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Default Jul 17, 2019 at 10:05 PM
  #1
I suffered from depression during the only job I held for about 2 years in the last 5 years. I didn't perform well, and now with my 3-year employment gap and lack of achievements, no one is willing to even acknowledge my applications. I tried governmental employment services and all they did was editing my resume and cover letter but didn't change anything in reality. I went to a recruiting agency and the recruiter told me I have no "industrial experience", so I didn't see him again. I reached out to the people I know for any leads, and they all ignored me or just told me to tailor my resume to the job description!! I contacted my academic supervisor and made him aware of my situation, but he also ignored me probably because I am the only one who is unemployed from his graduate students, and he thought I should find a job myself. It's really hard to deal with unemployment and for not being independent financially. I admit I was depressed while holding a job, but not having a job makes depression 1000x worse, and it destroys confidence big time. Some people suggested freelancing, but even in freelancing they need experience and you have to have good profile to get paid reasonably. Besides it seems too much work for me now with my lack of motivation and energy to set up an account, and write a good profile and pitch my proposals
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 02:50 PM
  #2
154 view and not a single interaction whatsoever!! I probably don't belong to these forums, as it's the case I don't belong in real life. Thanks
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 05:29 PM
  #3
What did you go to graduate school for? Any interest in pursuing another graduate degree in a different field? I did that. I got a masters in one field, tried that field for 5 years and didn't get a full-time job from it, so now I'm in another field entirely, just in the beginning of my grad program. I had to drop my 2nd course, my 2nd semester in my new grad program b/c I had to deal with the stress of putting my mother in a nursing home, while looking for a place to live, while waiting for my grad school refund money since I had not been working for the past year b/c I was taking care of my mom 24/7. Super duper stressful! Then I found a roommate situation temporarily for July-Sept. until I get my next grad school refund and take my 2nd class (I petitioned to have the 2nd class dropped which was approved by the university's board). Now I'm starting over....AGAIN.

Starting over SUCKS. I've been unemployed for longer than 3 years but I had the good fortune (sort of) to live with my mother in our family home before she sold it. But, I still suffered from debilitating depression like you're suffering from right now -- the kind where you don't even want to get out of bed depression.

The only way I got out of it, was through temp work -- sporadic as it was -- it got me out of bed and back into "life." I joined a church (this was before I became an Athiest -- long story there), met people, joined Meetup, met people and got back into a social life.

I think your university or college has a career counseling department, doesn't it? A career center? I would email or call them, and tell them you want to be connected to former students -- there is an alma mater network where former students help current or recent graduates from the same university or college to find a job again. Doesn't matter that you've been unemployed for 3 years. You have to change your "narrative" on your resume and the story you tell temp agencies etc. A mentor can help you do that. That's what you need: a job mentor. That will help you get back into the work-life-game. It's a chance, anyway.
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 11:45 PM
  #4
My field isn't great to be honest (not like computer science, for example), but other people with the same qualifications seem to flourish and work in big companies. I think it all has to do with my employment gap and lack of achievements in my first employment and my lack of industrial experience more than what field I studied. When I ask others what I am doing wrong, they all keep telling me to tailor your resume!! Not very helpful.

I contacted the career counseling department in my university, but they told me after 5 years from graduation we don't give help, and they gave me the name of a governmental employment service agency that help people find jobs where I live, which I went to for 4 months taking workshops and 1-on-1 training with a trainer, but all was useless. The irony is, in the first workshop they mentioned that 85% of jobs are filled via connections and internally and not announced for, while they spent months editing my resume and cover letter without any tangible results. She implied to delete my highest graduate degree because maybe I am overqualified, but this would create more gap in my resume, I told her, which she didn't know how to handle.

I tried meetups. I went to general social groups, but I am not very sociable, and I am not good with people. So, I would go there and stand alone on the side mostly having a beer or two, and then leave feeling more lonely than before. These meetings are not to solve fundamental issues like social anxiety and depression. These meetings are for normal people who can connect with others normally. One might say to go to more specific groups, but I have no special interest. Anti-natalism philosophy is not an interest to me, but it just happened to coincide with my world views before I knew about it. I don't read about it.

I would work anything that requires reasonable mental effort and pay the bills. I don't want to deal with customers because I am terrible with people and have no patience, and the physical work is not for me (I have back problems).

