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Default May 11, 2019 at 10:04 PM
  #1
That's my job history; fired last year from a substitute teaching job of five years that caused me to lose my apartment and move in with my elderly mother whose dementia and health is so deteriorated she is now on the waiting list for assisted living some time this summer.

So my options (realistically are, and not guaranteed) for housing:

-find a year long single dorm room at the university where my 2nd grad school program is located and apply for fall (summer housing is too late and closed)

-find a roommate on Craigslist

-find an affordable (and probably located in sketchy neighborhood) studio apt.

-distant cousin in another state who lives with 2 roommates has a spare room but she is an alcoholic manic depressive on disability; the room rent there is $500 a month but the environment with her and her roommates would be volatile, full of partying and craziness (per her Facebook posts which is how we connected from our mutual first cousin).

I can't live with relatives (estranged from both siblings who are married w/kids), and the housing for homeless here is not reliable. My SUV would cover me until winter b/c MN is horrible winter-wise.

-My credit score is below 650 so I'd need a cosigner for any place I rent

-I have no savings (so please don't rag on me about using savings as I have none)

-I get a student loan financial aid refund every semester for the summer and fall and had to apply for a Grad Plus private loan (rejected, so I had my mother cosign it) and that is pending. If I don't get it with the cosign, I have to drop out after this fall of my grad program b/c I don't have enough financial aid anymore to cover the rest of the year program.

-My stuff is in a storage unit that I'm 2 months behind on payments b/c of lack of consistent income. It goes to auction in a month so I have until then to pay it back or I will lose everything I own.

So what I need to find:

-A decent paying full time job that isn't horrendous (preferably one that pays more than $27K a year b/c taxes here take out $7K of my single tax filing)

-A safe place to live that I can afford to live and pay rent to even if it means living in a college dorm as a middle-aged adult

If anyone has ANY constructive advice please feel free. I am scrambling and I know from past experience that when you are in my unstable position, it's easy to grab the most desperate choice available which is usually the worst choice. I've done that for 32 years (since 16 years old).

My sister is not emotionally supportive and actually told me on the phone tonight some rather mean things to me; about not being a grown up and not being responsible. Basically, your typical "pot calling the kettle black" type of thing ( people should not criticize someone else for a fault that they have themselves).
 
 
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Default May 11, 2019 at 10:33 PM
  #2
get the college dorm. use the dining hall...won't be great but it's safe and you will save $$ on utilities etc. it's not perfect but it won't kill you. plus you can';t spend too much because there is no room for lots of stuff to accumulate.

gym on campus to use ..saves $$ on membership
dining hall saves $$ on food
no utilities saves $$
 
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Default May 11, 2019 at 10:40 PM
  #3
I have to make sure I have the financial aid to cover one year. If I do, I will apply. It seems like the wisest choice and it's only for a year. But, if I don't get the GRAD Plus loan, I'll be forced to leave the dorm b/c I won't be enrolled as a student technically anymore. I should find out soon (by the end of June at the latest) if I get the GRAD Plus loan. I'm mortified that I am in this situation b/c I have only myself to blame.
 
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Default May 11, 2019 at 11:15 PM
  #4
make the best of it...think of it as a smart choice...not a bad one....plenty of folks are in situations like this...
 
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Default May 12, 2019 at 11:02 AM
  #5
What kind of jobs are you able to do?
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Default May 12, 2019 at 11:49 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by resurgam View Post
make the best of it...think of it as a smart choice...not a bad one....plenty of folks are in situations like this...
Well I won't be able to live in the grad school dorm if I don't get approved for the GRAD Plus loan b/c I'll run out of regular financial aid after this fall. So, where I live depends on student loan status.
 
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Default May 12, 2019 at 11:54 AM
  #7
Definitely not a fun place to find oneself in, for sure.

Don't know about dining halls on the campus where you are, but the ones at the University I work at are so expensive that most of us that work here can't even afford to eat there more than once a week, so I don't know how students on their limited budgets even begin to afford it.

It took me a long time to work my way back up from the bottom to some semblance of normalcy, but when I crashed and burned, I started out working 3rd shift at a convenience store for minimum wage.

It freed me up during the day to focus on my mental health and recovery process, relying on county services when insurance wasn't an option.

