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Default May 02, 2019 at 01:21 PM
  #1
At what point would you think of requesting stress leave from work?

Here:
https://psychcentralforums.com/work-...-thread-7.html
You can see my post about the current situation at my workplace. There are some other posts in that thread a bit farther back as well.

A little while back, things had improved a lot, but between my boss’s mystery health issues and the situation with the new system they are going downhill. No problems have been resolved, but we are still expected to meet certain deadlines, which is nearly impossible. I spent 4 hours this morning on something that would have taken me 10 minutes before, yet they still force us to use this system.

I am trying to tell myself it’s not my problem; I didn’t create it. But, it’s hard to keep up that thinking when I get constant messages and emails from our boss telling me that I need to finish such and such by 12 to send to a client.

Today I got so frustrated I broke down in tears. I made a minor mistake, forgetting to get a clarification when I made a phone call and the editor chewed me out. It’s been a while since I was pushed to that. At least I work from home, so no one saw me. From what I hear from co-workers EVERYONE has been doing things like that and is on edge, since we are distracted by trying to use a system that isn’t working properly.

I am thinking either to take some vacation days or stress leave (which is a thing in this country). My husband said if I go to the private clinic that has a psych ER where he has gone in the past, they’d probably give me a week at least. Maybe by the time I got back things would have improved somewhat. I’ve been with the company over two years and have only taken two days of sick leave in all that time, so I don’t think I’d have issues with getting approval.

Any thoughts? Stick it out or try and take some sort of break? Obviously the plus of the stress leave is to not use my vacation time.
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Default May 02, 2019 at 03:08 PM
  #2
If you can take a break, do it. In the short term, it may give you a little space to breathe, relax, and figure out what your next steps are.

My experience though is... even though I feel better when I take a vacation from work, all the stuff that drives me crazy is still there when I get back. I usually return to my stressed/depressed state really fast as soon as I get back to work.

Because unless something changes (and it sounds like it won't - in the other post, you wrote that your boss doesn't have your back on this?) - just relieving the stress temporarily is not really a long term solution.

Is it possible to look for another job? It sucks, but if you can find something else that is managed better, that might be better for you in the long-term?

In the shorter term (and apologies if you've done this already, I didn't read the whole other thread) - I'd be so tempted to respond to my boss with something like (being careful to not add emotion or sound upset, just factual): "I'm working as quickly as I can, unfortunately, the new system is causing significant delays. Do you have any suggestions on how I might accomplish this more quickly?"

I don't know if that would actually do anything, but it *might* maybe make your boss realize that nope, there's no way you can speed it up!

I'm sorry that your dealing with this... work stress sucks. I'm dealing with it too. Though I'm really surprised that they didn't consult you guys at all on the new system! I do UX at work, so "talk to the user" is at the top of our list when we have to design something, for exactly this reason (i.e. we don't want to remove critical functionality or break things that already work fine!)

Good luck!
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Default May 02, 2019 at 03:32 PM
  #3
Thanks for your thoughts. Yeah, a lot of the issues will probably still be there, but they hopefully would have patched up some of the most egregious problems.

I completely agree that it was a terrible idea not to get our input. We did have a spreadsheet where we could put suggestions; that was it, and it seems no one looked at it. The only person involved was our boss, but she doesn’t use the system the way we do. She may add something to a project or edit our work, but she doesn’t have to make major changes or write something from scratch like us. We were never even consulted before they removed these features.

Unfortunately, our boss’ only response is that this is normal and we need to be patient. We can’t really talk to her.

Yeah, I am considering looking for new work. I was kind of thinking maybe I need to suck it up and look in the capital even if it means commuting; we have moved out of the city and I telecommute. My husband could probably drop me off where I can take the subway so it wouldn’t be so bad.

However, something sort of scary happened the other day when I was in the city. I have bad respiratory allergies. When I lived in the city and it was smoggy, I felt it, but could handle more average days. I have been breathing so much better out of the city. Friday was an average day pollution-wise. I went out on my lunch break and after 10 minutes of walking I felt awful, tight chest, coughing, etc. So, maybe working in Santiago is not going to work for my health.