I thought of getting another master degree in computer science with specialization in machine learning, but it seemed too much of a road to take after my 7-year graduate studies, and I would need a financial assistance or a scholarship as I have tight budget!! Also, I don't think in my current mental state I could sit and read for hours as I used to do. I am learning things alone though on my pace and as much as I can. I only have academic experience (research), and even another degree would put me on square one again. I once applied to a position in the industry in my field, and the recruiter replied rather coldly "we are not looking for people with academic experience only"!! OK, but if no one is looking for people with academic experience only like me, where can I get this industrial experience?!! and when I apply to junior positions, they think I am overqualified to take a job that requires Bachelor's degree!!

I am confused and clueless to what else I can do.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 10:24 AM
  #5
Another point is that when I apply to a position, I probably come across as desperate, especially if I am overqualified for that position. Another reason to not to consider me.

The other day I was talking to someone, and I told him how I feel depressed and frustrated that I am unemployed and cannot get anything, especially I am seeing others doing well in their jobs or at least have one, he basically invalidated my feelings by telling me you don't know what's going on in their lives. Well, yes, I don't know what's going on in their lives, as no one knows what's going on in my life and what I went through. Everyone has his/her own package in life. But I was talking specifically about having a basic thing in life to get by: a job. I wasn't discussing how they seem happy in their lives or not. Then he started to imply that I am envious of others (WTF)!!!! Another person when I told him how I feel and what I am going through, he basically replied that he is stressed out in his job!! OK, we can talk about this, but at least acknowledge what I said!! Nothing. And this person when we were in college he was calling me everyday for at least an hour, and ask for my help when he needed help, and visited me all the time. Now he barely recognizes me. I feel when someone is not working others start to look down at him/her. That he/she is inferior, and to be honest that's how I feel most of the time these days. One person I sent email to to ask for his guidance and suggestion, and told him to call me anytime, when he called he told me people who are available all the time (he meant me obviously) are desperate!! OK, I know that I am desperate for help and for a job, but telling me that I am desperate in my face was hurtful!! Besides, I wanted him to call me at his convenience, because I am the one needed his help, but instead he told me I am desperate. At the end he told me just to edit my resume!! As I haven't done that 100s of times. Thanks for your valuable time.

Last edited by Anonymous40099; Jul 19, 2019 at 10:41 AM..
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 12:25 PM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Nxious View Post
I contacted the career counseling department in my university, but they told me after 5 years from graduation we don't give help, and they gave me the name of a governmental employment service agency that help people find jobs where I live, which I went to for 4 months taking workshops and 1-on-1 training with a trainer, but all was useless.

I would work anything that requires reasonable mental effort and pay the bills. I don't want to deal with customers because I am terrible with people and have no patience, and the physical work is not for me (I have back problems).

I thought of getting another master degree in computer science with specialization in machine learning, but it seemed too much of a road to take after my 7-year graduate studies, and I would need a financial assistance or a scholarship as I have tight budget!!

Also, I don't think in my current mental state I could sit and read for hours as I used to do. I am learning things alone though on my pace and as much as I can. I only have academic experience (research), and even another degree would put me on square one again.

I once applied to a position in the industry in my field, and the recruiter replied rather coldly "we are not looking for people with academic experience only"!! OK, but if no one is looking for people with academic experience only like me, where can I get this industrial experience?!! and when I apply to junior positions, they think I am overqualified to take a job that requires Bachelor's degree!!

I am confused and clueless to what else I can do.
Wow. So your university's career center puts a cap on helping alumni find a job? That's bogus! I'm 48 and graduated from my university's grad program in 2013 and can still make appointments at the career center there for help finding a job and I can contact alumni in my city to ask them to help me find a job too. Nothing's come up yet from that, but those are options. That STINKS that your university's career center won't help you after 5 years. That seems very suspicious to me.

I say go for that second masters in computer science and work if you know it will help you get a job in a field/industry you have an interest in. Yes, you'll have to read a lot but you can find resources to help you (also, most grad school classes put students into 'cohorts' or study groups for the entire course, so you can break up reading assignments by person in your cohort group and get notes from other group members that summarize the other parts of the reading assignments).

It's a good choice and screw it, just take out student loans. Did you know, that if you are on social security, student loan lenders CANT take that money from you. And, even if you are on SS and work a part-time job, you can do IBR -- income based repayment or apply for financial hardship and defer your student loans. So, really think about going back to grad school if you know your other options for employment are limited. It can totally open up new employment opportunities for you -- grad school.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nxious View Post
Another point is that when I apply to a position, I probably come across as desperate, especially if I am overqualified for that position. Another reason to not to consider me.