For me, shelter always came first regardless of what else I could or could not afford, and I ate many PBJ's and ramen noodles along the way!

I spent many years at an extended stay hotel which was also kind of expensive but at least I had a place to call "home" until I could get back on my feet enough to re-establish my credit and actually be able to afford a "legitimate" place to live - if you go this route to not make friends with or associate with other guests because a lot of illegal stuff goes on there and you don't want to get caught up in any of that!

Sometimes we have to be in some sketchy situations while we work our way back up to what society considers "normal".

It sucks to be in that boat, but when we have nobody but ourselves to rely on, then it's the best we can do.

With all that being said, I wish I had some better answers for you but hope you find the courage and strength necessary to slog your way through the dismal swamp you find yourself in while finding your way back to solid ground.

 
 
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Default May 12, 2019 at 12:18 PM
  #8
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Originally Posted by Pfrog View Post
Definitely not a fun place to find oneself in, for sure.

Don't know about dining halls on the campus where you are, but the ones at the University I work at are so expensive that most of us that work here can't even afford to eat there more than once a week, so I don't know how students on their limited budgets even begin to afford it.

It took me a long time to work my way back up from the bottom to some semblance of normalcy, but when I crashed and burned, I started out working 3rd shift at a convenience store for minimum wage.

It freed me up during the day to focus on my mental health and recovery process, relying on county services when insurance wasn't an option.

For me, shelter always came first regardless of what else I could or could not afford, and I ate many PBJ's and ramen noodles along the way!

I spent many years at an extended stay hotel which was also kind of expensive but at least I had a place to call "home" until I could get back on my feet enough to re-establish my credit and actually be able to afford a "legitimate" place to live - if you go this route to not make friends with or associate with other guests because a lot of illegal stuff goes on there and you don't want to get caught up in any of that!

Sometimes we have to be in some sketchy situations while we work our way back up to what society considers "normal".

It sucks to be in that boat, but when we have nobody but ourselves to rely on, then it's the best we can do.

With all that being said, I wish I had some better answers for you but hope you find the courage and strength necessary to slog your way through the dismal swamp you find yourself in while finding your way back to solid ground.

Thank you for responding to my post Pfrog.

Since you've been where I'm at you do understand. I'm 48 and so this would be easier if I were 28 but that's not the case.

I don't know why I can't find a full-time job where I live, but I can't. And believe me, I've tried. But, it's about accumulation. If you accumulate enough strikes against you work-wise on your resume (i.e. job hopping which means no good job references), then you really set yourself up for failure, as I have.

I've tried to use functional formats on my resume, to no avail, and waiting for a temp job is like waiting for the winning lottery ticket (basically, it's futile).

I won't find out if I'm even eligible for a dorm room until 1) my GRAD Plus loan gets approved to cover the cost of the rest of my year in my program and 2) there is an opening this fall in one of the girls dorm rooms. I don't even know if my middle age 48 makes me ineligible. or eligible for a college dorm room.

The dorm room option seems to make the most sense economically -- who cares if the meal plan is expensive it's included so I am not paying extra for anything if I were to get a dorm room after my GRAD Plus loan is approved (I won' find out for a while yet).

But if that isn't available to me, I may just bite the bullet and go stay with my cousin b/c my financial aid is set to run out for my grad program after the fall semester so then I'm really screwed if I don't find a full-time job.

And no, I won't work myself to death with multiple retail jobs. I have health problems that prevent me from working more than 8 hours. When I was substitute teaching 8 hours a day, I tried adding a retail job to that, working another 4 to 6 hours after that but it was too much for me and I had severe asthma attacks. So, multiple jobs is not a realistic option for me. Just one job at a time is all I can do.

Meanwhile my sister expects me to fork over a large chunk of my summer refund to pay for services to clean out our mother's apartment of her junk once we get her into assisted living. I texted her today to tell her that she and our brother would have to figure that out, since I am going to save my summer refund instead to find a place to live, while I look for a job. Both of them and their spouses have full time jobs. So of course I got a snarky "gee, thanks" text response from my sister.

