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New Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Germany
Posts: 9
5 |
#1
I studied Computer science, with the goal to work in video game development. My first ever job was quite fun, and indeed in a video game company. I had amazing coworkers, and there was always a good atmosphere and many team events etc so getting up and going to work was no struggle at all. The only drawback was that it was quite badly paid.
Sadly the company went down after 3 years. Ever since, I work as a software developer in a company that does websites - nothing to do with games. It was ok for a while, not great or particularly fun, but doable. However in the last months I've started to hate my job and struggle every day to get up. There's a few different aspects. I have one especially annoying coworker who is really loud and also starts loud conversations with the others. Whenever he is not there, the office is much quieter. I struggle with working in noise, and can barely focus. I already brought this up but it seems that basically nobody else cares and nothing will change. Generally, there's 2-3 coworkers I like, the rest is 'ok' but I feel like I don't fit that well into the team. They are all older men and I'm a young woman and we just don't have much to talk about. Plus, because I'm annoyed by all the loud rowdy conversations during work, I don't participate much. Then, I am bored by my job and started questioning if I actually want to be a software developer. I think my interest in video games is mainly because of the creative aspect. I would love a job that is creative or works with an entertaining product in some way, not just plain old websites. I don't hate programming and I'm decent at it, but am not actually very interested in technical details and don't have the motivation to really put work in and become better. I've started having a poor work ethic. I don't get nearly as much done as I could, but I make sure nobody else has to pick up my slack. I often just sit and stare at my screen. I have also probably been taking too many sick days. I'm basically waiting for my boss to bring this up. I know I'm not being a very good employee at the moment. I know many people don't love their job, but in the last months I really only live for the weekends & evenings and pretty much hate every minute I spend at work. I feel stuck because I don't see a clear solution. I could probably get a job as a software dev somewhere else, but because I am specifically sick of the technical work and missing creativity, I don't see how that would help me. Fortunately I've re-discovered some hobbies to at least do something creative in my free time, and I try to de-stress by meeting friends etc, but either way I start to feel really tense & depressed on Wednesdays and then just try to survive til the weekend somehow. I'm currently trying - with the help of my therapist - to find out what it really is that I want to do, and I have a few vague ideas, but even if I do know, it doesn't guarantee that I'll get a job like that. I just feel burnt out and hopeless. |
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#2
work is important....it pays the bills (hopefully). few of us have positions we truly enjoy unfortunately. the best I can tell you is continue to suck it up and work at your job. look for another if you can but look at it this way....the money you earn, besides paying your bills provides you with the funds to cover the activities you enjoy...be it movies, hiking, biking etc. it also pays for therapy. without work these would be hard to cover.
break the day up into time chunks. smaller chunks are easier to get thru. reward yourself. make your time off enjoyable. it is difficult but honestly you are not alone. |
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New Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Guam
Posts: 1
4 |
#3
I'm with you with this one. Long story short, only been at this job for 3 months. I hate it. I'm not productive, I stare and called in a few times.
I only stay because it helps me pay the bills. Maybe you can make use of your time at work by doing other things. (I try no to get caught, and I do my job first) I sometimes do homework at my job when I'm not doing anything. I also sometimes do research about mental health and how to improve them. If you can write/blog or something, maybe you can do that. Also, maybe look for another job? For me, I'm in school and volunteer which I love so I feel that I'm doing something with my life. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
8 136 hugs
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#4
Could you wear headphone to drown out the loud co-worker? Noise bothers me a lot too.
I think its great that youre working with your therapist to think this through. __________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 852
9 211 hugs
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#5
I hope you don't feel like I'm hijackin your topic, I just wanted to post a rant of my own when I saw your post.
I'm in a similar situation. I am bored out of my mind at work and it's only getting worse. When I started the job 7 years ago I said it wasn't something I'd do for more than a few years.... yet I'm still here. I quit once but I eventually went back. (The place had become unbearable due to some negative co-workers, they left before I went back.) Now it's automation making my job more and more boring. I studied translation, this job started out as a translator job but by now I spend most of my time just copy and pasting. And the workload is very uneven - some weeks we'll be busy, other weeks there's just not enough to do. I also spend a lot of time at work staring at my screen. My problem is kind of the same as yours, I'm not sure what it is I really want. And I'm sensitive to stress, and would get stressed pretty easily in a new job situation. I've also considered going freelance, but I don't really have any friends in this city so the only social interactions I have are with my coworkers. Without that, I'd get isolated and depressed. But I am honestly at a point where the boredom is killing all my motivation and I am constantly miserable. Even on weekends. Right at this moment I'm trying to motivate myself to make dinner - I don't even feel like eating. Usually when I'm depressed I eat too much. And it's definitely caused by my job. Last week I was on holiday, I could completely detach from work and I was feeling much better. But I went back to work the day after coming home and immediately felt like crap again. |
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New Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: New York
Posts: 6
4 |
#6
Just start to learn some new things and then you will find what to do in your life!
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