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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 11:57 AM
  #1
I posted this is in the work gripes thread, but I'd like some feedback from PC members on this topic.

Thank you, and please bare with me as this may be long!

Here's my original post:

I'm a little pissed off about something, but I have to let it go, in understanding that this is the kind of crap that happens at work. But really, here we go again?? Seriously?

We have company meetings periodically whereby kudos are given to those who have worked hard and/or achieved something big. Awards or gift cards are given to those who are nominated for achievement recognition.

Well, I had achieved something pretty major. My boss told me he would mention it in the next company meeting. We had a talk about it the day before, and I mentioned again the specifics around those achievements.

Well, when it came to my boss's turn to speak about our team and to give a shout out to specific members, he mentioned me and one of my smaller achievements, but he didn't even mention the biggest and most important of all. I got a client's website to rank on page 1 of Google for a very high volume search term (74,000 searches/month) that they had lost ranking for a year ago, contributing to a major loss of web traffic and subsequently revenue for the last year. Well, my boss didn't even mention this part!!!!! And I had even reminded him of it the day before!

Now, my colleague who was just promoted had been on this same client account before me, and he did not resolve that ranking loss himself. Nor did he bring in more revenue and traffic for this client, like I have achieved. So I am thinking that this was purely political on my boss's part, to avoid any conflict. Not only that but potentially it shows favoritism and is unprofessional, which concerns me a little.

So I am upset that the acknowledgement was seriously watered down. That was a big deal, to regain that one ranking, which now has brought traffic and revenue near to its level from last year. The website has struggled for an entire year with massive revenue and traffic losses, and I am helping to resolve that now. This colleague is also friends with my boss & drove him to the airport the other day.

I guess what upsets me the most is that this is a pattern in my life whereby bosses don't want to acknowledge, celebrate and nurture my talents and successes. In fact, many bosses have tried to squash my success. It really angers me. And I feel my current boss is doing something similar.

I may approach him next week to casually ask him why he did not mention this ranking gain. I won't be confrontational at all, but I want to ask him and let him know that it did not slip my attention.

Luckily, I had thought to inform the company CEO myself of this achievement prior to this meeting. If my boss won't celebrate or acknowledge it, then I will have to toot my own horn. A hard lesson I've had to learn in the work environment.


I should also mention that my boss himself worked on this client account before too, before I came on board. He has also been assisting with it over the last year, trying to resolve the traffic and revenue loss and he has not been successful at it himself.

So the question I have is this:

When an employee is intelligent, effective, successful and efficient in their jobs, WHY is it that so many bosses feel SO incredibly threatened by that?

I have run up against this again and again in many different work environments.

I feel it largely has to do with their own insecurities and that they fear or worry they may not be as smart or as successful as I am.

I am not egotistical at all -- in fact, I am the complete opposite and constantly doubt myself AND my abilities.

But I always seem to overcome each challenge presented to me, and I do succeed in my work. So with each new success, it helps me to know that in fact, I AM smart and I CAN be a big success at work.

But WHY can't my bosses just recognize me for my talents & successes????????

WHAT is their problem exactly? WHY does this happen again and again and again to me???????

What do you do when your boss won't recognize you???? Do I have to cowtow to my boss and make him look good and me not look as good?

What do you do?????

Last edited by Anonymous40643; Apr 13, 2019 at 12:10 PM..
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 12:24 PM
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Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
When an employee is intelligent, effective, successful and efficient in their jobs, WHY is it that so many bosses feel SO incredibly threatened by that?
But isn't it obvious? They don't want you to be successful. They don't want you to show them up. They don't see you as an equal human being to them. They see your successes as being dependent on them. As if they are better human beings than you are.. a higher level entitled to always be in charge and YOU always be an employee.

It isn't about merit.

One of my bosses is 50% less credentialed than I am. He doesn't hold the degrees that I do. What he does hold... is an absolute belief that he as a human is better qualified than me to be in charge, no matter that the merit goes to me.

Knowing this you have a choice... realize that merit means nothing and be happy just doing the basics of the job or start looking into starting a business of your own.
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
But isn't it obvious? They don't want you to be successful. They don't want you to show them up. They don't see you as an equal human being to them. They see your successes as being dependent on them. As if they are better human beings than you are.. a higher level entitled to always be in charge and YOU always be an employee.

It isn't about merit.

One of my bosses is 50% less credentialed than I am. He doesn't hold the degrees that I do. What he does hold... is an absolute belief that he as a human is better qualified than me to be in charge, no matter that the merit goes to me.

Knowing this you have a choice... realize that merit means nothing and be happy just doing the basics of the job or start looking into starting a business of your own.

Thank you, Emily! I appreciate your reply and for reading my long post!

My current boss most certainly is better qualified than me to be the boss. That's what I don't get?

