advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anonymous48672
Guest
Anonymous48672 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 10, 2019 at 05:07 PM
  #41
Good luck with everything, Rechu! Keep taking care of yourself! Let us know what happens! Stay strong! *hugs*
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
rechu
 
Thanks for this!
rechu

advertisement
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 11:47 AM
  #42
Latest update. I got notice on Thursday that my insurer reduced my leave from 14 days to 5 days. They usually should ask for an assessment from one of their psychiatrists and a report from your doctor, not just reduce it without recourse.. So, I went to the government agency that handles appeals to submit one. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a note from my doctor. It’s national holidays this week so a lot of people take vacation around this time. When I called his office last Thursday, they told me he was on vacation as of Wednesday. So, I probably won’t get the appeal approved.

I was told I would have to go back to work on Monday (today) so on Friday I went to the worker’s compensation clinic one town over (my town doesn’t have one). Again, my blood pressure was high and I had a panic attack in the collective taxi on the way over. The doctor agreed to start the intake process since I was very stressed and anxious and gave me another seven days, until the 23rd. Because of the holidays this week I can’t get into a psychiatrist’s evaluation until the 24th, so they said come in on the 23rd; not to work, and they will give me more time. The doctor was Venezuelan and gave me the time off before the receptionist made the appointment, so maybe he forgot it can be hard to get an appointment soon due to the holidays. I was given documents to give to work about all this. Luckily my husband dropped them off for me today.

I was doing some reading about toxic work environments. This article really hit home, especially the following points:
Ten Signs Your Workplace Is Toxic -- Whether You Know It Or Not

4. You can't bring up legitimate concerns with your manager. You already know what he or she will say if you protest a new policy or object to the fact that you're expected to work straight through another weekend. If you say anything, your manager will get mad and say "That's your personal problem! Figure it out."
You also can't go to HR with your complaints. They can't help you. Other people have tried going to HR with their issues and it only made their problems worse.

5. Corporate culture, trust, teamwork and collaboration are not topics anybody talks about in your workplace. They talk about targets, goals, production, errors, infractions, verbal warnings, written warnings, and the 'chain of command' instead.

6. You have no idea what your CEO's leadership philosophy is, if your CEO even has a leadership philosophy. All you know is that the managers you see every day lead through fear. Their management philosophy seems to be "I'll do whatever my boss wants me to do -- including mistreating and intimidating my employees."

7. There are sometimes meetings and training sessions called, but nobody speaks up at those meetings. The only time you or your coworkers tell the truth is when there are no managers around.

8. Nobody ever asks for your input. Once a year they send around a "confidential" employee engagement survey but nobody you know ever fills it out. How could they? If they told the truth about how they are treated, things would only get worse.

9. You've stopped expecting to be treated fairly at work. You've stopped expecting your manager to tell you the truth, because you've been lied to so many times before.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48672, Turtle_Rider
 
Thanks for this!
LilyMop
LilyMop
Veteran Member
 
LilyMop's Avatar
LilyMop Hoping
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 709
3 yr Member
81 hugs
given
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 04:56 PM
  #43
@rechu

I bet a lot of people feel like this at work. I keep trying to figure out why it’s like this and why it’s so common.
LilyMop is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 09:51 AM
  #44
Yeah, a lot of people I know are going through similar frustrations, either toxic environments or job loss in a few cases. So many work environments seem really toxic and no one seems to care, especially management who are usually the biggest part of the problem.

I opened up my work email to see if there was anything about the paperwork that was dropped off yesterday. There wasn't, but there was a bunch of emails about a new policy our boss instituted, without consulting anyone of course - no one has a voice but her. It is just going to create inaccurracies and more work. People have tried to bring this up, but she's not open to any discussion, of course.

I know there are people out there who like their jobs and good work environments. I have experienced this in the past. However my last two work environments have been awful due to poor management. I don't know if it's bad luck, or just a sign of the times, i.e. fewer decent places to work.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LilyMop
LilyMop
Veteran Member
 
LilyMop's Avatar
LilyMop Hoping
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 709
3 yr Member
81 hugs
given
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 07:12 PM
  #45
Quote:
Originally Posted by rechu View Post
I don't know if it's bad luck, or just a sign of the times, i.e. fewer decent places to work.