This, after I texted her late last night asking her how to operate our mother's insulin pen, which I didn't know how to use. She didn't respond to my text, so I had to call a 24 hour pharmacist for help. She didn't even respond to my text about it today, until I brought it up, and she only responded, "well, i saw your text this morning, at leas the pharmacist helped you out."

My sister is such a toxic person. I should have estranged myself from my toxic family system 20 years ago. I know my life would have turned out completely different -- probably better.

And my niece's high school graduation is in 2 weeks. I don't want to go. I should, but I don't feel like I'd be welcome there. I have no clue what my niece thinks of me (probably doesn't think very highly of me).
 
 
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Default May 12, 2019 at 04:05 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
So what I need to find:
-A decent paying full time job that isn't horrendous (preferably one that pays more than $27K a year b/c taxes here take out $7K of my single tax filing)
My suggestions, entry level state local or federal job. (even if this is less than 27K - which it won't be) you get raises every year and it ads up)

Go to a temporary agency, secretarial / accounting etc. The key here you usually can work for a temp job for 8 or 12 weeks and then qualify for unemployment because you were not working through no fault of your own.

My state allows you to get paid as "adult foster care" where you get paid to care for your elder parent. The reasoning is that it will keep the elder out of a nursing home (which the state pays for). Not sure if you can qualify.

When I was desperate for a job I applied at small little places like a law firm that just had one attorney and I said to the guy, I can see you are worried about hiring me. How about this, I will work for 6 weeks for free. If you like my work you can hire me, if you don't I just ask for a reference. I got the job at a good wage. (basically he was too lazy to fire me once I was in there).

Quote:
-A safe place to live that I can afford to live and pay rent to even if it means living in a college dorm as a middle-aged adult
I go with roommate. Going to school means spending money you don't have. Don't use craiglist there was a site called "roommate match" which I found which was better.

Are you tied to where you are living? You can find some amazingly cheap good homes in the south -- north carolina etc.
 
 
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Default May 12, 2019 at 04:47 PM
  #10
entry level federal jobs are very difficult to obtain, and the pay isn't great. plus not every position is full time permanent. or comes with the ability to obtain benefits. some are just term positions or "seasonal" which means you can only work a certain # of hours / year with no certainty of rehire.

there are tons of people competing for federal positions..most of whom are way over qualified for the ones they are applying for. just a heads up. and vets get to go to the top of the list. and let's not forget gov't shut downs...they mean periods of no work/no pay for how ever long..sure you usually get paid at some point but it is not a guarantee...and your bills don't take a break because you do.

all of this being said, I loved my federal position. most of the time. it was great until it wasn't. even tho I was earning way less then someone in the private sector doing the same job. .
 
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Default May 12, 2019 at 04:57 PM
  #11
[QUOTE=Emily Fox Seaton;6529268]
Quote:
My suggestions, entry level state local or federal job. (even if this is less than 27K - which it won't be) you get raises every year and it ads up)
Here those types of jobs take months to be interviewed for. I don't have months to wait for them to decide to interview me. Those applications are monotonous to complete, and require hours of time to complete because they are between 3 to 10 pages long of answering questions and attached documents. Total waste of my time. I've applied to local county and federal jobs before. Not going to waste my time on those anymore but thanks for the suggestion.

Quote:
Go to a temporary agency, secretarial / accounting etc. The key here you usually can work for a temp job for 8 or 12 weeks and then qualify for unemployment because you were not working through no fault of your own.
I already joined temp agencies. They are not reliable as a source of income. There is no time frame when an assignment will become available. You are at the whim of the recruiter's candidate selection. You cannot control when/if the recruiter considers you for any available contract work. I call in every week and tell the recruiters I'm available and looking for work. That is all I can control.

Here, you cannot collect unemployment as contract-work doesn't qualify for it. If it did, I would be collecting it as a former contract-substitute teacher. Every state is different. My state doesn't recognize temporary work of any kind, as eligible for unemployment benefits. To receive unemployment benefits, you cannot be a temp worker of any kind or work in retail. You must have had a full-time, 40-hour a week job to qualify for unemployment. I don't qualify.

