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randomer123
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Default Apr 25, 2019 at 09:07 AM
  #1
Really sick of everyone trying to push me into a job (and this happens to other people not just me). I'm just not ready (mentally) for that. This should be clear from the fact that I've been rejected from every job I've applied for in over 10 years. I know that if I started working, right now in this state, I wouldn't last long. I'd have a nervous breakdown and be fired, if I'm not fired for doing something wrong, causing an accident, or some other reason. It's pointless.

The work and health program person even did all this maths, telling me how much better off I would be at work. This was just money, well of course I'd have more money than being on jobseekers allowance, but that's not the point. I'd be mentally/emotionally worse off at this point. The jobseeker money is enough for food and bills, I hardly buy anything else. Nobody in their right mind would employ me anyway. I know I wouldn't. So I would never get any of that money!

I know I have some issues, and I'm working on them. It's just hard when I'm being sent to these stupid courses all of the time. I finally cracked my biggest problem (obsessions with things), got to the bottom of it and now I'm in the process of uprooting it. I've had that problem since around the age of 12 (I'm in my 30s now), and I've never known what keeps it going until now. Yes it has took over 20 years.

Now I know if the jobcentre had left me alone (I wouldn't expect any help from them, no way), I would have probably worked out this problem a lot sooner, might be all gone by now and might even have a job. I've actually been seriously working on it for about 4 years now, trying to figure it out. I made some progress, but not much, and slowly. And now there is still work to do on that, and then I have a lot of other smaller problems. Once these are sorted out, I'm sure I'd be far more employable (sleep deprivation will always be a problem because of the noise, but it probably wouldn't affect me that much). I used to be (employable), before I moved here and in the first 2 years before everything got so bad. Right now I know I'm not. I know that the sleep deprivation and the noise in general gets me down so much because of all this other rubbish I have going on.

Why can't they just leave me alone to fix these things? Or maybe even help with it somehow. I'm obviously not going to get a job anyway, and if I did I'd be fired within a month. All they are doing is holding me back, making it take longer, and keeping me unemployed. It's stupid. I feel like if I was left alone for a month without having to go to the jobcentre or any of these stupid courses, I'd be able to really concentrate on this, and get these problems fixed (or at least most of them). And I'm sure by the end of the month I'd be more employable, maybe ready to go into a job, but if I'm not then I'd at least be much closer. But no, all they care about it punishment for being unemployed (which only makes us less employable).

Wouldn't it make more sense to try to help people into a more employable state, give them whatever they need, instead of just forcing them to apply for as many jobs as possible and do loads of pointless work experience?
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Default Apr 25, 2019 at 11:27 AM
  #2
so how do you pay your bills? rent? etc...does someone else pay them for you? disability ?
I wouldn't call it punishment for wanting you to be a working, contributing member of society ...for folks to be able to subside on disability payments others have to pay into it. also, if you are able to work then you should, and it is everyone's best interests to help find you a position you can manage so that ideally you can function independently if you are not currently. that is the role of all the programs...to have the person be able to function on their own is possible.

you say they are holding you back..why? go out and apply on your own then. but you also say you are unemployable..so how can they be holding you back ? it is confusing.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to try to help people into a more employable state, give them whatever they need, instead of just forcing them to apply for as many jobs as possible and do loads of pointless work experience? "

It's not easy to find the perfect position for most people until they try a few jobs and see what they like.

i'm just confused by your post....work/don't work...training/no training. what exactly is it that you are looking for specifically?
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Thanks for this!
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Lilfae
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Default May 08, 2019 at 01:54 PM
  #3
I think I understand what you mean. I don't know where you live, but where I live, so many are suspicious of poeple who don't work, and think they're just lazy. And sometimes it seems like the system is based on the same ideas. But it's not; it's there because your society has decided it's the decent thing to do, and the best both for the indivudual and for society as a whole.

Do I understand you correctly, that all the things they make you do, leaves you With too little time and energy to get better? And that if they left you alone, you could focus on getting better, and get back to a job you could actually keep, sooner?

Are you in therapy or some other kind of treatment? I'm thinking maybe you're on the wrong kind of welfare support. If you're unemployed because of your health, you should be on health-related welfare support, not support for people seeking a job. Then you should be able to have more time to focus on getting better. Maybe they could even help you get medical help. Again, I don't know where you are, so I don't know how the system works there. But here, the welfare system will help you get the treatment you nee to get better, both because it will give the individual a better life quality and because healthy people are the fundament for building a state that can take care of their citicens and build a better future for our childeren.
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Default May 08, 2019 at 02:08 PM
  #4
And it's ok to rant <3 It's ok to not have all the answers, it's ok not to be ok. And your value as a person is not measured by how much money you earn, or pay in tax, or how much work you can do. You're infinitely valuable. You ARE not your health, and you ARE not what you can do. Or what you've experienced. Or what the welfare system tells you you are. YOU matter. Your wellbeing matters, your dignity matters, your life quality matters, your pain matters.
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Default Jun 30, 2019 at 04:49 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilfae View Post
Do I understand you correctly, that all the things they make you do, leaves you With too little time and energy to get better? And that if they left you alone, you could focus on getting better, and get back to a job you could actually keep, sooner?
This is exactly what I meant.

It took me a while to realise and accept/admit that I'm not in the right state of mind to be employed and that's why I'm always rejected. I used to blame the employers somehow, but now I know it's me. I need to sort myself out, and I have been doing that for the last 3 years or so. It's not something that happens overnight, I can't just flick a switch and be "normal" or whatever they want.

I've done a lot of emotional work, "soulsearching" to find out what is going on, taking apart problems, emotions, thoughts and beliefs, getting to the bottom of things. I've already "fixed" some things but there is still so much more to do. I really really wish I had started this sooner (in my early-mid 20's maybe) and then there would be less to work on, and I'd be better now.

The jobcentre constantly sends me to these pointless "courses" which don't help in any way, but they make me feel worse. I would like to be left alone for a few weeks, really get to the root of my problems, and do whatever I can. But no, not allowed to do that, I have struggle on with all this nonsense which is keeping me in the state I am, if not making me worse. It's really frustrating.
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