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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 05:47 PM
  #1
I never was lucky enough to get a job that lasted 30 years. It just happened that I'd have a job here or there but never for very long. It's a combination of my choices, plus circumstances outside of my control.

Being fired last week derailed my plans to move out and I lost money in the process. When you put a deposit down on a place but cancel, you are charged a break lease fee and you lose your deposit. I'm getting the ole run around from my landlord via his lackey, who emails me "He's out of the country right now" when I ask her when I'll get my rent money back that they legally have to return to me. I can get it back by going to small claims court and will if they string me along more than a couple of weeks.

And I started a temp job today that is another front office type admin role that paid less than the full time job I had for 5 weeks. They are looking for someone to hire full time but needed a temp in the meantime. They couldn't promise me they'd hire me, so all I can control is how well I do while I'm there in a temp capacity. I hope they decide to hire me. But I can't control other people's choices.

I'm going to ask my roommate (the one I posted about here) if I can continue to rent from her throughout the winter until I get my spring graduate school financial aid refund check. So, I've put up with this weirdness from her never leaving her room for 4 months. I think can put up with it for another 3 months, because it would be better than sleeping in my SUV during the winter when it gets to be -35 F outside.

I'm scared to ask her but I have no choice. If she says no, I'll have to find another roommate situation for December 1st.

How many transitions can a person go through, before it becomes too much?!

I'm nearly 50 and this is ridiculous! I just want stability; financial stability, housing stability, social stability.

Why is stability so difficult to obtain? I don't get it!
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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 06:38 AM
  #2
A very smart person whom I greatly respect recently informed me that in his opinion, there is no such thing as stability. Nobody stays with the same company forever anymore. Downsizing, acquisitions, mergers, economy downturns, home office moves, big changes in senior management. On and on. And on the personal side, cancer, multiple sclerosis, ALS, car crashes, infidelity, suddenly discovering you are gay even though you've been married to a person of the opposite sex for 20 years and have four kids, mental illness and addiction, death of a child. On and on.

I don't know. I had a lot of stability in my career and personal life. Until I didn't. So, maybe my pal is right. Maybe stability is just an illusion we hang onto because it makes us feel better about what is otherwise a frightening and uncertain world. A coping mechanism. I don't know, but for me and my life, that might actual sound just about right.

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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 12:31 PM
  #3
Yeah. Good saying, life is stable - until it isn't. I thought I had finally found some work stability after some erratic times of unemployment and underemployment, but as you know the last few months have turned that on its head. And, if you had told me a week ago that the country where I live would be in this sort of turmoil, in a situation where it is difficult or impossible to just carry out basic daily tasks, like getting home from work or going to a supermarket to purchase food, I would not have believed you.

There is so much we can't control in life and that can be very disconcerting. I think most of us want some idea of what is coming next and want to feel that we do have some control. I would say to try and focus on the things you can do like trying to do the best job that you can at this temp gig, so it might turn into something permanent, figuring out the best way to discuss staying in your living situation longer, etc. I wish I had better answers. Hugs and good luck!
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Default Oct 26, 2019 at 12:06 AM
  #4
Hey @StreetcarBlanche
I know they say the 7 year itch is a marriage term but I look at it more generally. I believe we can change every few years and I do not always think its bad. 7 years ago I was an active alcoholic and a selfish asshole and I promise you I am not the same person. Here I am, 44 with an English Lit degree that I have literally never been employed with. I had three kids lost my mind and went on disability. Everytime I think I can finally do something for me- some crap derails it-most recently rotator cuff surgeries. My daughter ran away and I enrolled in an intro required online class for pre-teaching certification and lost the 250$ because I couldnt get it together. Last May I started the process for substitute teaching and had the first shoulder done. We started to remodel a room and everything in the house seemed to break one after the other. I do not choose to look at it as bad luck or some punishment or that I did something- its just the path I am on now and I accept it. Acceptance is key. I hate it but if its eventual I practice accepting it. You seem like a great person who has been dicked around way to much. You are willing to be self introspective and learn from mistakes and be accountable. I do not know what is wrong with people. So fake it til you make it girl. If they want someone to do certain things without any changes a certain way even if its dumb- do it, smile and do it. Even when you and anyone with a brain knows it would be better another way- F it. Just play the game as if you are the star player and love every second of it. Hopefully this pans out for you into a FT postion that you can actually contribute to the business with your skills.