There are vineyards here where we are living. I think with my language skills I could be marketable there, so I need to get my resume ready and send it out.
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Default May 02, 2019 at 07:59 PM
  #4
Good luck with it. I'd do it (take the leave) - like I said, it at least buys you a little time to figure out what you want to do, and helps relieve some of the stress.

(I've started tracking my stress recently - and wow! I am *always* stressed, apparently! So not good! So - I'm definitely in favor of reducing stress if you can!)

The vineyards sound like a really lovely environment to be able to work in! I can understand why you'd be reluctant to go back to the city, the struggle with the air quality sounds like it would be painful to deal with on a daily basis.

Good luck!
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Default May 02, 2019 at 08:31 PM
  #5
I was so dismayed by what you wrote in the other thread. I cant believe the business is going backwards like this, there is just no excuse for it. Some things improve in life, but some things seem to never improve.
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Default May 02, 2019 at 08:52 PM
  #6
I am the queen of stress leave! I take all the time I need, as often as I need it.

I read something once that said "Don't let a job stress you out. Your job will be posted online before your obituary."
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Default May 02, 2019 at 09:02 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by rechu View Post
At what point would you think of requesting stress leave from work?

Here:
Work Gripes Thread
You can see my post about the current situation at my workplace. There are some other posts in that thread a bit farther back as well.

A little while back, things had improved a lot, but between my boss’s mystery health issues and the situation with the new system they are going downhill. No problems have been resolved, but we are still expected to meet certain deadlines, which is nearly impossible. I spent 4 hours this morning on something that would have taken me 10 minutes before, yet they still force us to use this system.

I am trying to tell myself it’s not my problem; I didn’t create it. But, it’s hard to keep up that thinking when I get constant messages and emails from our boss telling me that I need to finish such and such by 12 to send to a client.

Today I got so frustrated I broke down in tears. I made a minor mistake, forgetting to get a clarification when I made a phone call and the editor chewed me out. It’s been a while since I was pushed to that. At least I work from home, so no one saw me. From what I hear from co-workers EVERYONE has been doing things like that and is on edge, since we are distracted by trying to use a system that isn’t working properly.

I am thinking either to take some vacation days or stress leave (which is a thing in this country). My husband said if I go to the private clinic that has a psych ER where he has gone in the past, they’d probably give me a week at least. Maybe by the time I got back things would have improved somewhat. I’ve been with the company over two years and have only taken two days of sick leave in all that time, so I don’t think I’d have issues with getting approval.

Any thoughts? Stick it out or try and take some sort of break? Obviously the plus of the stress leave is to not use my vacation time.
Hello Rechu. So sorry you are struggling with this. I have experienced two rough jobs which definitely affected my health. I have never taken sick leave for stress. I left instead. While I would never tell you not to do it, I would respectfully caution you to think it over and only use it as a last resort. Whether we care to admit it or not, sick leave for psychological reasons is frowned upon. It can affect a person's career and future jobs after they return...word tends to get out whether legal or not. Where I live, you can't take sick leave without specifying the reason and the boss does become aware of that but perhaps it is different where you are? Workers in certain fields avoid this like the plague because it can be assumed later (though unfairly) that they just can't handle the work. I've known several colleagues who experienced that. One told me that his MD said "I'll write the line for you but I don't recommend that unless you are desperate." Once you ring the bell, you can't un-ring it so to speak. Where my mother works, people who take sick leave for stress are deemed malingering or "loony." I would encourage you to get another job before resigning. Or take some vacation time if you are not sure about resigning. Though if you are truly miserable, I am not sure why you wouldn't want to resign. Crying at work is an indication of a need for change.
While crying itself is okay in the right setting, being so overwhelmed in the workplace is not appropriate. Sounds like you need a break. Trust me, resigning and going to a different job will likely play out very differently for your future career than being out on sick leave for stress.

I wish you peace, hope, and a bright future.

Last edited by Anonymous44076; May 02, 2019 at 09:37 PM..
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Default May 02, 2019 at 09:27 PM
  #8
I always ensure to consume my vacation leave for the year. I usually file it after working on a hard task. It is really important to take a break from everything and find a way to relax and relieve stress.

