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Misery Business
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 12:33 PM
  #21
Update: The interview is over and I am still here to talk about it.

First, I really want to thank everyone who was thinking of me during this process as that really made a difference and also all the advice given to me. I was nervous, but the interview really wasn't that bad at all. The questions that she asked were actually pretty simple to answer like what days I would be available and would I be available to work at least one weekend day. Another question was what type of skills do I think I am good at and others I think I am not so good at. She then went on to explain what the job would be and ask if that sounded like something I would enjoy doing. The best thing of the interview is the first thing she told me to do is to take a deep breath as this interview was going to be really relaxed. That made me feel really good. Most everyone in my town unless they weren't born or lived under a rock know who I am and know the circumstance I went through without the details and I am almost 100% sure this lady did as well so she made sure I was completely relaxed. Afterward the interview I feel pretty good at the outcome of it and now just have to wait till Friday to see if I got the job or not. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 12:38 PM
  #22
YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Look at you!!! Overcoming your fears!!! Fabulous!! She sounds like a nice lady!!

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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 12:46 PM
  #23
Congrats on acing that interview, Misery Business! Having grown up in a small town myself, I know how self-conscious you must have felt b/c I also felt that way growing up when literally everyone knows everyone else's personal business (small town gossip)

But...don't let that deter you. Ever.

So proud of you for going through with the interview! Sounds like it was a success! I bet you'll have a job offer by the end of the week!
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 12:48 PM
  #24
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Originally Posted by HappyCrafter View Post
YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Look at you!!! Overcoming your fears!!! Fabulous!! She sounds like a nice lady!!
Thank You so much. This has given me so much insight actually. All of you have helped me so much as have my parents and my 2 close friends. Am I holding myself back.
I have had some time since I have been out of the abuse and trauma and have been in therapy since. I have come along way and I am not saying I am cured in anyway at all, but am I holding myself back though. Last Fall I was in a similar situation as today was I overcame a huge hurdle in my therapy in going back to Public School and I survived. Today, I overcame my fear of this interview with a total stranger and I am still here to talk about it. Now, if I get this Summer job that will be another huge hurdle in my therapy and a fear that I will overcome. I am beginning to think my T is correct and for me to really move forward I need to challenge myself and and don't hold myself back. I watch my peers and classmates and my friends who have asked me to go to dances, parties, go out for the Soccer team only for me to decline because of my fears. I don't know if I should challenge myself or not. It looks like I have a lot to talk to my T with tomorrow in my session.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 12:54 PM
  #25
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Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
Congrats on acing that interview, Misery Business! Having grown up in a small town myself, I know how self-conscious you must have felt b/c I also felt that way growing up when literally everyone knows everyone else's personal business (small town gossip)

But...don't let that deter you. Ever.

So proud of you for going through with the interview! Sounds like it was a success! I bet you'll have a job offer by the end of the week!
Hi, it really isn't that everyone knows everyone else's business in my town, it is just that my situation was kind of a local profile situation while it was happening so it was known by just about everyone in the area that I live. Not only my town. It has died down in the area overtime since I have been rescued and am now home, but most people at least in my immediate town still know who I am and what happened to me.

Thank You so very much.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 01:20 PM
  #26
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Originally Posted by Misery Business View Post
Thank You so much. This has given me so much insight actually. All of you have helped me so much as have my parents and my 2 close friends. Am I holding myself back.

I have had some time since I have been out of the abuse and trauma and have been in therapy since. I have come along way and I am not saying I am cured in anyway at all, but am I holding myself back though.

Last Fall I was in a similar situation as today was I overcame a huge hurdle in my therapy in going back to Public School and I survived. Today, I overcame my fear of this interview with a total stranger and I am still here to talk about it.

Now, if I get this Summer job that will be another huge hurdle in my therapy and a fear that I will overcome. I am beginning to think my T is correct and for me to really move forward I need to challenge myself and and don't hold myself back.

I watch my peers and classmates and my friends who have asked me to go to dances, parties, go out for the Soccer team only for me to decline because of my fears. I don't know if I should challenge myself or not. It looks like I have a lot to talk to my T with tomorrow in my session.
Don't sell yourself short for what you've been through. Trauma takes time to recover from. But you don't have to let your trauma control your life. You are so young, you have your whole life still ahead of you to accomplish many great things.

It's understandable that you are hesitant to join your peers at school dances and parties and social gatherings. Only go if you feel truly safe and comfortable.

Also, if you do go to a school dance or party, make sure you ask a close trusted friend to be your anchor, in case you have a panic attack, they know that you can go to them while you're at the party for comfort.

Also, make sure your parents would know where you are address-wise, so that if you needed to leave, you could always call them to come and pick you up. Basically, have a back-up plan in case panic and anxiety take over.

But if you're not ready yet to socialize, then you're not ready. Your body and mind will signal you when you're ready. Start small. Invite 1-3 trusted friends over to hang out at your place, and do this until you feel grounded again.