The other day I was talking to someone, and I told him how I feel depressed and frustrated that I am unemployed and cannot get anything, especially I am seeing others doing well in their jobs or at least have one, he basically invalidated my feelings by telling me you don't know what's going on in their lives. Well, yes, I don't know what's going on in their lives, as no one knows what's going on in my life and what I went through.

Everyone has his/her own package in life. But I was talking specifically about having a basic thing in life to get by: a job. I wasn't discussing how they seem happy in their lives or not.

Then he started to imply that I am envious of others (WTF)!!!! Another person when I told him how I feel and what I am going through, he basically replied that he is stressed out in his job!! OK, we can talk about this, but at least acknowledge what I said!! Nothing.

And this person when we were in college he was calling me everyday for at least an hour, and ask for my help when he needed help, and visited me all the time. Now he barely recognizes me. I feel when someone is not working others start to look down at him/her.

That he/she is inferior, and to be honest that's how I feel most of the time these days. One person I sent email to to ask for his guidance and suggestion, and told him to call me anytime, when he called he told me people who are available all the time (he meant me obviously) are desperate!!

OK, I know that I am desperate for help and for a job, but telling me that I am desperate in my face was hurtful!! Besides, I wanted him to call me at his convenience, because I am the one needed his help, but instead he told me I am desperate. At the end he told me just to edit my resume!! As I haven't done that 100s of times. Thanks for your valuable time.
You sound just like me. Your friend sounds like everyone else who has a stable job -- very insensitive and doesn't understand the long-term effects of not being employed. I gave up confiding in family and friends about my employment situation exactly because of what you experienced with this friend of yours.

They just don't get it and are totally insensitive to our situation b/c they are 1) glad they're not in our situation and 2) don't want to offer us empathy b/c they think we are lazy or not trying hard enough etc. etc. because they are just clueless and at the end of the day, people are judgmental jerks.

Do not take it personally what this idiot said to you.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 12:28 PM
  #7
Have you looked into temp or contract jobs ? I apologize if you already tried that. I once took a 3 month job just to get working again after being let go from a great job. It was a lower level job and it helped me gain some confidence for interviews afterward. Some employers are quicker to hire temporary people with limited experience.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 07:54 PM
  #8
Yes, they told me they offer help to current students who are about to graduate only. After I graduate and my student no. is no longer valid, they stop offering advice and help, and direct the students to other public agencies. This is how it works here. I registered in the Alumni website and made a profile there once. I am not sure why I didn't go back, maybe because there was no one using it or there was no activity. I forgot to be honest.

Yes, I get the feeling that the people I reach out to think they are more deserving than me. I am sure there was someone who helped them, but again because they are more deserving. Even my academic supervisor probably thinks I don't deserve to be helped, although I did fairly well in my dissertation with him, but he knows I didn't do well afterwards.

I was hoping to find a job an advance in my career in these 2 years. But it's still an option to get another master degree. A degree in CS is more in demand, and could open more opportunities. I will need to study this option more carefully.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
Wow. So your university's career center puts a cap on helping alumni find a job? That's bogus! I'm 48 and graduated from my university's grad program in 2013 and can still make appointments at the career center there for help finding a job and I can contact alumni in my city to ask them to help me find a job too. Nothing's come up yet from that, but those are options. That STINKS that your university's career center won't help you after 5 years. That seems very suspicious to me.

I say go for that second masters in computer science and work if you know it will help you get a job in a field/industry you have an interest in. Yes, you'll have to read a lot but you can find resources to help you (also, most grad school classes put students into 'cohorts' or study groups for the entire course, so you can break up reading assignments by person in your cohort group and get notes from other group members that summarize the other parts of the reading assignments).

It's a good choice and screw it, just take out student loans. Did you know, that if you are on social security, student loan lenders CANT take that money from you. And, even if you are on SS and work a part-time job, you can do IBR -- income based repayment or apply for financial hardship and defer your student loans. So, really think about going back to grad school if you know your other options for employment are limited. It can totally open up new employment opportunities for you -- grad school.


You sound just like me. Your friend sounds like everyone else who has a stable job -- very insensitive and doesn't understand the long-term effects of not being employed. I gave up confiding in family and friends about my employment situation exactly because of what you experienced with this friend of yours.