Also, I feel like the company that you are working with doesn't know the meaning of work-life balance which makes the environment unhealthy.
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Default May 12, 2019 at 06:27 PM
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How much time do you think you can ask for, rechu? One week? Two weeks? See if you can ask for two weeks off from work. That may be the right amount of time you need to recharge and come up with a game plan for your next career path steps.

Although I'm terrible at holding down jobs, if I could, I would use the time at the current job to look for a new job. Have you considered trying to find another job while you keep your current job? Give yourself a deadline of how long you'll apply for other jobs, either telecommute jobs or jobs in Santiago?
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Default May 13, 2019 at 12:22 PM
  #10
Thanks all for your thoughts. I am sticking it out for the time being. The weekend before this recent weekend recharged me enough to make it through last week.

I had hoped we’d be seeing more improvements by now, but the highly touted improvements that have been issued have been mainly cosmetic and don’t address problems like data not saving or constant error messages.

I am not sure how this week will go. This last weekend was not relaxing at all. We’re dealing with a sick cat that needed a second surgery and buying and then returning some things for the new house that didn’t work out, so I’m already tired of this crap at 12:30 on Monday.

Today we’ve been told there are more things we can’t do because we are making the system unstable (as if it’s somehow our fault). On Friday our boss flipped out, sending an irritated email about how poor her, she had to spend 3 hours in a meeting about fixing the system. It was so annoying, I mean, that’s her damn job. That is why she makes more money than us. It’s the least she can do considering she’s been out so much. Even people that supported her in the past seem to think she’s losing the plot.

They are giving us a 4-day weekend from the 18th to the 21st. The 21st is a holiday but the company is giving the 20th off as well, so that is something to look forward to. Additionally, a friend of mine in another country is planning a trip here next month, so I will take some days then, which could help.

Oh, and another potential positive is that they just announced they are looking for a researcher in another area of the content team. I have to deal with the people in that area frequently and have a really good working relationship with them. The content is probably a bit boring, but at this point I don’t much care, it’s more about getting away from my boss and the “mean girls”, which would definitely help my state of mind. I am going to ask HR about salary and if I can still telecommute before deciding if I should apply.
---------------
Blanche - unfortuntely I really don't think my respiratory system can take Santiago any more, especially the upcoming winter season when the air quality gets worse, and telecommuting opportunites are few and far between. I do plan to apply to some jobs in the wineries in this area, which is the main industry. I need to sit down and work on my resume. I just keep putting it off because I am stressed and tired.
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Default Jul 30, 2019 at 12:17 PM
  #11
Well, back to being a wreck, sadly. There have been so many changes to how we are supposed to work. You have to add more information; everything has become more time consuming while we are still supposed to meet numerical targets. The system still isn't fixed in many ways and some processes are simply more time consuming and have us doing work that should belong to another department.

Meanwhile, some people are still cheating to pad production statistics. Our boss is out sick so much that's she's clueless about the things that are going on.

So, my boss sent me a nasty email yesterday about my production this month. A few other co-workers also received one. Basically the cheaters and the people that can copy and paste okay are fine numbers-wise, but those of us who actually work are struggling. She wants to have a talk on Thursday. I am dreading it.

The thing about the statistics is that at the last meeting someone asked her how long does she expect us to spend per project. She said, "that varies". So, if she can't establish that, what justifies the production numbers she sets?

That possible transfer didn't work out. For whatever reason, they said I'd have to work in the office. Although several people in that area telecommute. So stupid!
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Default Jul 30, 2019 at 02:56 PM
  #12
Ugh what a toxic work environment your office seems to be. So sorry you have to put up with that nonsense, rechu! Can you take more vacation time away from your office for mental health reasons?
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Default Jul 31, 2019 at 07:35 AM
  #13
Thanks Blanche. I have vacation days, but I want to save them for a real vacation in a few months - and if they fire me I get those paid out, so I would like to keep some banked for that. In September at least we get a 5-day weekend for national holidays.

Ugh, I had to work with that cheater yesterday to write up some new projects. When she actually has to do work and can't just copy and paste that she was not able to find information, she is incompetent. She didn't understand a very basic concept we deal with regularly. She's been at the job for a year! We also deal with websites where you look for public works bidding processes. For this we had to look up some processes. I found mine quickly. She was whining half the day that the system must not be working because she couldn't find anything for hers.