Quote:
My state allows you to get paid as "adult foster care" where you get paid to care for your elder parent. The reasoning is that it will keep the elder out of a nursing home (which the state pays for). Not sure if you can qualify.
Again, you have to take a test and get certified to receive PCA here (personal care attendant) before you can collect PCA paychecks and can't be employed anywhere, as a temp, or anything. I don't have the money to do the certification and my mother will go into assisted living by August 1st. Otherwise, I would have done that six months ago when I moved in. But I looked into it, and it wasn't worth my time. I wouldn't have made more than $100-200 a week anyway, after paying more than $1000 to get certification as a PCA. Not a good financial investment.

Quote:
When I was desperate for a job I applied at small little places like a law firm that just had one attorney and I said to the guy, I can see you are worried about hiring me. How about this, I will work for 6 weeks for free. If you like my work you can hire me, if you don't I just ask for a reference. I got the job at a good wage. (basically he was too lazy to fire me once I was in there).
I can't do that. Doesn't work like that here unfortunately.

Quote:
I go with roommate. Going to school means spending money you don't have. Don't use craiglist there was a site called "roommate match" which I found which was better.
Roommatematch.com costs money that I don't have. I am using Craigslist because it is free and convenient.

Quote:
Are you tied to where you are living? You can find some amazingly cheap good homes in the south -- north carolina etc.
I can't afford to move out of state. That's not an option. If I had savings, and a job lined up, and a reason to move out of state, it would make sense. I don't have savings. I don't have a reason to move out of state. And I don't want to move out of state.

All I want, is to find a full time job, and an affordable place to live. And finish my graduate degree program if I can get the extra financial aid approved.

Last edited by FooZe; May 12, 2019 at 07:58 PM.. Reason: administrative edit to bring within guidelines
 
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Default May 13, 2019 at 08:32 PM
  #12
At this point I’d not continue with school. I’d take a year off school. Student loans have to be paid back so if you can’t get more loans you likely already borrowed more than 50k?
You can always return to school later. It’s just my
opinion of course

If you don’t go to school you’ll be asked to start paying loans back but you can ask for deferment.

I don’t know where you live but there are usually government jobs available for various agencies. These jobs are often in states capitals. Sometimes you might need to move within your state.

Last summer my daughter was applying for government jobs and there were several that required no experience and no college degree but since she did have graduate degree she was offered higher salary. She ended up hired by that states environmental agency, her salary was decent. She had great benefits but job was very boring. Anyways she didn’t stay in the area so she left that job and moved for personal reasons. But there was a lot of job offers on indeed.com. That’s where she found several offers. But I understand your area might have no government jobs.

But I’ll check indeed.com. Have you used that site?

Also is there career center at your college? Could they help with ideas? Other vocational agencies? .
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Default May 14, 2019 at 12:33 PM
  #13
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At this point I’d not continue with school. I’d take a year off school. Student loans have to be paid back so if you can’t get more loans you likely already borrowed more than 50k?
You can always return to school later. It’s just my opinion of course

If you don’t go to school you’ll be asked to start paying loans back but you can ask for deferment.

I don’t know where you live but there are usually government jobs available for various agencies. These jobs are often in states capitals. Sometimes you might need to move within your state.

Last summer my daughter was applying for government jobs and there were several that required no experience and no college degree but since she did have graduate degree she was offered higher salary. She ended up hired by that states environmental agency, her salary was decent. She had great benefits but job was very boring. Anyways she didn’t stay in the area so she left that job and moved for personal reasons. But there was a lot of job offers on indeed.com. That’s where she found several offers. But I understand your area might have no government jobs.

But I’ll check indeed.com. Have you used that site?

Also is there career center at your college? Could they help with ideas? Other vocational agencies? .
I think I need to be clear about a few things:
  • I don't need ANYONE'S opinion about my graduate school choice
  • What I need is advice on how to get a job despite bad job references due to job hopping and choosing the wrong kinds of jobs
  • I am not interested in being criticized or judged for my choices so if you don't have anything practical to offer me, please don't respond to my thread

I am NOT going to apply for government jobs. Period. No more needs to be said about that. I already did the temp agency registration thing too. I have taken literally all the steps one can take, in my situation.

Maybe instead of tearing me down for where I'm at, try to offer practical advice instead.
 
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Default May 14, 2019 at 12:43 PM
  #14
This thread is turning into an argument and has been closed for administrative review.
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