I don't want his job, but I do think he's threatened by me and worries that I could eventually take his job? That my CEO may see that I could potentially lead the group?

This is not the first time my boss has neglected to tell the higher ups of my successes.

I brought several to his attention previously, and he didn't tell the CEO or his own boss above him. I had to tell both of them myself. And thank God I did.

I am really starting to worry about the relationship I have with my boss, the underlying tension and about what's really going on underneath all the niceties and professional facade.

I feel or worry he has ulterior motives to undermine me.

My boss has done some underhanded things already to me. So I am not coming out of nowhere with that.
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 12:47 PM
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Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
Thank you, Emily! I appreciate your reply and for reading my long post!

My current boss most certainly is better qualified than me to be the boss. That's what I don't get?
There is also the idea that if he doesn't give you credit, he gets the credit.
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
There is also the idea that if he doesn't give you credit, he gets the credit.

OMG, I hadn't thought of that. You're SO right.
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 01:37 PM
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Well, when it came to my boss's turn to speak about our team and to give a shout out to specific members, he mentioned me and one of my smaller achievements, but he didn't even mention the biggest and most important of all.
If it is NORMAL practice to mention ALL achievents.....why don't you just casually ask him why the big accomplishment wasn't mentioned since you had ALL over time tried to accomplish this. Maybe something like "wow this company has work years to achieve this goal I am surprised you didn't mention it"

Sometimes I found that just straight forward addressing something is usually the best way for me to resolve what is bothering me. In my case it didn't fix the problem but at least I understood WHY.

Working environments have such strange dynamics at times.

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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 01:56 PM
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If it is NORMAL practice to mention ALL achievents.....why don't you just casually ask him why the big accomplishment wasn't mentioned since you had ALL over time tried to accomplish this. Maybe something like "wow this company has work years to achieve this goal I am surprised you didn't mention it"

Sometimes I found that just straight forward addressing something is usually the best way for me to resolve what is bothering me. In my case it didn't fix the problem but at least I understood WHY.

Working environments have such strange dynamics at times.

Thanks Eskie.

To clarify, it may not be normal practice to mention ALL achievements. The point I am making is he neglected to mention THE MOST IMPORTANT achievement, to my great surprise and astonishment.

I will bring it up to him. Not sure how I will say it. He had worked on this account himself, and did not resolve the traffic and revenue issues that I have, as I mentioned above. It may not be best if I mention that they have been trying to resolve it, but only til I came along, did the needle move, you know what I mean? I have to be careful of his position and ego.
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 04:16 PM
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Thanks Eskie.

To clarify, it may not be normal practice to mention ALL achievements. The point I am making is he neglected to mention THE MOST IMPORTANT achievement, to my great surprise and astonishment.

I will bring it up to him. Not sure how I will say it. He had worked on this account himself, and did not resolve the traffic and revenue issues that I have, as I mentioned above. It may not be best if I mention that they have been trying to resolve it, but only til I came along, did the needle move, you know what I mean? I have to be careful of his position and ego.
That is probably why I would just casually comment something about the fact you noticed that a big accomplishment FOR THE TEAM wasn't mentioned.

I definitely would not ask why he didn't mention your biggest accomplishment....that would most probably get into ego stuff with him for sure.

I have actually been in meetings myself where I realized I touched on lots of small stuff & omitted big topics because I was winging it & my brain got distracted.....but you know his MO (modus operandi).

It does seem strange that he would not mention the biggest accomplishment of his team.....whether conscious or subconscious or too many things on his mind. I definitely would have felt like the omission was lessening the importance of the accomplishment you have had with this account....kinda underappreciated for your success.

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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 04:31 PM
  #9
Ug, I hate egotistical bosses. I does sort of sound like that's what you're dealing with. I also wonder if, since you did something he was unable to do, and he is male and you are female, well, I've experienced that with male bosses in the past. It seemed like they were threatened by my outperforming them (except that's why they hired me). I've found female bosses to be much more team-oriented.

I think if I were in your shoes, I might find a way to drop that achievement into conversation when I'm just casually passing time with the CEO. So not like formally announcing it, but just like, when you're both at the coffee pot or break room, say "hey, did you hear I finally got that website to rank #1 again? I'm so proud and excited!"

If you bring it up to your direct boss again, he seems to be a sensitive type to me, from what I've heard, kinda of like fragile ego type, so I might say rather than mentioning you noticed he didn't mention it (not sure if you meant to phrase it that way that it did not slip your notice) I would just reiterate again how you'd really like to share with the whole team this great achievement. One tactic too could make it seem like a team achievement, since he is your boss. So like, even though I kind of hate this, if you make it like a "we accomplished this on our team" you could possibly even be the one to give the news to the team.

Office politics are just so insane sometimes. Even as a consultant I have to deal with it, just not in the same way. So many egos to stroke, when we all want the same thing, right?

