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Old 02-17-2019, 07:33 AM #11
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Default Re: A Bad/Wrong Decision?

Methinks that your boss is concerned about his status. That's just me looking at this from a distance. It might have been a good or a bad idea to talk to HR - or both at the same time. That's life.


One way to approach it is to assure him that this just happened because he was out of the office and you will never go "over his head" again... that takes care of his status concern. He will probably calm down.


It's also the job of the senior boss to take care of your line manager's concerns - involve him in the ongoing discussion - smooth his ruffled feathers, make sure that he doesn't feel side-lined.


Sounds a bit like your anxiety needs addressing internally. Hey, everyone makes mistakes... I bet your boss and his boss have made a few mistakes in their lives, and in the future you may manage staff who occasionally put you in a difficult position yourself.

You sound very professional.
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Old 02-17-2019, 07:38 AM #12
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Default Re: A Bad/Wrong Decision?

Quote:
Originally Posted by saidso View Post
Methinks that your boss is concerned about his status. That's just me looking at this from a distance. It might have been a good or a bad idea - or probably both at the same time.


Perhaps one way to approach it is to assure him that this just happened because he was out of the office and you will never go "over his head" again... that takes care of his status concern. He will probably calm down.


It's also the job of the senior boss to take care of your line manager's concerns - involve him in the ongoing discussion - smooth his ruffled feathers, make sure that he doesn't feel side-lined.


Sounds a bit like your anxiety need addressing internally. Hey, everyone makes mistakes... I bet your boss and his boss have made a few in their lifetime.
Thank you!

Yes, it may have been BOTH a good AND a bad idea to talk to HR.

My boss DOES know that I didn't mean or intend to go above OR around him.

I even point blank said this directly to HR in just that way: "I do not mean to go above or around my boss, but I need someone to talk to about this and he is out of the office".

I made a point of telling both HR and the CEO that my boss is the best boss I've ever had.

I don't know what more I can do to smooth this over with my boss. I've already told him I now know to bring an issue first to him and not to HR.

I suppose on Tue I can also inform him: You know, when I initially went to HR about this, I had NO intention of it going to the CEO with a follow-up meeting. I didn't know it would be taken to that level.

AND YES! I need to work on my anxiety for sure. I have an anxiety disorder.
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Old 02-17-2019, 02:39 PM #13
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Default Re: A Bad/Wrong Decision?

Can anyone else help with this issue? I could really use the support right now and am trying to feel better about it.. or at least relatively OK under the circumstances.
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Old 02-17-2019, 03:49 PM #14
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I guess i dont understand how you can devise new strategy for your clients if you havent properly analyzed how your previously recommended strategy succeeded. Isnt it an iterative process, not a "one and done"?

Or are you saying that is someone else's job? Or that there are parts of the analytic process that are needed for strategizing, but are otherwise unnecessary (and time-consuming) as far as you know? Are there ways to mechanize the analytic process?

I guess im looking at ways you can offer your boss solutions to the problem you presented. I always heard, never bring your boss a problem without having a solution for it. So, what is the BUSINESS problem here, not your dislike of your task.
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Old 02-17-2019, 05:04 PM #15
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Thanks Una. I guess thatís partially helpful but not really. I am meeting with my boss to come up with solutions as Iíve stated. The rest I donít feel like explaining because this thread is not about what my position is. Itís about whether I did the wrong thing by talking to HR about my burnout. And itís not that I donít like the task which Iíve already stated. Thanks for trying.
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Old 02-17-2019, 06:10 PM #16
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Golden,
Going to HR before talking to my boss is not a choice I would have made, but I may not have done anything at all. I think it was your anxiety getting the best of you, but it seems all this has led to discussion about doing things differently which is positive. You know we are only human and no human makes 100% right decisions all the time. Just try to take this in as a learning experience. I think part of this decision was because you have only been in a workplace for a short amount of time. Be kind to yourself. This,too, will pass and in the end, you may likely make your colleagues time better spent. I know it looks like the crap is just piling up, but this is life. You do have the skills to see this all through. Take a big breath!! You CAN get through the muck life is throwing at you. Make sure you are taking time for self care.
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Old 02-17-2019, 06:29 PM #17
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Default Re: A Bad/Wrong Decision?

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Golden,
Going to HR before talking to my boss is not a choice I would have made, but I may not have done anything at all. I think it was your anxiety getting the best of you, but it seems all this has led to discussion about doing things differently which is positive. You know we are only human and no human makes 100% right decisions all the time. Just try to take this in as a learning experience. I think part of this decision was because you have only been in a workplace for a short amount of time. Be kind to yourself. This,too, will pass and in the end, you may likely make your colleagues time better spent. I know it looks like the crap is just piling up, but this is life. You do have the skills to see this all through. Take a big breath!! You CAN get through the muck life is throwing at you. Make sure you are taking time for self care.
Thank you so much, Deejay. That's helpful. Though it wasn't my anxiety that got the best of me, it was the high burnout factor that drove me to talk to HR the most.

I will try to focus on the positive: that I am now meeting with my boss to improve things, and yes, it could improve things for my whole team if we can come up a good solution.

Self-care is most important! My anxiety over this is getting the best of me now -- just took my anti-anxiety pill. It helps!

Yes, I must remember that this too shall pass..... I am also a perfectionist who had overly critical parents. When I make a mistake that is big like this one and really ticks someone off, I get really upset with myself and down on myself for not having done the so-called "right" thing. I beat myself up over it.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:56 AM #18
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Default Re: A Bad/Wrong Decision?

The culture is different at different companies, but thank goodness your boss seems to like you, because going over your bossís head used to be considered professional suicide. Supervisors are busy and sometimes you have to keep trying to raise an issue. I used to email my otherwise unapproachable boss with status reports of how things were going in my department. Then when I wanted something important, she was more likely to listen.
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Old 02-18-2019, 07:34 AM #19
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Originally Posted by luvyrself View Post
The culture is different at different companies, but thank goodness your boss seems to like you, because going over your bossís head used to be considered professional suicide. Supervisors are busy and sometimes you have to keep trying to raise an issue. I used to email my otherwise unapproachable boss with status reports of how things were going in my department. Then when I wanted something important, she was more likely to listen.
Thanks!

I have a feeling that the end result would not have occurred if I had only gone to my boss about this issue.
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Old 02-18-2019, 08:31 AM #20
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Default Re: A Bad/Wrong Decision?

I think your boss will get over it given time. He probably had a nasty shock and is still reacting to that with his ego chattering away in threat mode. "Is this a challenge to my authority." I can imagine that a lot of the men who I've worked with would just say to him "sorry buddy, mistake!" over a pint and that would be the end of it. Women worry more (huge generalisation) but I've seen guys do the "sorry buddy, mistake" routine successfully, and I'm incapable of doing that myself.

Can you tell yourself that mistakes are OK!!! As in, "I'm human and to achieve anything we are going to fall off the bicycle before we learn to ride it". Normal, no big deal.


Be pleasant to your boss, that's all you owe him. And know that one day if you are a boss, you may be put in the exact same situation.
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