I think it might be a sign of the times. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can find some positive coping methods because this is something I cannot change.
LilyMop is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 25, 2019 at 03:06 PM
  #46
Latest update. Yesterday I had a meeting with an occupational psychiatrist at the workers' compensation hospital. He approved continuing the evaluation process. He gave me another 21 days of leave and I have appointments tomorrow with a psychologist and then with a doctor on the 15th. I had to go to my office twice: once to drop off the initial leave extension and one to drop off the new 21-day extension. I was able to get in and out, leave things with the recepcionist and have her stamp a copy as received for my records both times without running into anyone I didn't want to see. I realized that, even though it is an open plan office, if I enter the door by the reception desk, it was relatively easy to not bee seen by my boss, her boss, etc. - unless they were headed to the bathroom or the elevator.

They will be sending a psychologist to my work to talk to people and see how the work environment is. Unfortunately, it sounds like often co-workers are not willing to talk negatively about management in these situations. It's understandable. I mean it is confidential but people may worry that word will somehow get out to our boss that they portrayed her negatively. If they do actually tell the truth, it will help me, since I am far from the only person who has had problems with her. But, I probably shouldn't get my hopes up too much.


Well, unfortunately, I read a few complaints online about the doctor that I am scheduled to see on the 15th; people unhappy with him determining that their mental issues are not related to work, which is what you need determined to continue on leave/in treatment with the workers' compensation insurer. But, I am still going to follow through and try at least. I have to do that. The thing that is causing my stress and anxiety is my work environment. The first doctor I saw definitely agreed with me on that and the guy that evaluated me the other day asked me about other areas in my life causing stress, but there really aren't any, as I told him.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48672, bpcyclist
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 10, 2019 at 12:41 PM
  #47
I got a call today saying that there has been a decision in the workers' comp case and I have to go in on Monday, not Tuesday to be informed about what it is. So, I am back to having major panic attacks and crying just thinking about it. I know that it is more than likely that the decisión will not be in my favor.

So, the possibility of being told I have to go back to work, which means I will be fired is looming over me. I don't want to work there any more and I should get severance, which will be a big plus. However I just cannot deal with seeing my soon to be ex boss. I just know she will be all smug and insult me and my work, even though it is so clear that she set me up to be fired. This is not about my competence when she supports my incompetent co-workers all the time. I don't know how I can make it through that. I don't feel strong enough after all I have been through these past months due to that woman. I probably will have a panic attack and I don't want her to see me like that.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Turtle_Rider
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 10, 2019 at 08:07 PM
  #48
Do you have a routine you do in order to deal with panic attacks either before they happen or after they have started? Do you have any other person you could take with you for support during this meeting?

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
SlumberKitty
Anonymous48672
Guest
Anonymous48672 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Oct 10, 2019 at 08:39 PM
  #49
Ugh, sorry to hear this rechu. When you go back to your workplace, do what bpcyclist suggested as far as a routine to prepare yourself ahead of time for the panic attack you think you'll have. Take something from your home with you to your workplace, that symbolizes happiness or calmness or love with you. It could be a small object, a photo, a note, something you can keep in your pocket and hold on to while you're at your workplace. For me, it's photos of my niece and nephews. I use those to stave off the anxiety I feel about my new job. I look at their photos throughout the day in order to keep myself grounded and it actually works.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 15, 2019 at 11:31 AM
  #50
Well, that didn't go well. As expected my claim was found not to be work related. BS, but what can you do? I am quite sure that my co-workers had pressure from my boss not to say anything negative. I mean she wouldn't have access to their statements, but she may have threatened to fire people if the decisión came out in my favor. Threatening people is her M.O,. after all.

I can appeal, but I am not sure I want to. I'd need new evidence. The only possibility is to get something from the pdoc I saw in the ER and later in my office. However, when he extended my leave he said I should try and negotiate an exit with severance, which was something I did not feel emotionally strong enough to do. So, I am not sure if he'd help me continue this.

bpcyclist - I have tried some breathing techniques, but they don't seem to help that much. Talking to my husband can sometimes calm me down, but he'll be working, so I can't necesarily get in touch with him. All my friends work, so I don't really have anyone that can go with me and I'm not sure if they'll be allowed in the meeting.

At least they told me yesterday that while the workers' comp insurer won't be paying my leave for the time since I've been with them, they submitted the request to my regular insurance. Apparently, they will sometimes reject the first attempt, but the insurance regulator approves it on appeal.

Ugh, so I go back to work tomorrow. I dropped off the paperwork about this yesterday. So far no one has contacted me, but I haven't looked at my work email. All I want is to be fired with the least drama posible and to get paid what I am owed.

And, Blanche, thanks for the picture idea. I will bring a picture of my dog Helmut.

