Need Advice For Career thanks....

Hello, I'm new here....I guess this seems odd to me. I've done therapy before in the past but now I'm home again and can't afford it right now. I've tried looking at million online therapy sites but they all say "free" but then really they want you to "pay" and that has been frustrating me. Luckily I found this site, it may not be a real therapist thing but it seems to help others and I hope I can find help in it as well as help others too.

Currently I finished college and I had my first real time big adult job in another state away from home. I thought I was ready for it, I was so excited for the job and everything. But then....everything seemed to go downhill. I was very lonely, no matter what I tried in making friends, no one seemed to like me. Am I doing something wrong? I always try to be friendly and try to respect everyone, no matter how old. Am I too forward? I always am honest about who I am and what I'm into and all that. I'm not two faced basically. Anyway some stuff went down between and elder employer and I who had no respect for me even though I was just trying to do my job. After awhile, I just started feeling out casted in my work group and even more lonely. I was away from home, and getting use to working a full time physical manual labor job. Eventually depression hit me. I almost wanted to cut myself but I walked away and told my sister about it, who told my mom and now I'm home.

My parents say they aren't disappointed or mad, they are more worried and concerned, but I can't help but feel they are mad and that I've made a bad decision. I tried to leave the job the right way, looking for one while I was there and trying to get one before leaving. However, because of those circumstances I am now at home without a job and had some interviews but each time have been turned down. All employers who have interviewed me said they liked my back ground and that I was a generally nice person, but again, they turned me down. Am I doing something wrong? Now I'm sitting at home, scared to ask my parents about going into therapy again because my mom doesn't like to talk about the subject. I also can't afford it either. I'm also sitting at home, about to work two days a week at a place I don't like working at because I can't get something in my field, and I feel like I'm faking happiness. I am happier that I'm home with my fam again, I feel more involved, but I still feel lonely, sadden and worst of all, I blame myself for everything even if something wasn't my fault....what can I do to help myself?

Sorry for the long rant, but the back story had to be in there so you had an understanding of what was going and why I am facing depression and anxiety. Any advice would be great, thank you.