advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Crazygrl882
Member
 
Crazygrl882's Avatar
Crazygrl882 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 86
8 yr Member
Default May 28, 2020 at 08:43 PM
  #1
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months. Everything has been amazing. We get along better than I’ve ever got along with anyone. He’s so loving and I’ve filed for disability (it was finally approved but he met me and I had no income but said he’d support me), he leaves me love notes, tells me I’m his soul mate, introduced me to his family. I feel like he’s my future husband. Everything has made me happier than I’ve ever been before and I’m a divorced 37 year old and he’s 30 but very mature and has a great job although he’s away for 4 days a week at a remote site so we see each other 4 nights and 3 days and he sometimes works overtime. He tells me “when” we get married. Stuff like that. We moved in together and have been so happy.

Then last weekend he wanted to talk to me. When he comes home for the weekend we have sex every night/day. Just once a day. We have been having sex once a day since our second date. We have spent some weeks together and have had sex every day. He seems happy with it and I thought things were good. Well out of the complete blue he told me he doesn’t have as high of a sex drive as me. He said he is honestly ok with just cuddling and kissing and NEVER having sex. I got upset. I felt like a monster and so unattractive I started crying. He said he is attracted to me but that he’s never had a high sex drive. He said he was always looking for love, not sex. Well I think sex shows love. I fantasize all week for him to come home to have sex. I guess he doesn’t. I said what are you saying. No sex, how much sex? He said maybe once or twice a week. Granted we don’t see each other often so I get so excited. I understand he gets tired from work and the long commute so maybe the day he gets home we won’t have sex. But then can we have sex the next day? Unfortunately after our talk he had to leave for work the next day. He said he hoped it wasn’t a deal breaker. I told him I love him so much and want to work it out with him. I said I don’t need sex every day but yeah, 2 out of the 4 nights would be good. But now I wonder does he even want to. He seems to enjoy it when we do but now I think back to all this sex we had and I feel like he did it all for me and didn’t want to and that’s why he had to talk about it. I can survive with less. I have this problem. I want to satisfy the man I’m with and I think daily sex will do that so I guess I’m partially messed up in a way so not doing it every day will be ok. I don’t know. We’ll see what happens this weekend. He’ll be home two days and then is working 10 straight days away. So will he make a move. I think I’m going to leave it up to him for now and see what happens. Does that seem right? I don’t want to pressure him to do something he doesn’t want. My anxiety went up from a 5 which I usually have to like a 20. I haven’t eaten I can’t do household chores. I am dying. I’m taking my klonopin. It does nothing. I’m drinking wine and it does nothing. I made an appointment with my pdoc because i seem to be having a problem. I couldn’t even sleep the other day. I was crying and up for hours. I thought he was the one. Finally I thought I met the one. Then this. I need sex to feel close to my partner. And to feel wanted. It’s important. I am dying of anxiety. It’s so bad I feel nauseous and can’t seem to do anything. We never have gotten in a fight before. This wasn’t even a fight I just think if I’m going to chose this guy for my life partner will I be happy? We can talk and maybe he’ll have sex when he isn’t quite in the mood and then get in the mood. He enjoys it or so it seems when we do it. Now I’m all flustered and the other night I was so upset I felt almost suicidal. I don’t think it’s that big a deal but I just can’t feel unattractive to my partner. It will kill me in the long run..... I thought I met the one. Now I don’t know what to do. I have so many other issues I guess this one sent me over the deep end. I’ve been struggling all week and he’s away and has been calling and is so sweet and says he loves me forever but now I feel I lost my trust. Now I’m saying words with no meaning. I thought I found my future husband. Which I think he wants to be. I think he’s happy I said I accept him when he said the sex thing but I’m a mess. I just want to go back to daily beautiful sex and love because that’s the way I know love best I guess. Maybe I’m messed up. He loves to cuddle and kiss and tell me he loves me. What am I complaining about really!!!! I don’t know. Anxiety is at 20 out of 10. No meds are helping. I feel like I’m dying. I feel like maybe I’d be better off not going on. No one is the right fit for me. I’m an outcast with no right fit. I’m seeing my pdoc Monday and therapist Tuesday. Hope that helps. I’m beyond help. I just want to check into the hospital. This really messed me up.

__________________
Current diagnosis
Schizoaffective
GAD
PTSD
Agoraphobia
Fibromyalgia
Crazygrl882 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Travelinglady, unaluna

advertisement
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 29, 2020 at 06:20 AM
  #2
Has he ever seen a doctor that specializes in sexual function for men? I dont know if that would be a urologist or not but some sort of doctor?

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Travelinglady
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is feeling tired.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 47,791 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
22.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 29, 2020 at 09:09 AM
  #3
That does seem to be unusual for a relatively young man. Although he's not that interested in the sex act, he does seem willing to engage in it with you. It's more the woman who usually gives sex to get love.

Would he be willing to go to a counselor with you? It seems to really be upsetting you, so it would be helpful to hear more about his thinking and background.
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:49 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.