They just don't get it and are totally insensitive to our situation b/c they are 1) glad they're not in our situation and 2) don't want to offer us empathy b/c they think we are lazy or not trying hard enough etc. etc. because they are just clueless and at the end of the day, people are judgmental jerks.

Do not take it personally what this idiot said to you.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 08:16 PM
  #9
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Have you looked into temp or contract jobs ? I apologize if you already tried that. I once took a 3 month job just to get working again after being let go from a great job. It was a lower level job and it helped me gain some confidence for interviews afterward. Some employers are quicker to hire temporary people with limited experience.
The job I had was a contract job. I once thought of tutoring school students, which I think something I can do, but one I knew who worked like that before told me it's time consuming and doesn't pay the bills and not stable. I am willing to do anything that doesn't require excessive physical effort, and pay the bills. I think data entry is an option, but I don't have confidence that they will select me to even that position, as most ask for at least one year experience!! Freelancing is another option but it's more competitive and you have to build a profile of projects and pitch your proposals to the available projects... etc.

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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 08:18 PM
  #10
Master's here as well and unemployed for a year--full time/permanent position wise. While I've had a few interviews, they always result in me getting overlooked. Pretty much said screw it and am currently getting on board as an online contractor for an international company based in China. The work isn't exactly in my field of study nor is it permanent. But, I don't have time to play the 'numbers game' for this unrealistic job market and am in need of some flow of income.

I also can relate to encountering most of my classmates being employed full-time whereas I'm not. A lot of them came from more privileged backgrounds in terms of experience and professional connection since their days of undergrad. Yet, my undergrad was in a dead-end rural state I wasn't able to gain 5+ internships in my particular field like them. In my current field, nepotism and 'knowing the right people' also seems to be the only way to make it as well. I'm 27 and have plans to go back to school for something more complex, technical, and in-demand like Electrical Engineering or something.
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Default Jul 20, 2019 at 12:45 AM
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Master's here as well and unemployed for a year--full time/permanent position wise. While I've had a few interviews, they always result in me getting overlooked. Pretty much said screw it and am currently getting on board as an online contractor for an international company based in China. The work isn't exactly in my field of study nor is it permanent. But, I don't have time to play the 'numbers game' for this unrealistic job market and am in need of some flow of income.

I also can relate to encountering most of my classmates being employed full-time whereas I'm not. A lot of them came from more privileged backgrounds in terms of experience and professional connection since their days of undergrad. Yet, my undergrad was in a dead-end rural state I wasn't able to gain 5+ internships in my particular field like them. In my current field, nepotism and 'knowing the right people' also seems to be the only way to make it as well. I'm 27 and have plans to go back to school for something more complex, technical, and in-demand like Electrical Engineering or something.
I believe all fields need connections, either through family or using your social skills. I don't have both.

What do you want to specialize in in EE? I would suggest to look at the posted jobs and study the prospects before you make any jump back to school. I wasn't planning ahead in my case. I chose my engineering major because I like mathematics, now I struggle to find a job. But in my case it also has to do with my depression and social anxiety.
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Default Jul 24, 2019 at 08:58 AM
  #12
Do you have an engineering degree now?

I do not think another degree in computer science would help you. You would wind up with an advanced degree but no work experience which would probably turn employers off. Before going the degree route, I would try getting a job in computer science. Degrees don't matter that much in that field.
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Default Jul 24, 2019 at 12:37 PM
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Do you have an engineering degree now?

I do not think another degree in computer science would help you. You would wind up with an advanced degree but no work experience which would probably turn employers off. Before going the degree route, I would try getting a job in computer science. Degrees don't matter that much in that field.
That what I was thinking. More degrees without no experience probably won't solve the problem. I have been trying to break into the data science field, but it has been difficult. It's a highly competitive and hyped field, and it seems recruiters and hiring managers tie it with CS mostly, and they focus on how to use the software tools and manage your code than understanding the underlying mathematical theory of statistics and machine learning!!
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Default Jul 25, 2019 at 06:18 AM
  #14
Oooh, that is a great field! And it's very poorly understood by many recruiters and companies - I have some friends who do that work and have heard them talk about the problem you describe. Companies often don't understand that there is a difference between programmers and statisticians and they hire one when they want the other or need both. It seems like the best way to get your foot in the door is through contract work.
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