Mental health getting in the way

I got back from a trip for school and my mental health is in jeopardy. I don't know what to do or what to say.

Heres what's going on.

I am having sui thoughts, si and have gotten into addiction mode (relapsed). Work would add stress as my paper for school isn't done. and I can't focus.

I can't take FMLA. because I haven't worked long enough. I have one more day off and then I call again. I need time to deal with me before I handle others and make a mess of their lives. I"m stuck.

Any advice or thoughts. I have talked to my T today and we are trying to keep me from going into the hospital but it may be the best place to deal with the work situation. I don't know.

IS there hope?

Please keep reaching out and don’t stay alone while you feel this way.

There’s always hope. Sometimes we don’t know what to do or how to even get started but there’s always hope. Always believe in and have hope for yourself. If you think going into the hospital would be best then do that.

Keep reaching out to others. I wish you all the best.

I almost need to reach out tonight. I'm hurting so much that sleep sounds better than being awake! I'm really down and trying not to think about sui. I've been trying to distract. Is it that bad though? I think I'm past feeling. Does that make sense? I want relief but it's not insight! It's many sessions away! How can I have hope?

In my opinion, there is no mental health crisis so bad it can't be made 8000 times worse by the addition of drugs and alcohol. Do you have a sponsor? Know anyone in the program? Can you get to a meeting to get some in-person support? It's urgent.

Do you have a therapist or pdoc? If so, please see them. If not, you need them. Maybe there's an urgent mental health care place in your community--that might be a place to go. In any event, you are going to need to take some action to get out of this and I know that's hard when you feel as you do. Please keep posting and let us know what is happening. And please find a meeting!

I only have so much time and fitting everything that I need to do is way to difficult. I know that sounds like an excuse but I only have so much energy. I see my pdoc this Wednesday. I see my T on Friday. I Was hoping for sooner but it may not happen. I have scheduled some massages over the next few weeks. I need to fit in as much self-care as possible. I do have a sponsor and she knows what's going on. I've covered the basics but it's not enough. I still feel the same way, depressed and low energy. I am trying to get everything in but it's not working.

I have grad school, religion, recovery, work, family time and self-care time. I do what I can with what I have. Meds sometimes help but I can't go into the ER again with this job or they will fire me. It's very sad that would happen given the fact that it is a mental health hospital for kids, but the company needs the bodies. I put time in here only when I have a few minutes as I can't do everything. I'm not a super human. i"m just me.

And you are doing an awesome job. You are. You're doing everything you should be doing, as far as I can tell. Who knows, maybe it's time for a bit of a med change. That could possibly help. You'll just have to see. In the mean time, I personally would try to hit a meeting, if at all possible with your busy schedule. There's usually such good support at those, I find. And keep in touch with your sponsor. Maybe a sponsor coffee time would be appropriate, if you can fit it in.

I struggled with addiction for many years. It's an albatross, in my opinion. But the basic things do, in fact, work. Sponsor. Meetings. Steps. Don't drink and use in between. That's pretty much it. I know it's hard, but you can do it. I know you can. Just keep it simple. And get some support from people in the program. They've all been right where you are, more or less. If they can do it, you can do it.

I have been sober for 11 years, but my mental health is another issue. I am right now struggling with sui ideation that just will not go away. It is eating at me. I feel for you, I do. Don't give in to it. Don't let it win. Your disease is trying to kill you. Do not allow that to happen. Things can and will get better with a bit of time and some combination of interventions/changes. Progress will be made. And you will get better.

You have a ton on your plate and are facing some monsters. But you can do this. It is difficult, but you can do it. Just don't give up. See if you can get this addiction thing headed back in the right direction. That will help. And see what happens at these upcoming appointments. Things will turn around for you just as they have for many other people, if you just don't throw in the towel. Praying for you and wishing you the very best!

I talked with my T today... And I am thinking about cutting hours down to 20 or so. I don't know how the employer will feel. I'm hesitant to change. Which is a theme for me. I am so stressed and not taking adequate care of myself. I'm also hesitant because I do like earning more money.

Or the other option is to change positions and go back to what I was doing before only with a different company.

I don't know what I'm doing at work which doesn't help either and I have been there for about 2 months.

I need to reduce stress and with the school disposition plan I wonder how much I can take. I think I'll think about it for a little bit.