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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 04:41 PM
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That is probably why I would just casually comment something about the fact you noticed that a big accomplishment FOR THE TEAM wasn't mentioned.

I definitely would not ask why he didn't mention your biggest accomplishment....that would most probably get into ego stuff with him for sure.

I have actually been in meetings myself where I realized I touched on lots of small stuff & omitted big topics because I was winging it & my brain got distracted.....but you know his MO (modus operandi).

It does seem strange that he would not mention the biggest accomplishment of his team.....whether conscious or subconscious or too many things on his mind. I definitely would have felt like the omission was lessening the importance of the accomplishment you have had with this account....kinda underappreciated for your success.
Hm. Well, it wasn’t a big accomplishment for the team though? It was my solo efforts and solo achievement. If we had all worked together on this one aspect then I would say yes it was a team effort and a team accomomplishment. I also don’t know why I wouldn’t directly state to my boss that he neglected to mention my biggest accomplishment? It was clearly overlooked and downplayed. I truly believe it was on purpose and deliberate. As I said before, it’s not the first time it’s happened.
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 04:54 PM
  #11
He KNOWS it is your accomplishment even if you phrase otherwise.

You know best how to ask but I would definitely say something. It never hurts to ask in private why he does this to you since he has done it before.....maybe there is something that needs to be cleared up about what he is doing.

Without communicating anything it will only continue to happen & he may think it doesm't matter to you. Who knows if there is a motive behind it or not unless there is communication.....otherwise it is speculation & assumptions. At least if you hear his rational you can better determine if your speculation is correct.

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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 06:07 PM
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Ug, I hate egotistical bosses. I does sort of sound like that's what you're dealing with. I also wonder if, since you did something he was unable to do, and he is male and you are female, well, I've experienced that with male bosses in the past. It seemed like they were threatened by my outperforming them (except that's why they hired me). I've found female bosses to be much more team-oriented.

I think if I were in your shoes, I might find a way to drop that achievement into conversation when I'm just casually passing time with the CEO. So not like formally announcing it, but just like, when you're both at the coffee pot or break room, say "hey, did you hear I finally got that website to rank #1 again? I'm so proud and excited!"

If you bring it up to your direct boss again, he seems to be a sensitive type to me, from what I've heard, kinda of like fragile ego type, so I might say rather than mentioning you noticed he didn't mention it (not sure if you meant to phrase it that way that it did not slip your notice) I would just reiterate again how you'd really like to share with the whole team this great achievement. One tactic too could make it seem like a team achievement, since he is your boss. So like, even though I kind of hate this, if you make it like a "we accomplished this on our team" you could possibly even be the one to give the news to the team.

Office politics are just so insane sometimes. Even as a consultant I have to deal with it, just not in the same way. So many egos to stroke, when we all want the same thing, right?
Thanks Seesaw! I greatly appreciate your support.

Interestingly enough, my boss hired two new team members, both males and both are technical experts. I am now the only non-technical expert in our group, on top of being the only female in our group. I swear, but I feel like my boss is trying to push me out the door, ever since I talked to HR about our monthly reports (which in the end turned out positively).

He does have a fragile ego it seems, as well.

I will definitely think about your suggestions. I have brought my achievement already to the CEO’s attn, after our last company meeting. CYA tactic.

And yes, office politics suck!!! Argh!! If you don’t mind, can I possibly PM you about how you successfully launched your consulting business? I may start down that road again, but not sure.
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 06:13 PM
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He KNOWS it is your accomplishment even if you phrase otherwise.

You know best how to ask but I would definitely say something. It never hurts to ask in private why he does this to you since he has done it before.....maybe there is something that needs to be cleared up about what he is doing.

Without communicating anything it will only continue to happen & he may think it doesm't matter to you. Who knows if there is a motive behind it or not unless there is communication.....otherwise it is speculation & assumptions. At least if you hear his rational you can better determine if your speculation is correct.
Thanks Eskie! Honestly? People will say whatever lies to cover themselves at work. He won’t be truthful so I cannot expect anything other than professional power games. He’s shown me repeatedly he is not to be trusted. There are other instances where he’s undermined me. This is not just speculation. It’s a very strong suspicion and gut feeling. And I’m usually right with my gut feelings. I think I will point blank let him know I’m bothered that he didn’t mention my achievement. And I will ask him point blank, what gives? And see what he says. I really think he’s trying to push me out the door, as I just mentioned to Seesaw.
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 07:08 PM
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Thanks Seesaw! I greatly appreciate your support.

Interestingly enough, my boss hired two new team members, both males and both are technical experts. I am now the only non-technical expert in our group, on top of being the only female in our group. I swear, but I feel like my boss is trying to push me out the door, ever since I talked to HR about our monthly reports (which in the end turned out positively).

He does have a fragile ego it seems, as well.