And, the other day I was doing an update for a project for a bridge between Paraguay and Brazil because an important announcement had been made. We have several bridges like that in the system so you have to be careful that you are working on the right thing, which can be done by checking what cities it will connect. I saw that someone else had sent another such bridge to editing, which I thought was weird, since there wouldn't normally be news about two of them in the same day. She had updated that other (incorrect) bridge with the information I was using. I mentioned it to my boss, since that is something that is going to look bad to a client, but I checked and it hasn't even been corrected.

Sadly, my boss is oblivious. She seems to have these internal narratives about us that won't be changed. She thinks that other woman is great because of her artificially inflated numbers, overlooking her sloppy work, while others of us who are more careful and do good work are viewed poorly because we have lower numbers.
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Default Jul 31, 2019 at 10:17 AM
  #14
Yeah, you need to find another job. That place isn't going to ever change it seems like from what you post about it. Yuck.
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Default Jul 31, 2019 at 10:44 AM
  #15
Sadly the rest of the company is decent. If I had been able to transfer over to that other area, I would probably be just fine. I have to deal with the people there on occasion and we get along well. In fact I mentioned to one person I was consdering applying (before I found out it was office-based) and he said I'd be more than welcome!

But, she's not going anywhere, that is clear. She misses so much work that they won't promote her. At the same time, firing people for cause in this country is tough, so they'd probably end up paying severance, which is a lot, since she's been there forever. Of course, she's not going to go to another job since she'd probably get fired in her probationary time for taking a lot of time off.

Some days I hope she just puts me out of my misery and fires me with severance. I'd have some months' salary to regroup and figure out where to go from there.
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Default Jul 31, 2019 at 10:51 AM
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Sadly the rest of the company is decent. If I had been able to transfer over to that other area, I would probably be just fine. I have to deal with the people there on occasion and we get along well. In fact I mentioned to one person I was consdering applying (before I found out it was office-based) and he said I'd be more than welcome!

But, she's not going anywhere, that is clear. She misses so much work that they won't promote her. At the same time, firing people for cause in this country is tough, so they'd probably end up paying severance, which is a lot, since she's been there forever. Of course, she's not going to go to another job since she'd probably get fired in her probationary time for taking a lot of time off.

Some days I hope she just puts me out of my misery and fires me with severance. I'd have some months' salary to regroup and figure out where to go from there.
Can you start job hunting now?

That's too bad that the other dept has no openings for you. Hopefully something will open up so that you can transfer out of that horrible dept..
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Default Jul 31, 2019 at 11:21 AM
  #17
I've been taking a look at listings, but I really don't see anything decent, especially with the issues that complicate me finding work. If I am out of the house I´d have to crate two of the dogs all day, which would be really tough for them. And, then, most jobs are in Santiago and, as I´ve mentioned the air quality there exacerbates my respiratory issues. Ugh, this really sucks.
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Default Jul 31, 2019 at 12:11 PM
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I've been taking a look at listings, but I really don't see anything decent, especially with the issues that complicate me finding work. If I am out of the house I´d have to crate two of the dogs all day, which would be really tough for them. And, then, most jobs are in Santiago and, as I´ve mentioned the air quality there exacerbates my respiratory issues. Ugh, this really sucks.
Crate your two dogs? Aww.

Well, sounds like your options are limited unfortuantely. I get it, about bad air quality as I have asthma too and am very sensitive to particulates in the air.

I hope something presents itself too you soon, as a better alternative.
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Default Jul 31, 2019 at 02:07 PM
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Yeah, our oldest is 11, so I could just put on some music, lay down some pee pads and she'll lay on her futon all day. Even she and the girl puppy usually do well together alone. We had to leave them alone for some longer times when we moved, and they didn't cause problems.


But then there's the little guy who is a year and a half. When it's him and the puppy they can get into mischief. You never know. The majority of the time they are just fine, but then suddenly they can tear apart a doormat like they did a few weeks ago.

It would be awful to have to crate them, but they'd be alone for a long time every day. I feel like I didn't rescue them off the street to have to do that.
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Default Aug 01, 2019 at 08:02 AM
  #20
Well, I am supposed to talk to my boss in half an hour about my supposed poor performance. I started off the morning with a panic attack over that. This sucks!
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