advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 10:38 AM
  #1
Well, I sure do. All of my life. It's still splattered all over the media.

My fiance gets away with having a "gut" and doesn't experience any real lack of confidence over it, whereas if I have a belly and some fat on my body, I feel embarrassed and want to hide it every chance I get!

And soon it will be beach weather. I am now dieting to lose 15 lbs so that I can comfortably wear my bikini again. But I now have dimples (ARGH!) on my legs, not lots, but a couple and I am deeply embarrassed to show them.

I am not obsessed with this, but I still feel the pressure to have a beautiful body, even as I get older, and I feel that men don't have the same kind of pressure, or not as bad, as us women do?

So many men walk around almost proud of their gut (if they have one), and so many women feel embarrassed and terrible about themselves if they're showing a few extra pounds.

I just hate it!

I guess what I am saying is:

I feel that we are expected to be beautiful with a sexy, thin and beautiful body, but not men so much. And women are still very much judged for their looks and their bodies, which makes me feel pressured about having a nice body and figure.

Can anyone here relate to this?

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes

Last edited by Have Hope; Mar 23, 2019 at 02:17 PM..
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43949, Fuzzybear
 
Thanks for this!
Mopey

advertisement
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 05:09 PM
  #2
I guess I killed my own thread.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Mopey
Magnate
 
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey remove
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 yr Member
1,520 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 05:16 PM
  #3
I feel all kinds of pressure to have a beautiful body because I'm a lifelong student of ballet.

But I realized long ago my cause is hopeless. The raw material just isn't there, so I must make do with what I've got.

I do make mighty attempts to keep my weight down, tho.....
Mopey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 05:39 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopey View Post
I feel all kinds of pressure to have a beautiful body because I'm a lifelong student of ballet.

But I realized long ago my cause is hopeless. The raw material just isn't there, so I must make do with what I've got.

I do make mighty attempts to keep my weight down, tho.....

Oh my gosh... I can SO relate to that because I used to dance for many years! My mother teaches dance too, so I grew up around dance and lots of tiny weeny little dancers bodies.

I gained a bunch of weight last winter, which sent me into a tiny bit of a depression. Not hugely, but I got a wee bit upset with myself.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
downandlonely
Legendary
 
downandlonely's Avatar
downandlonely has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
10.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 05:41 PM
  #5
My body is the opposite of a dancer's or a models. I have a lot of curves. I am a bit overweight now and would like to lose some. But I don't think only women have insecurities about their bodies. I have met men who also feel insecure.
downandlonely is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Mopey
Magnate
 
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey remove
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 yr Member
1,520 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 07:08 PM
  #6
Absolutely.

My husband is a small wiry type who has been incredibly disciplined about working out for most of his life, and he's still working out and active, but as he's gotten on in years he has begun fretting about his "spare tire" which he feels is due to lack of muscle tone, because he stopped doing sit-ups after developing Irritable Bowel Syndrome. He's afraid if he does them he'll start cramping again, and I don't blame him.

But he's not happy about that "spare tire" at all.
Mopey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 11:09 PM
  #7
Thank you both! Yes I suppose I don’t realize that men go through similar?

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 24, 2019 at 09:14 AM
  #8
In my original post, I meant to more so get at the fact that I feel pressured by society to be beautiful.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Mopey
Magnate
 
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey remove
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 yr Member
1,520 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2019 at 01:40 PM
  #9
Well, the pressures from society are everywhere, aren't they? Any particular thing that particularly pressures you?
Mopey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Anonymous43949
Guest
Anonymous43949 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 25, 2019 at 03:03 PM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
And women are still very much judged for their looks and their bodies, which makes me feel pressured about having a nice body and figure.

Can anyone here relate to this?
I agree. Especially when you are the heaviest among your friends or siblings. You go to the snack table and feel "watched" when you grab another cookie.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Mopey
Magnate
 
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey remove
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 yr Member
1,520 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2019 at 03:55 PM
  #11
Also reading magazines or online where women are constantly referred to in terms of their appearance. "She lost 100 pounds and now she looks GORGEOUS" and so on. Or criticism if they "haven't aged well".
Mopey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43949
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2019 at 06:05 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopey View Post
Well, the pressures from society are everywhere, aren't they? Any particular thing that particularly pressures you?
I don't know how to multi-quote on here, but I suppose it's more of a general feeling and sentiment.

I hear other men talk, and mainly what they say are "she's so hot", "wow, look at her", "what a hot body" kind of thing. So I feel pressured by men in our society to be "hot" and "sexy" according to men's standards, you know what I mean? Even my own fiance will comment and say things like "you're the best looking woman in the room" as though it matters or something. He doesn't care if I have a few extra pounds and says I look great, so I don't feel pressured by him necessarily, but just by men in general and our society that focuses so much on weight, thinness and women's looks.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2019 at 06:06 PM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopey View Post
Also reading magazines or online where women are constantly referred to in terms of their appearance. "She lost 100 pounds and now she looks GORGEOUS" and so on. Or criticism if they "haven't aged well".
YES, exactly!!!

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
BreakForTheLight
Grand Member
BreakForTheLight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 852
8 yr Member
211 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 26, 2019 at 02:30 PM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
In my original post, I meant to more so get at the fact that I feel pressured by society to be beautiful.
Yep, me too. Not just body, but face and hair as well. I don't like the feeling of make up on my skin so really the most I'll wear is mascara, and only when I'm going out. I definitely feel like I am not pretty enough when it's like every other woman around me can manage to at least make their skin look more even with make up, have that glowy look. I think that's a problem most guys don't have
I also don't wear my hair down very often (I either get too hot with it all around me in summer, or in winter when it's cold my hair is just a mess) and I'm very aware of the look that gives me
BreakForTheLight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 26, 2019 at 02:34 PM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopey View Post
Well, the pressures from society are everywhere, aren't they? Any particular thing that particularly pressures you?
magazines, media, social media, movies, tv shows, entertainment industry... sometimes the list feels endless.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43949, Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 26, 2019 at 05:41 PM
  #16
Thank you both!

It's honestly nice to know or feel I am not alone. And I know I'm not. Many women across the globe are always concerned about their bodies and looks.

SIGH. I guess it's just something we can never escape, though I wish it weren't there.

I know I will grow old worrying about how I look.... and I want to look super attractive for my husband, even when I'm older.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
BreakForTheLight
Aviza
Magnate
 
Aviza's Avatar
Aviza Calm
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
10 yr Member
86 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 26, 2019 at 09:36 PM
  #17
Totally from age 7 on I cared about my body, how others viewed it. Mom always said if only you were thin you'd be a knockout.

__________________
Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.
Daughter: 20
Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs.
Aviza is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 26, 2019 at 09:49 PM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aviza View Post
Totally from age 7 on I cared about my body, how others viewed it. Mom always said if only you were thin you'd be a knockout.

Aw, now see that isn't very nice. I feel for you. I SO wish weight weren't an issue in our society.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 28, 2019 at 07:16 PM
  #19
I’ve experienced this too. It sucks..

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:35 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.