I will definitely think about your suggestions. I have brought my achievement already to the CEO’s attn, after our last company meeting. CYA tactic.

And yes, office politics suck!!! Argh!! If you don’t mind, can I possibly PM you about how you successfully launched your consulting business? I may start down that road again, but not sure.
Hahaha, I laugh cause I still deal with politics. Just now as a consultant. Definitely you can message me and I'll let you know my secret sauce.

I have a thought about this achievement thing but I need to figure out how to phrase it that makes sense. Just woke up from a nap and still remembering how form sentences, lol.

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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 07:16 PM
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Hahaha, I laugh cause I still deal with politics. Just now as a consultant. Definitely you can message me and I'll let you know my secret sauce.

I have a thought about this achievement thing but I need to figure out how to phrase it that makes sense. Just woke up from a nap and still remembering how form sentences, lol.

LOL. I totally understand the post-nap haziness!

And thanks so much..... yes, I'd love to know your "secret sauce" and hear more of your thoughts on this. Thanks!
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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 08:06 PM
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Thanks Eskie! Honestly? People will say whatever lies to cover themselves at work. He won’t be truthful so I cannot expect anything other than professional power games. He’s shown me repeatedly he is not to be trusted. There are other instances where he’s undermined me. This is not just speculation. It’s a very strong suspicion and gut feeling. And I’m usually right with my gut feelings. I think I will point blank let him know I’m bothered that he didn’t mention my achievement. And I will ask him point blank, what gives? And see what he says. I really think he’s trying to push me out the door, as I just mentioned to Seesaw.

That would be a very STUPID (calling ut what it is) on his part to push someone like you out considering what you have done for them in this last year...but some managers are just STUPID (not even going to soften the term to unwise)

I always like the direct approach myself to start with then have other plans available if the results aren't acceptable.

Yes....gut feels are usually accurate when there is supporting evidence.

Ok....I want to hear seesaw's secret sauce too

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Default Apr 13, 2019 at 08:20 PM
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Agreed Eskie! It would be very stupid on his part, but I am just picking up that perhaps he'd like to see me leave. I sense that he feels more insecure with me there, about his own skill level. He leads our team yet gained his knowledge of this field on the job in the last three years... I have far more experience than he does in our field. THAT being said, I could never do what he does. He is very good at leading our group and at managing all of us. He has his own skill set and is very good at the work he's in charge of. So I do admire that about him.
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 01:20 PM
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Bosses for the most-part don't want competent employees; a person who is capable and has initiative comes at the price of you not having total control over everything all the time. They'll get the job done and done properly but will also tell you to "go to hell" if you challenge them over petty issues. An incompetent dullard with no self confidence will run to you for permission for EVERYTHING; they will resent their colleagues who exercise their initiative and rat them out to the boss immediately as they act as your eyes and ears too. They, of course, come at the price that they are a constant irritation, but you can verbally abuse them for this, which control-freak bosses find very satisfying, this will keep them coming back for more because occasionally you can pay them on the head and say "well done" as part of your good cop/bad cop head game.

Back to your issue, he ignores your achievements on purpose and takes credit for them, you sound like you're pretty awesome at what you do, do you need a pat on the head from this guy? Anyone patting you on the head is keeping you down; you should start freelancing and build up an income on the side, this will allow you when the time comes to say "go to hell! I don't have to take this from you"
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Default Apr 22, 2019 at 03:19 PM
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I have some awesome memes for this but they have the f word in them.

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Default Apr 22, 2019 at 05:56 PM
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Bosses for the most-part don't want competent employees; a person who is capable and has initiative comes at the price of you not having total control over everything all the time. They'll get the job done and done properly but will also tell you to "go to hell" if you challenge them over petty issues. An incompetent dullard with no self confidence will run to you for permission for EVERYTHING; they will resent their colleagues who exercise their initiative and rat them out to the boss immediately as they act as your eyes and ears too. They, of course, come at the price that they are a constant irritation, but you can verbally abuse them for this, which control-freak bosses find very satisfying, this will keep them coming back for more because occasionally you can pay them on the head and say "well done" as part of your good cop/bad cop head game.

Back to your issue, he ignores your achievements on purpose and takes credit for them, you sound like you're pretty awesome at what you do, do you need a pat on the head from this guy? Anyone patting you on the head is keeping you down; you should start freelancing and build up an income on the side, this will allow you when the time comes to say "go to hell! I don't have to take this from you"

I believe you are RIGHT about bosses. I've seen it again and again!!! They DON'T want competence! NOT REALLY!!!

And thanks so much. I always doubt myself at work, but I always pull it off and succeed. I am thinking of starting my own consulting again, but then again, I don't know if I'm really up for that.

I do think he wanted to take credit for my work. I pushed my way into this client meeting though, so that's good at least. I can claim the work and achievement to my client directly, without anyone speaking for me. YAY! lol.
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Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.