Last edited by rechu; Oct 15, 2019 at 11:39 AM.. Reason: Added text
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
LilyMop
LilyMop
Veteran Member
 
LilyMop's Avatar
LilyMop Hoping
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 709
3 yr Member
81 hugs
given
Default Oct 15, 2019 at 11:59 AM
  #51
I’m sorry you continue to have a hard time. It sounds like things have continued to get worse and worse. Sometimes I have found that things get worse before they get better. I hope there is good news for you down the road, in some form or other. Maybe there really will be a better job for you somewhere else. Hang in there.
LilyMop is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
rechu
 
Thanks for this!
rechu
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 17, 2019 at 07:23 AM
  #52
Well, here’s the latest update. I went back yesterday. First thing, I sent an email to my boss and HR to let them know. All my boss did was respond welcome back and put a message in the department teams chat group saying I was back. None of my co-workers messaged welcome back or anything. I am definitely being iced out.

A few hours later, I got a brief email from her with some instructions about what to prioritize. It felt like her words were very carefully chosen, like HR or a labor lawyer had informed her how to act towards me. The editor, when she had to ask me something, was all fake nice; a complete 180° from the nastiness and snippiness she showed in the months before I went on leave.

My husband talked to a friend who is a labor lawyer, since labor law isn’t his specialty. His friend said he’d advise a client to behave exactly the way my boss/co-workers are doing in this situation. There’s a concept called “tutela laboral” here, which refers to things like workplace harassment, mistreatment and violations of workers’ rights. So, it sounds like they are nervous I could be trying to document anything that could be construed as “tutela laboral” for a future lawsuit.

I don’t think they will try to call me in for a one on one meeting again, like the one I never went to since I went to the ER. There’s been no mention of, “we need to have that meeting”. I am sure they think I will go back to the ER and get more leave if they try to bring me in. But, there is a team meeting on the 29th and there was a mention that individual performance will be discussed. I am sure that is when the axe will come down.

The day before I went back, I had made peace with the idea of being fired. I don’t want to go through the actual firing. However, I am so sick of this toxic workplace and the way it is affecting my health. Plus I’d have the severance. After all I did to accept that, I was almost let down in a way that I still am employed here. I’m not exactly motivated, slowly working on the stuff that was pending before I went out on leave.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty, Turtle_Rider
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 17, 2019 at 07:41 AM
  #53
Wow. I thought this kind of stuff only happened at American companies. So sorry you are having to deal with this, I truly am.

In 2001, I had just come back from the hospital (4 months there). This was the first time my partners were aware of my illness. Nobody welcomed me back. Nobody tried to make me feel comfortable after having been gone for so long. Instead, I soon began receiving a series of emails questioning the quality of my work from my chairman. There were a couple meetings. It was plain to see he was trying to get rid of me. They were obviously discriminating against me. My work was excellent, if I do say so myself. It was an unpleasant time. I finally just left. It wasn't worth trying to work in a discriminatory environment. I didn't need them. I went out on my own and my career exploded, in a good way. Turns out, that department chairman who was so mean to me was just holding me back from what I was really capable of. I find that amusing.

So, what I am saying to you is, as awful as the current situation is for you, this may represent a really good opportunity for you to find something more to you liking. Please don't forget that. That supposedly world-famous department I was part of, it was doing nothing positive for me. So, I went out and did something positive for myself. It worked out better than I ever could have hoped for. Hang in there. This will get better, one way or the other. And I would definitely start quietly looking around for another place to land. If things don't work out where you are now, you're going to need it. Sending you positive vibes. All the best.

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
rechu, Turtle_Rider
 
Thanks for this!
mrsselig, rechu
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 17, 2019 at 08:16 AM
  #54
Thanks bpcyclist. Sorry you had to go through that awful experience. Since about June, my work was also being seriously criticized for the most minor errors,, while incompetent people were constantly praised. Our boss has no clue about what really goes on in the department.

I've updated my resumes in English and Spanish and am exploring both potential job leads and ways I can make freelance income. I think that's why I am more at peace about eventually being let go. That severance money would really help with my future possibilities, so I don't really think I should quit at the moment.

I am laughing at the fact it must be killing my boss to have to be nice to me when she would probably love to just tear in to me!
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LilyMop, Turtle_Rider
Anonymous48672
Guest
Anonymous48672 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Oct 17, 2019 at 08:47 AM
  #55
Hey rechu! Thanks for the updates on your work situation. I hope the 29th this month goes better than you expect. If they fire you, as bpcyclist pointed out, that could be a total opportunity for you to really pursue something you're more well suited for. That's what I"m telling myself right now as I was just fired 5 weeks into my administrative front desk role yesterday. I won't hijack your thread about it. I just want to reassure you that being fired, as scary as it is, because of the unknowns that come with being fired, can also be reframed as a chance to start over.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
rechu, Turtle_Rider
 
Thanks for this!
rechu
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 17, 2019 at 09:10 AM
  #56
I definitely agree, Blanche. In fact, for me the best option for the 29th would be firing with severance. I am so demotivated to even do this job these days; in fact, I really have come to hate it. However, if I quit I only get about 16 vacation days, plus a small unemployment account of about a month's salary. So, I will hang around for now because a salary is better than none. I will do what I can to save money for the future and hope they will put me out of my misery.

