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Default Mar 29, 2020 at 10:28 AM
  #401
Doing Okay today. Have a long to-do list.

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Default Mar 29, 2020 at 09:21 PM
  #402
hi girls,
this virus is putting a crimp in our projects around the house, we did get the concrete all done and it looks great, my 3 yr old grandson gave it his stamp of approval, he can ride his bike all over now.
the closet got built and needs paint.
We are just waiting for the contractor to be able to start the rest of the renovations.
The sky is still gray and cloudy when is the sun coming out.
touch back soon, I hope you all are doing ok, Tams

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Default Mar 31, 2020 at 08:56 AM
  #403
eagerly awaiting a call from a friend

it will be so good to hear from her (well, hear from anyone). she's going to introduce me to her daughter- wanted to do it face to face, but for obvious reasons..
 
 
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 06:10 AM
  #404
I'm waking up slowly. Looking forward to the sun coming up today. We're supposed to have sunshine. I hope I can open my slider and get fresh air. I just want to relax today. Hope everyone is doing well.

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Default Apr 02, 2020 at 02:44 AM
  #405
in case you don't follow my journal updates...sending well wishes to everyone! *hugs

I've been on a break from the forums for awhile and might not stay long now either because of x, y, and z, but I have finally had that appointment with my GP and things are finally starting to progress in the sense that he's really getting a better idea of me and with what's going on. He was concerned about my moods specifically, so we spent a good amount of time discussing this and I recounted my latest elevated mood episode which I was finishing up as I spoke with him. He asked me "do you ever do anything reckless like driving at high speeds or spending a lot of money that you don't have?" I said, well, no. I don't do anything really reckless like that. "what about (and now I can't remember the exact wording but like) writing excessive or lengthy emails or messages?" and I said, "well, perhaps I did in the past, but now I seem to have that in control. If someone lets me and is receptive of longer messages, I do that, but if I get the sense that they don't want to talk or if I'm just getting to know someone, I try to keep it short. He said, "well then you don't have hypomania". I am relieved in the sense that I don't have to take more medications and that I can enjoy the highs that I do get, but I'm also just still stumped by what this is that I DO have. I mean, these are abnormal highs for me...or these are not my typical moods and more elevated than just having a good day. It's odd.

Oh and then now we are into the topic of marital help. I'd mentioned that I was having some issues and kinda wanted him to advise couple's counseling. This was after the appointment though, so he couldn't speak with my husband for his side of the story. He messaged me back asking if we could do another session. Well, turns out, hubby is refusing to talk to him about this. I told this to doctor tonight. Will hopefully see what he says tomorrow.

Meanwhile, it's strange, but hubby was very affectionate and comforting-like tonight and we actually cuddled. (my anger from the past few days finally subsiding some but we still have issues). It was really nice and comfortable, though it makes me kinda wonder if it's just his way of keeping me from pursuing outside help for us. I really think it's needed though.

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Default Apr 02, 2020 at 04:00 PM
  #406
I'm glad to say it's been downright boring the last 24 hours. After months of drama I'm taking a breath. I had a wonderful day with my best friend yesterday. She and her husband are going through some stuff and he has been insanely jealous, particularly of the time that she and I spend together. He swipes her phone and we're pretty sure he has malware on there now.

But, I'm going to go run, do some P90X or Insanity and go do a test flight on a bird coming out of the shop. Well, the three airlines that wanted to hire me are on hold, but I'm in a decent place and it's stable.

I'm in a happy place for once so Southern Belle is out like a scout!
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Default Apr 02, 2020 at 11:34 PM
  #407
I'm doing Okay this morning. I'm hopeful for a good day.

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Default Apr 04, 2020 at 10:47 AM
  #408
not doing great.

suicidal and stressed

mainly by voices, but also people being annoying
 
 
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Default Apr 05, 2020 at 03:03 AM
  #409
I'm tired this morning. Other than that, I'm not sure how I feel. Maybe a little stressed cause I can't sleep.

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Default Apr 05, 2020 at 09:22 AM
  #410
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deilla View Post
I'm tired this morning. Other than that, I'm not sure how I feel. Maybe a little stressed cause I can't sleep.


I didn't sleep either- I hear you on that one!. hope you get to sleep soon
 
 
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Default Apr 05, 2020 at 09:22 AM
  #411
I am existing today.

not really doing anything with myself and I don't even have what I want for dinner in the house so have to have something else.

so yeah blah
 
 
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Default Apr 05, 2020 at 11:37 AM
  #412
I forgot to mention yesterday that I was going to start Gabapentin in the night. Well, here's how it went.

Well, I tried the Gabapentin last night and while it still took me a minute to fall asleep initially (got in bed at 12:45am, but didn't fall asleep until after 1:15am), it did help me stay sleepy and relaxed throughout the night...although I did have earbuds in as well for the first half of the night, but I don't think that mattered as I slept well after...and now I'm up and awake since 10:30am and feeling, well, better! So, yea...oh and no side effects (i think. i hope)
Now just to see how it will work for my anxiety. I'll be slowly tapering off of the Clonazepam now too.

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Default Apr 06, 2020 at 12:12 AM
  #413
I'm not doing well this morning. I've been stress eating. I'm very anxious. Can't sleep.

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Default Apr 06, 2020 at 05:04 PM
  #414
Incredibly lonely and scared I'll be alone forever. (Social anxiety/agoraphobia)
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Default Apr 06, 2020 at 07:04 PM
  #415
I took a couple of days off of the computer and just worked out. Easy peasy flight for some pattern work, landing just before a thunderstorm. Hand flew the approach to a nothing but butter landing - no autopilot because I'm a masochist who constantly tests her skill.
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Default Apr 07, 2020 at 12:08 AM
  #416
I'm stressing a little this morning. And I'm a bit sad.

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Default Apr 08, 2020 at 08:17 AM
  #417
I recognize the fact I need a deecent meal.

these last few days I've just not been filled up (so end up on the junkfood)

maybe tonight?

I also sepnt the majority of yesterday night having flashbacks, so that wasn't cool.

but I feel okay. I thought that because of what happened today would be stressfull, but it's fine..
 
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Default Apr 09, 2020 at 12:48 AM
  #418
I'm irritated and annoyed this morning.

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Default Apr 10, 2020 at 07:05 PM
  #419
Another fun and wonderful stupid fight with the spousal unit last night. My day went long and I forgot to text. I get home and I'm the most selfish person in the world. For the last three months I respond to his criticisms and accusations with a bland monotone while I never take my eyes off of the TV. What a role reversal, the wife sits on the couch after a long day at work, watching a show while the husband rants about about house chores. The husband gesticulates wildly with a raised voice while the wife lets out a frustrated sigh and speaks in a monotone.
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Default Apr 11, 2020 at 01:37 PM
  #420
Did some art today, so I feel pretty good. I plan to meditate later.

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