Maybe over the summer you could try this with your trusted friends -- have them come to your house, where you feel safe and plan fun activities there. Board games, movies, themed dinner party (could be pop culture related to something you watch on tv, or video game, or whatever).

Back when I was your age, we didn't have the internet or cell phones so we had to entertain ourselves. My friends and I would rent movies and have a themed dinner party around the movie. Like, Ghostbusters. Everyone came over as their favorite ghostbuster and we ate dinner (based on the movie), then watched the movie, then had a slumber party. I'm such a nerd, but boy was it fun to do in those days.

Or, another nerdy very 1970s-80s thing we did was go rollerskating (they still have rollerskating rinks that operate now in 2019 which is AWESOME).

If you like video games, or drawing, or whatever, invite friends over to do crafts or those activities together. As long as it takes place at your home, where you feel safe, you can ease yourself back into your school social network of peers slowly.

Now that it is summer time, this is the perfect time to try to ease yourself slowly through well-planned and structured activities where you feel safe. Does that make sense?

The bonus of this summer job, is you will get to see free movies, and make friends while you work your 2-4 hour shifts. Make sure you choose short shifts if offered so that you don't overwhelm yourself. Then, once you feel comfortable, choose an 8 hour work shift. They'll probably have you shadow someone, so you can follow along to learn the job's tasks. Then you won't feel overwhelmed either.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 01:38 PM
  #27
Everything I do that is outside the house like even today either one of my parents, my 14 years old brother, or one of my 2 very close friends are always with me. Now at the interview today my Mom drove me and was in the Theater building, but not in the interview itself. While at school I had a set up where at any time I could go to the school counselor or nurses office at a moments notice. I also had at least one of my 2 close friends in every one of my classes. That is the way it will be next year as well.

I will only be scheduled if I get the job for at most 20 hours per week. So most shifts will probably be 4-6 hours. That isn't too bad. My Mom has also been a stay at home mom ever since I have returned home so if anything does go wrong she is only 15 minutes away from the theater to get me.

I really appreciate your kind words. If I do attend a dance my two closest friends would be there so that would help. I have never had a boyfriend and that is one of the most difficult things for me to even think about a I cannot even think about trusting a guy because of all the sexual abuse I endured in the 15 months. I can pretty much only allow appropriate touch from my parents, brother, therapist,school counselor, Psychiatrist, Nurse, 2 friends, and other close family to this day.

My home we have a pool and I'd love to have a pool party, but really other than my 2 really close friends and my brother nobody would come. it isn't that people don't like me. It is people don't know me or think I am so fragile and a complete mess and crazy. I have also thought about having sleepovers at my home with my two close girlfriends. The only problem with that is I have frequent nightmares and i am afraid that would ruin the sleepover.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 01:45 PM
  #28
Hope you get the job, Misery! But even if you don't, it took GUTS for you to go and do the interview. And now you have that experience under your belt. I think just about everyone, no matter how seasoned, gets a little nervous at a job interview. And if you have 2 close friends, that's more than a lot of folks have. Congrats.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 01:56 PM
  #29
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Originally Posted by Misery Business View Post
Everything I do that is outside the house like even today either one of my parents, my 14 years old brother, or one of my 2 very close friends are always with me. Now at the interview today my Mom drove me and was in the Theater building, but not in the interview itself. While at school I had a set up where at any time I could go to the school counselor or nurses office at a moments notice. I also had at least one of my 2 close friends in every one of my classes. That is the way it will be next year as well.

I will only be scheduled if I get the job for at most 20 hours per week. So most shifts will probably be 4-6 hours. That isn't too bad. My Mom has also been a stay at home mom ever since I have returned home so if anything does go wrong she is only 15 minutes away from the theater to get me.

I really appreciate your kind words. If I do attend a dance my two closest friends would be there so that would help. I have never had a boyfriend and that is one of the most difficult things for me to even think about a I cannot even think about trusting a guy because of all the sexual abuse I endured in the 15 months. I can pretty much only allow appropriate touch from my parents, brother, therapist,school counselor, Psychiatrist, Nurse, 2 friends, and other close family to this day.

My home we have a pool and I'd love to have a pool party, but really other than my 2 really close friends and my brother nobody would come. it isn't that people don't like me. It is people don't know me or think I am so fragile and a complete mess and crazy. I have also thought about having sleepovers at my home with my two close girlfriends. The only problem with that is I have frequent nightmares and i am afraid that would ruin the sleepover.
Sounds like you have everything set up for yourself, to keep yourself safe. That is awesome!

I say, have that pool party. You could ask both of your close friends to each invite 1 extra friend and so you'd have 4 guests total. Like I said, start really small. Don't just assume that no one would come if you invited them. Assumptions are based on our own insecurities and fears and are 99% of the times, never accurate.

So, maybe start with a pool party -- how fun! -- and invite your 2 close pals, and ask them to each invite another friend along who would like to go. Then you can entertain 4 guests with food and fun in the pool. And eventually, maybe even by the end of summertime, you'll grow your social network a little larger.

