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sinjin
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 11:01 AM
  #1
I was fired yesterday and, frankly, it was deserved. I have no one to blame but myself. I knew it could be coming for about ten days, but it still stings.


I've run through a gamut of emotions. For the most part, I've been mopey and depressed. I have almost no appetite and would rather lie in bed and do nothing.


I have no money in savings. My wife, thankfully, is employed. She kept telling me that I just need to accept the fact I was fired and move on. I just feel like such a failure.

I've cried and had dry heaves due to being so upset by this. My diagnoses include OCD and anxiety. Had to take a Xanax last night to go to sleep and another this morning to calm down.

I know life goes on and I that I should just get over this, but it's hard for me. I'd appreciate any positive help or feedback people may have. Thank you.
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Skeezyks

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Smile Jul 02, 2019 at 01:52 PM
  #2
I'm sorry you've lost your job. I've never actually been fired. (I always managed to skin out just before the axe fell.) I do know something about having no one to blame but oneself though. It's been the story of my life. Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

7 Steps to Surviving Job Loss

What to Do When You Get Unexpected Bad News

You wrote: "I know life goes on and that I should just get over this, but it's hard for me." During a partial hospital program I once attended they told us: "Don't should on yourself." It's good advice...

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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sinjin
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 02:07 PM
  #3
@Skeezyks: Thank you for the response and the information.


I've been a mess the last 24 hours. I've cried and had dry heaves. It makes me feel weak and like less of a man. I can't help but feel that I've let my family and myself down.

My wife has been understanding, but has said I could be in a worse situation (e.g. dying or homeless). That's true, but, frankly, doesn't make me feel any better.


I just can't seem to get over this, but hope it'll get better in time.
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Default Jul 04, 2019 at 07:36 AM
  #4
Sinjin,

I hope you read the info that Skeezyks posted.

Last year, I lost my job and I was devastated but that job wasn't the right match for me and it was too hard. I cried and mourned nevertheless and felt ashamed of myself. I had the support of my friend who didn't judge me but I had to hide it from other people who would judge me. I had to practice being confident even though I wasn't.

I got a new job two months after that is a much better match for me.

Don't be hard on yourself. I know your self esteem is hurting but take the time to mourn and be kind to yourself.

Try to sufficient sleep, exercise and rest.
Go out for a while in the park and somewhere and meditate.

Write a list of things you are grateful for. Show gratitude towards them.
Write a list of things you need to get done each day. And do them. Write a goal list and put them in your to do list.
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Default Jul 04, 2019 at 10:54 AM
  #5
I agree that you should try not to be so hard on yourself. It's something that has happened to most people at one time or another.

After taking a bit of time to process, then, you should make a plan for your job hunt and stick to it. Best of luck!
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Default Jul 04, 2019 at 10:56 AM
  #6
Hi Sinjin. I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling with the emotional fallout of having been fired. I can understand how you'd feel the way you do: anxiety, depression, physical symptoms, etc. It makes sense. Even though you saw it coming, which may have softened the blow a little, it is still hard. Give yourself time to grieve. I also think though, that you should do some things that will help you feel better in this time. Know that this is a difficult time of loss and grief, but that doesn't mean you have to face plant on the bed all day and night (though some of this time may include that). Find some things to distract yourself, and to self soothe in a healthy way. This is fresh for you. So give yourself some time. And seek support when you need it.
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Default Jul 05, 2019 at 04:06 PM
  #7
There are things you might tell yourself. For instance, consider what you would tell a friend in the same situation. I am sure you would be positive and encouraging. So give yourself the same pat on the back and words of encouragement. You are worth it.

I learnt about being resilient yesterday. The stand-out for me was finding and maintaining a Sense of Purpose. Gratitude is a component too.

This is fresh. Give yourself time to digest it. It sounds like you are in grief too. There are steps to recovering from this the biggest one being acceptance. Don't force this to happen though, allow time for this to set in first. Finally is there any chance you might be able to find some closure?

Good luck and remember to give yourself permission to be upset. Be gentle on yourself.
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