Sorry to hear you were fired. So many people I know have been fired lately. It seems like an epidemic.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 30, 2019 at 01:15 PM
  #57
Well, the meeting was postponed. Not sure how much has made the news elsewhere, but since the 18th the country has been in chaos with rioting and protests. We were under curfew and state of emergency. Most of the company is working from home.I haven't been fired either. I assume because it would look kind of bad to fire someone right in the middle of this. I guess I got another reprieve.

On Saturday I have to go to my health insurer to defend my last leave. They are trying to reduce it again even though I had to be on leave while the workers' comp investigation went on. I asked for Monday off too, so I can hopefully put in an appeal over the same issue. My husband said it's best to fight on all fronts. Government offices have not been functioning normally so I couldn't go this week.

The whole situation has me scared. I still feel like they will fire me eventually. I wasn't so nervous about that before, but now there's so much uncertainty. The economy is going to take a hit from this, that is sure. So, I am worried about what my options will be employment-wise. Starting a business seems out right now. I guess trying to get some freelance clients elsewhere and maybe some English students here is the best way to start. I had thought to try and find tourism-related work, but tourism is definitely going to decline.

This sucks!
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48672, SlumberKitty, Turtle_Rider
LilyMop
Veteran Member
 
LilyMop's Avatar
LilyMop Hoping
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 709
3 yr Member
81 hugs
given
Default Oct 30, 2019 at 01:19 PM
  #58
@rechu

I’m sorry things have just gotten worse lately. Just when we thought they couldn’t right?

Sometimes things have a way of turning around in ways you least expect it. I looked at the news with what’s going on there and it doesn’t make sense to me.

Hang in there. I’m hoping there’s a silver lining for you in all of this.
LilyMop is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
rechu, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
rechu
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 07, 2019 at 10:35 AM
  #59
Well, the work saga has ended. I went to the meeting on the 5th and while I was waiting for others to come in, my boss came in with a folder. She said she was meeting with me to terminate my contract and showed me the termination letter to read and sign. I was technically fired due to "needs of the business", the most general, common category. Basically, if they say that and pay me what I am owed, it's hard to sue for wrongful termination. Wrongful termination is tough to prove anyways in a case like mine. I know crap was going on behind the scenes to make it look like my work was deficient, but I can't prove it. So, I'm just happy I will get paid and have a financial buffer while I figure out what to do next. I ran their calculations through a simulator on the labor department website and it is properly calculated.

On the 15th I go to the notary to sign the termination documents and get my check. With that I can claim what's in my unemployment account. It turns out, I won't be the only one. The one person in my department I have contact with out of work said they fired someone else in our department too. Apparently, he had no idea what hit him. At least I was prepared for my situation. As they say in Spanish, mine was a "muerte anunciada".

My husband was looking at the termination later and it appears they screwed up. They mention paying me for November on the 29th, but don't indicate anything about through the 5th or days worked. He thinks if I only get paid the 5 days and I go to the labor inspector, I may be able to get the rest of the month paid. That would be nice!

I am proud that I stayed calm in the meeting. Just said okay and signed the papers. I guess I had enough time to accept it and realize it was for the best. I'm glad that they had to pay me, they couldn't get me to quit so they didn't have to pay. I didn't make it easy on them! A victory in a way, I guess.

According to my former co-worker, the environment has gotten even more toxic after two people were fired in the same day. Everyone is confused about what happened and worried if they are next. Another good reason to be out of there.

I stopped by the office yesterday to drop off the computer monitor and headset. Our boss' boss saw me but acted like he didn't. As I said to my husband, I must have had my invisibility cloak on really tightly! HR treated me well at least.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48672, SlumberKitty, Turtle_Rider
 
Thanks for this!
LilyMop, seesaw
LilyMop
Veteran Member
 
LilyMop's Avatar
LilyMop Hoping
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 709
3 yr Member
81 hugs
given
Default Nov 07, 2019 at 11:34 AM
  #60
Wow! You really went through a lot! I hope things are going to be much better for you from now on. You’ll finally be able to relax a bit and find a better job.
LilyMop is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
rechu
 
Thanks for this!
rechu
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:13 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.