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Default Oct 27, 2019 at 06:13 PM
  #5
Hey sarah I agree with you that we constantly change as people; whether it's jobs, beliefs, values, friendships, romantic relationships. I think you've come a long way and aren't the same person you were 7 years ago.

I do feel like I've been dicked around A LOT by these temp agencies, by that company that hired/fired me in 5 weeks, and some bad friendships that ended this year too. Even my group in my grad school class right now are all dicks to me. I emailed my prof today to tell her that its 3-against-1 and I am nearly done with the class and a majority of our grade is based on our group project outcome. So, hopefully the prof. will let me deviate and do the presentation alone and if I have to do extra work to pass her course then I will. As long as I don't have to put up with the three jerks (1 woman, 2 men) anymore who are in my group.

I just read Glassdoor reviews of the company I'm temping at and all the reviews had one thing in common: low pay. So, that's a downer to say the least. If I wouldn't have lost my full-time job, managed my fall refund from my left over financial aid better (I spent all but $2500 of it on fixing my car, paying down my collections, b/c I assumed I'd have my full-time job), then I'd be in a better place financially. But since I'm not in a stable financial place right now, I'm in a constant state of panic. And it's stressed me so much that I missed my period and developed huge cystic acne all over my face which hasn't happened in years.

I don't know what "fake it til you make it" even means. I don't know how to "play the game" either. This 30 year old girl who did the receptionist job 4 years ago, is constantly on me to be perfect and I've only been at this company for 4 days. They are judging me unrealistically hard because their last temp was terrible and only lasted the week. This role didn't even have a receptionist training manual but I created on already on Friday!! It will be very disheartening if the HR team interviews and hires another woman to be their front desk receptionist and use the training manual that I took the time to create. This week will be the 2nd week. I wish I had asked them to hire me outright instead of hire me through the temp agency when I interviewed with them on Monday of last week. But hindsight is 20/20 isn't it?

This weekend my roommate's mother and ex-husband both stopped by to try to take her in to the emergency room mental illness floor but she refused to go. She lied about not feeling well enough to go and both her mother and ex-husband just threw up their hands, got in their cars and left. Part of me thinks she'd benefit from an outpatient program that goes 5 hours a day for 3 months and I suggested as such to her family and friends but she won't do it. She doesn't think anything is wrong with her.

And I told her sister about how I could call the police and tell them I feel threatened, and that would be the only way she'd be moved and put into a longer-term mental ward (not the typical 3 day short term self-sign-in situation). But I don't want to do that if it will jeopardize me renting out her guest bedroom until I get my spring grad school tuition refund IF I can pass my current grad school course, dealing with my 3-person group jerks.

I spent 4 hours at my mom's nursing home today cleaning her room, taping photos to the back of her door that were scattered everywhere, and just hanging out with her. I took her to lunch and the service was terrible. She ordered "egg in the hole" and it's supposed to be a fried egg inside the center of a piece of toast with a hole in it. The inept cooks at this Perkins didn't even let the fried egg set before they just dripped it over the toast and left the cut out circle on top of the toast. I had a HUGE hissy fit with the manager and told him he would need to comp my mother's lunch and give her a new one. Well, he didn't comp her the cost of her meal but he did have the moron cook remake it correctly. My poor mother.

I'm also waiting for my rent money that I put down on my apt that I had to cancel and back out of after I was fired, to be refunded to me. How convenient that the landlord is "out of the country" and his lackey suddenly can't refund it to me. The guy is a slum lord! That's a lot of money!

