[sarahsweets]

You gals rock-seriously. I have not worked in like 17 years. I always worked prior to that. I first stopped when my second daughter was always getting sick in daycare. I had my 6 year old son and 16 month old in daycare and I felt like I was missing out but also there is only so many times you can call out of work with a sick kid before they just dont care anymore. And there is only so many times you can call out with a bipolar episode and crying before they think you are crazy. I had my last child when my son was 7 and older daughter was 3.5. I lost it after the baby came and ended up in the hospital. I was suicidal and cutting deeply and badly. I went through a year of agoraphobia and I applied for and have been on disability ever since.

Many of you know I am tossing some career ideas around now. I actually have an interview with my district for subbing. We always have a need for subs so its possible I could get a lot of work.
I feel like no one gives you working ladies enough props. You do not need to have children to deserve these props either. You work all kinds of hours and then come home to your second "job" of taking care of your home, your personal life, all those doc visits, errands, shopping. Its very much like having an unpaid, unappreciated second job.

I always compare myself to working ladies like I have no right to complain or have my own issues because I only deal with homelife-no boss or deadlines or office politics. I am getting better at not feeling that way. Many times I have had working women tell my my job is as hard as, even harder than just working which I disagree with. I am not fishing here or downplaying my importance but its one thing to be accountable to a partner or your kids and its another to be accountable to those things AND a boss, coworkers, company and be financially beholden because you need your job. And sometimes people downplay a working single woman with or without kids as if her life is peaches and cream because she has no kids or partner to deal with. We are all troopers and rockstars in my book.

[TishaBuv]

I worked retail full time before I got married. Like you, I was then a stay at home mom until my kids were pretty much grown. I could have done more with work during then, but I was an emotional wreck. I didn’t try to take on a job for those same fears you mentioned.

Five years ago I got licensed in a field where I could do as much or little as I wanted. I’ve done as little as I wanted, lol, due to still being an emotional wreck and fear to take on even more stress and possibly crash and burn at the job.

I have one foot in the door and one out right now as far as work goes. Whatever I have done for the job, though, has been successful.

Don’t compare yourself to us working moms. I would trade places with you and stay home if I could. Live your life the way you enjoy it. That’s what matters the most. ❤️

[divine1966]

Do not compare yourself to others, we all have our lives.

But your post did bring tears to my eyes. Thank you for saying all that.

I was only married briefly in young age and only recently married again at age 50 so I spend my entire adult life (until now) single and on one hand I always worked and often more than one job because I love working but also because I never had no one to pay my bills, never moved back home, never lived with parents and no one ever paid my bills. It was either work full time and sometimes take a second job on or be destitute. Not a good choice

Somebody called me pish-posh on this site because I mentioned i travel a lot and I buy nice things and spend money on stuff like theater etc yeah But I can do that because I work a ton and have nice income due to hard work. Money don’t grow on trees.

Honestly I am tired. I love my job but two hours commute a day in traffic about kill the joy and I am not interested in changing jobs. So I’d maybe quit if I could or didn’t need a pension. But I’d have to really change my life style as I have no idea how people live on one income. My husband makes good money, a bit more than me but he pays spousal support to his ex who never worked and still doesn’t. And it’s a lot. So I’ll keep on working. Until I retire.

We all have our lives, sometimes things are a necessity and sometimes a choice but mostly combination of both

Thank you again for kind words.

[healingme4me]

I'm there in the don't compare echo chamber. Work is a necessity. I hadn't married wealth so no spousal support here. Dedicated to survival for myself and my kids. I'd initially been judged harshly for taking the first position in the specific department that I did. I had to try to balance little to no community style support(great friends neighbors or family to watch my kids for me) with my need to find a job, something, anything. This field isn't exactly disappearing like so many do. Juggled income streams and did what I had to do before they were all school aged. Then one thing led to another and because of my work ethic and degree I do share office space, kind of, with the director of my department.
Some days though...grrr. :\ Hasn't been easy.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I'm there in the don't compare echo chamber. Work is a necessity. I hadn't married wealth so no spousal support here. Dedicated to survival for myself and my kids. I'd initially been judged harshly for taking the first position in the specific department that I did. I had to try to balance little to no community style support(great friends neighbors or family to watch my kids for me) with my need to find a job, something, anything. This field isn't exactly disappearing like so many do. Juggled income streams and did what I had to do before they were all school aged. Then one thing led to another and because of my work ethic and degree I do share office space, kind of, with the director of my department.
Some days though...grrr. :\ Hasn't been easy.

Hugs.

I know it’s OT but you don’t need to marry into wealth to get spousal support. My husband is RN, he has a nice income but it’s not wealth. He pays his ex 1k a month. We have 4 more years of it.

The reason being they were married close to 30 years and she almost never worked. Towards the end of their marriage she refused to get even part time job.

She wanted alimony until SS age but judge gave her limited number of years. My husband has been RN only last few years of their marriage, prior to that he always struggled supporting her and two kids on a pretty low income. Judge didn’t care. Spousal support was awarded based on what he was making at the time of divorce. So one doesn’t need to be married to wealth to collect alimony

Didn’t mean to hijack this thread. But people sometimes assume that only wealthy pay alimony. Nope, if you work and they don’t, you will pay if judge decides

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Hugs.


I know it’s OT but you don’t need to marry into wealth to get spousal support. My husband is RN, he has a nice income but it’s not wealth. He pays his ex 1k a month. We have 4 more years of it.


The reason being they were married close to 30 years and she almost never worked. Towards the end of their marriage she refused to get even part time job.


She wanted alimony until SS age but judge gave her limited number of years. My husband has been RN only last few years of their marriage, prior to that he always struggled supporting her and two kids on a pretty low income. Judge didn’t care. Spousal support was awarded based on what he was making at the time of divorce. So one doesn’t need to be married to wealth to collect alimony


Didn’t mean to hijack this thread. But people sometimes assume that only wealthy pay alimony. Nope, if you work and they don’t, you will pay if judge decides

I was only married 8 years. And there was no way staying the extra 2 years would have kept both sanity and safety. At that, it would be 6 of one, half a dozen of the other with offsetting child support or alimony. Had been a stay at home then picked up a part time job just to open up a small savings account as what was his was his not what's mine is ours towards that tail end with him. As I check the balance of what was in arreas with child support, it's at least gone down a few grand as he's been back to an on the books paying job instead of whoever in that former job scenario decided under the table was a good thing those couple of years that this household went without seeing a dime.

I get that I generalized a lifestyle regarding alimony wasn't trying to paint you under the pish posh life that others had judged you on. But I really didn't marry wealth nor did I want to. Naively believed that a modest man would be a better suit for me. Which on some levels is true. Forgive me, I stumbled upon a photo recently of him while digging through my own archives for my uncles desire to pull together a video collage. Was better times for my exh back then for sure. Addictions aged him something fiercely.