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WantPeaceofMind
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Trig Nov 04, 2019 at 09:45 PM
  #1
I think I am to depressed, anxious, etc Been diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and ptsd. I think I am too disabled to work I tell myself? I believe it is serious enough so I think. I got a lot of flak from parents for even considering disability. It such long story. I quit several jobs one do stress and lack of boss not accepting input quit that job after option to switch for a better paying job.only to be bullied by workers other things got another job didn't want to commute to would work graveyards, no position closer to where I lived tried put in 2 weeks only 2 days into job they said wont work and let me go. . Went to stay at parents. Had a nervous break down
Possible trigger:
Father forced me to find other job father a very hard worker starting a new job was too anxiety provoking worked a week and did not go to that job. Got upset with myself and
Possible trigger:
Called 911 took to hospital, then I made a mistake of agreeing to going to a mental health clinic didn't get help i thought I would. In that clinic i isolated most of the time ate very little. Got out of there. Went back to parents just isolated ate little making depression anxiety worse. Had counseling meds for a year and still not better. I have an apartment just too anxious to be alone in it due to what i did, and anxious about quitting another job that I have barely managed to hold due to my mental state. Parents have to wake me up to go. Late a lot lucky I still have one that I feel i cannot do. I feel i cannot work. I'm just overwhelmed with it all, no peace of mind any time at all. I think my only option is disability

Last edited by bluekoi; Nov 04, 2019 at 10:22 PM.. Reason: Add triggger icon. Apply trigger code.
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bpcyclist
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Default Nov 05, 2019 at 08:04 AM
  #2
I am really sorry you have been struggling. Very difficult dealing with the three conditions you describe. I guess the first thing I am wondering about is your therapist and psychiatrist. Where are they in all this? Have they suggested (or has anyone) a med adjustment? What meds are you currently on? Although I do not have a formal anxiety d/o diagnosis, I do have PTSD and do get mixed state bipolar 1 stuff in which panic attacks can be a prominent element. So, I have done the whole anxiety med thing. I mention this because, in me, benzos definitely make my depression worse. They are not an option for me anymore. So, I'm just wondering about how they are treating your anxiety, I guess. Maybe something like Buspar worth a shot?

Has anyone mentioned the hospital to you? Nobody ever wants to go to the hospital, I get it. But, if you are regularly a danger to yourself, it may be a pretty good place to go for a bit to work some things out pharmacologically and therapy-wise and get you on a more firm footing. I feel sure you will not want to do that, but it may potentially be in your best interest to consider it, if your SI continues. I have spent more time in the hospital than I care to acknowledge and not all of it was terrific. But it most certainly has saved my life on more than one occasion. No question about it. Just a thought.

Not sure what type of disability situation you are in. Is it SSDI? A private carrier of some sort? Is it short-term or long-term? Will the total monthly amount cover your living expenses? If not, what is the plan? If you have a disability claim approved, but then have to work to make ends meet, that immediately makes the claim very tricky. I do have a fair bit of disability insurance experience and I will just tell you that the evaluations are extremely rigorous and strict. Not trying to make you more anxious than you already are, but you need to know how this works in America today. It is no kind of chip shot, that's for sure. People you think definitely should be approved are not always ratified. So just be aware, having a serious mental illness well-documented in your chart is not a guarantee you will get paid. It is very unfair, in my opinion. But you only find out about that if you file a claim. Finally, I will just add that as a practical matter, being admitted to hospital definitely strengthens your case for a favorable disability claim. Not suggesting you attempt to make that happen for that reason, but it is the truth.

That's about it from me. I really, really think you need to have a heart to heart with your prescriber about the severity of your situation. Don't hold back. Tell it like it is. Nobody can help you if they don't know what is going on with you. Not sure of your age, but your parents' failure to appreciate the gravity of your predicament is not helping. It is even possible being alone at your place might be less stressful overall than staying at your folks and having to deal with that conflict. Do they know how bad your depression is? Do they get it? Because you do not sound to me like someone who can currently successfully hold down a job with very many hours required. Maybe others will disagree, but that is my take. Sending you positive vibes. All the best--

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When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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WantPeaceofMind
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Default Nov 19, 2019 at 11:06 PM
  #3
Thank you for your reply. Sorry it took so long get on here and there thought it would email of posts? I currently see psychiatric nurse if I remember right I am on desvanlaxfine 150 mg lamotrigine 200 mg 2 times daily buspar 30 2 times a day. I was getting counseling for most the last year then medical quit paying. I just feel a lot of guilt of what has become of all the actions I did. I had never done anything this bad, and a hard time moving on. I have a good ear my brother to get it out with. I have a dog and you would think I would need to get my act together to be able have a home and can be taken care of by me to provide all his needs. So we both have our own space like we used to. I was embarrassed by my brother telling every one about my attempt which I am so self conscious that I find it hard to face them or hang like i used to. I currently don't like the job i got myself into with all the feelings I have to deal with. It takes every ounce of will for me to go. But if I don't I am afraid to get kicked out. The weird thing is I have been paying for an apartment while living at my parents for almost a year now. I hate feeling and thinking this way. I want things to be normal like it used to be. Which is a big cause for regret guilt and ruminations of what I did to get myself where I am. Thanks again for your reply!
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