So, I'm fed up with these transitions that happen to me like this. I don't even know if I am in the right grad program anymore. I found a better one I could apply to but it is out of state. If I applied and got the financial aid coverage, I'd have to apply for housing to live in a dorm at this university out of state and I'm nearly 50. I don't know if there is an age limit in who lives in college dorms but I'd still feel weird if that's what I had to do to transition yet again to a new start out of state.
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Default Oct 30, 2019 at 02:59 PM
  #6
So I've been taking initiative at my new temp job (2nd week so far), creating a front desk manual from the previous receptionist's notes and today the recruiter called HR to get feedback. HR's feedback was RIDICULOUS because this is what she told the recruiter:

- while the temp (me) shows great initiative, she fails to greet everyone who walks through the door and needs to really focus on doing that.

I know why the HR lady said this. She came in a few times where I was on the phone speaking with clients and looking between 2 computer screens to find information for the clients. Is she delusional? Does she think I am just going to stop what I'm doing and wave to her when my brain is focused on speaking to someone on the phone while i look up information between two databases? I swear to god, HR staff have unrealistic expectations for their front desk receptionists. We do NOT have eyes on the sides of our heads, or extra arms to wave at you with.

I'm so irritated. I also found out the HR lady is phone interviewing for the role she hired me to do as a temp.

When do I get a break? This is so infuriating to be constantly in this state of flux.
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Default Oct 30, 2019 at 03:34 PM
  #7
THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS!

So, HR lady walked up behind me just now and told me she noticed when she walked in to the office that I didn't greet her. So, I responded, "Well, I was on the phone helping customers like I am supposed to." To which she responded, "Well, that's not as important as greeting everyone who walks through the door."

This job is so beneath me. I really need to hit the pavement hard to find a job more my interest and skill level. I can't stand being treated this way.
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Default Nov 04, 2019 at 09:01 AM
  #8
Yeah, that doesn't make much sense. I am sure that most, normal, people that walk in and see you are busy on the phone are capable of understanding that you will greet them and assist them as soon as you finish the phone call.

I feel every day that my job is beneath me. I hate having to defend myself to my clueless, idiot boss. Trying to explain anything to her is as productive as talking to a brick wall and triggers my (supposedly not caused by work) anxiety.

Last edited by rechu; Nov 04, 2019 at 09:02 AM.. Reason: typo
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Default Nov 04, 2019 at 08:41 PM
  #9
Right, rechu. Which brings me to a point I know that you would agree with: devisiveness in the workplace. Whether from a full-time supervisor or recruiters in a temp agency. People esp. in managerial roles, can be real aholes just because they don't like you...and it can destroy your work life and your peace of mind.

And even with laws in place that doesn't mean you can beat them at their own game.

Take me for example. One of the recruiting agencies I had 2 assignments with, both of the clients gave positive feedback about my work performance, LIED intentionally on my unemployment application telling the county that they fired me because my job skills were not good enough to be placed on assignments. Well, the two men recruiters who claim this are morons b/c I have emails from each of them touting my good work performance reviews from these 2 assignments WhICH I plan to submit with my rebuttal this week to the county unemployment office. Those two morons will wish they weren't as stupid as they are. I have their own words as proof against their blatant lies about me and I can't wait to use it against them.

I hate temping. With a passion. A new agency and a new recruiter emailed me my resume after she BUTCHERED it bragging about how she submitted me for a direct hire receptionist job. So, I'm going to burn her, by applying directly to the company WITH MY OWN RESUME. I'll let the company decide if they want to foolishly pay her while they "test" me out (which I won't allow anymore as I am in temp hell right now as a receptionist for a company that's too cheap to pay the fee to just hire me and the want to "test" me until the end of December before they consider hiring me (I will try like hell to find a full time job before then), or if they will just hire me directly.

I'm fed up with recruiters bull and temp agency politics against their own temps. It's so disgusting. I'm so done being treated like a warm body with no brains by these morons who are younger than me, with less education and less work experience. Anyone who even attempts to criticize me in this thread goes on ignore. You will not judge me unless you've walked in my shoes.
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