Getting to know people takes time.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 02:25 PM
  #30
From your words and your character and the supportive environment you seem to be having, I am sure all will go well with you. Maybe one day you might even be able to think of the horrendous ordeal you went through as something that made you stronger and better. In the meantime you will grow and heal by taking on small challenges, one by one. I think that sounds like a good future for you.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 02:38 PM
  #31
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Sounds like you have everything set up for yourself, to keep yourself safe. That is awesome!

I say, have that pool party. You could ask both of your close friends to each invite 1 extra friend and so you'd have 4 guests total. Like I said, start really small. Don't just assume that no one would come if you invited them. Assumptions are based on our own insecurities and fears and are 99% of the times, never accurate.

So, maybe start with a pool party -- how fun! -- and invite your 2 close pals, and ask them to each invite another friend along who would like to go. Then you can entertain 4 guests with food and fun in the pool. And eventually, maybe even by the end of summertime, you'll grow your social network a little larger.

Getting to know people takes time.
I think I will ask my Mom and Dad if I could have a pool party. I would also have my 14 year old brother there and he could invite a friend too. That would be 6 people. That would be fun and a good party. I also think if I do happen to get this movie theater job I might meet other people there if they like me and become friends with them. It will be another challenge for me, but we shall see.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 03:04 PM
  #32
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I think I will ask my Mom and Dad if I could have a pool party. I would also have my 14 year old brother there and he could invite a friend too. That would be 6 people. That would be fun and a good party. I also think if I do happen to get this movie theater job I might meet other people there if they like me and become friends with them. It will be another challenge for me, but we shall see.
See? 6 is a PERFECT pool party guest number. You don't want throngs of people running around amok, creating chaos. But 6 is a perfect amount of people to host and really enjoy hanging out with. If you have the pool party, I hope you have fun!

And yes! When you start your new movie theater job, you will make new friends you can invite over too. I think you're very smart and taking things slow is the best way to go.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 03:15 PM
  #33
StreetcarBlanche, I really appreciate all this. I never thought at the age of 16 that I'd be so messed up and things would be so hard for me. I didn't ask for any of this to happen to me as pretty much the first 12 and a half years of my life I was a spunky active little kid and then boom one horrible day in my life changed all of that. Now I find myself fighting everyday and I know you and others on here know quite well what I mean by that and how hard that is. That is why I appreciate this so much. I am actually sitting here with tears in my eyes typing this because all this caring and advice has not only been helpful, but it has been way more than that. It has shown me that people who don't really know me at all really care. This time it is about an interview and a job and the next time it might be about something totally different. In the 5 days I have been here the special people I have met who I know have issues just like myself have shown they are more caring then the average person and I cannot express enough how much I appreciate it all.
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Default Jun 27, 2019 at 05:21 AM
  #34
Don't stress too much about it. Everyone is nervous about job interviews I have one in a few hours so I know how exactly how you feel when it comes to dealing with people. You'll get the job, you'll meet some people and they'll become your friends.

I always wanted to work at a movie theater too.
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Default Jun 27, 2019 at 05:22 AM
  #35
I worked in a movie theater for a while. It was cool to get to see movies for free.
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Default Jun 27, 2019 at 09:19 AM
  #36
I say you will do well. You have practised and prepared for this and you are very self aware. You are motivated and take this seriously.

I have been a hiring manager and have interviewed young people and mature adults. I have interviewed people with absolutely no experience and those who possess an excessive amount. There have been times that it has been the young inexperienced person that I have hired - and it paid off. All this because I felt that young person had the better attitude. Second in my mind was the consideration of whether I could easily train this person. Conversely I have not hired a mature experienced person also based on attitude. Sometimes people can be set in their ways and no amount of experience is going to make them an ideal trainee.
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Default Jul 09, 2019 at 05:18 PM
  #37
So, what happened, @Misery Business ? Did you get the job and have the pool party? Or did something completely different come to pass?
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Default Jul 09, 2019 at 05:24 PM
  #38
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So, what happened, @Misery Business ? Did you get the job and have the pool party? Or did something completely different come to pass?
Well, I did get the offer for the job but I am not sure you knew this or not, but I posted before I went into the Psych Hospital, I was in the hospital when they offered the job so my parents had to decline for me. I was D/C from the hospital yesterday and am doing much better. I went in after having a terrible flashback and nightmare which became destructive towards myself and to my family. I needed to be admitted. Like I said I am doing much better now and have a much better focus on life and am on 2 new medications as well.
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Default Jul 09, 2019 at 07:20 PM
  #39
Thanks for the update. I'm sorry for your episode, but I'm also glad you feel much better now. Maybe it's all part of the bumpy ride to the top of the world! Where there will be no movie theater darkness, but light, pool parties, friends. Or whatever you personally perceive as fulfilling. Maybe peace and being far removed from any cruelty and free from fear.
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Default Jul 10, 2019 at 01:07 PM
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Oh, Misery Business I"m so sorry you had that terrible flashback experience and had to be admitted temporarily. When you are ready to work at that movie theater, I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms.
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