questions!

As far as the external goes, I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some men are attracted to "curves" and some are not. What I think can be dangerous is to conflate our sense of Self or value with our external appearance. The two actually have nothing to do with each other. I have personally known men and women who most people would describe as stunning or incredibly handsome and they were actually deeply insecure and unhappy when I got to know them as friends.

So why do we often conflate external appearance and worth or happiness when they are actually unrelated? Because we live in a consumerist society which tells us so in order to sell us things. You cannot sell someone a product without first convincing the buyer that they need it. How do you convince them that they need it? You tell them they are deficient in some way. Too big? Here's a diet plan and weight loss product and gym membership for you. Too thin? Here's a work-out program and weights and gym membership for you too. Too pale? Here's self-tanner or a tanning salon. Too dark? Here's a bleaching service. Wrinkles? Here's a cosmetic procedure or anti-wrinkle cream. Bumpy armpits? (seriously, that's a thing according to Dove) Here's a special antiperspirant that will smooth them out. Etc Etc On and on it goes causing more and more harm to the self-esteem of humans. At some point, we need to train ourselves to stop listening. At least to some of it.

With regard to my body, I think about health. I want to maintain a certain weight and BP and cholesterol in order to decrease my risk for certain illnesses etc. I also practice daily gratitude and thank my body for the many functions it completes without even so much as a command from me: heart pumping, vision, hearing, synapses firing etc.

I think feeling "beautiful" comes from within....from good character and acts of kindness and helping.

As for you Ennie, I recommend choosing a weight that seems medically healthy for you, monitor your BP, cholesterol etc. Love and honor your Self and you'll find a loving and honorable partner if that is something you desire. Peace to you

Ps. This was a line in a song but I practice it faithfully: DO NOT READ BEAUTY MAGAZINES, THEY WILL ONLY MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY!
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Old 03-16-2019, 02:54 PM #8
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

Beauty is more about what's on the inside than what's on the outside. As far as attracting men, everyone has a type so somebody ought to like bigger women or not care about size.
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Old 03-16-2019, 03:34 PM #9
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

Aim to be healthy, not skinny. As you get older, your body will change and you will put on weight easier.

I have just lost 80lbs, and the BMI index says I need to lose another 40. My body definitely will not lose 40 more pounds, and I donít want to be that skinny. I want to lose three more pounds and then Iíll have let my goal. I sit between a size 8-12 depending how things are made. I used to be a size 22.
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Old 03-25-2019, 05:49 PM #10
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Default Re: Are "curves" beautiful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ennie View Post
I used to be skinny (except I struggled with belly fat). Now my arms and thighs and everything else are catching up when it comes to "volume."

I used to be size 2 and now I'm...well, I recently couldn't fit into Medium in pants (I'm a bit in denial about this, like maybe it's the brands...[sigh]...hard time coping with the reality, since I tried 3 different brands ).

My mom tells me skinny is what attracts men and I need to lose weight. But when I started to gain weight, some men started turning heads in ways that they never did when I was skinny.

I still want to lose weight for health reasons. But should I not aim to return to size 2 in order to maintain my curves?
Hi ennie I don't know what age you are, but as women age, our hormones become imbalanced and that can screw up our metabolism and slow it down.

And, I don't think there is an ideal weight for all women. So your mother is 100% wrong! I can't believe she's shaming you about your weight. That's terrible! Please don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about!

Men each have their own preference for how much a woman weighs. The key is, to find a man who accepts you for the weight you're currently at; that is the guy who is relationship material. The other guys who judge you for your weight, are shallow and not worth your time.

I don't think aiming to become a size 2 again is something you should worry over. Just eat healthy, and find some physical activity to do. Research now says that it's not how much aerobic or anaerobic activity that causes weight loss but how many calories are consumed.

Last year I weight more than 200 pounds despite having fatty tissue liver disease (which causes weight loss) and have a thyroid disease. When my thyroid med dose was changed and I cut out all junk food (so difficult to do but I did it), over the next 14 months, I lost about 50 pounds (without exercising either, mind you). Was it the medication dose change? Possibly. Was it b/c I stopped eating processed junk food including snacks? Possibly. Or, do I have some weird terminal illness doctors haven't caught yet (hopefully not).

My point: don't focus on losing weight to feel better about yourself. Focus on eating better so you FEEL better and before you realize it, you'll have lost weight.

The biggest hurdle women have to overcome is the hormonal changes as we age. Those damn hormones. They are tied with weight gain and weight loss. So, in addition to processed foods which definitely cause weight gain, there are female hormones that cause weight gain: estrogen, testosterone and progesterone. Estrogen creates estradiol is a form of estrogen that decreases as women age. THAT decrease can definitely contribute to weight gain. Estradiol is what regulates a woman's metabolism and when that decreases towards middle age, well, weight loss can become a real challenge.
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