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lucami
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: middle of nowhere/Central Europe
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#1
So.. I'm homebounded agoraphobic since I was 21.. so for a decade already.. my health isn't getting better and can't afford even going to better psychiatist or something.. so I thought I could try remote job.. found one, it's about writing articles for gaming site.. but they want curriculum vitae and cover letter.. and I have no idea how to write those.. does anyone wrote that crap while being after 30 and having no skills, studies, working experience? I'm trying and trying to write those but having nothing to put in it stresses me so much I only keep ending up with horrible anxiety..
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Legendary
bpcyclist
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#2
Hey, lucami. I am so sorry you are struggling. I was just wondering, what was it about this specific job that got you thinking you might want to do it? Do you have some skill that would help you do this job? Computer skills, maybe?
It is not hard to write an organized CV, but if you have not gone to school and do not have work experience or other acquired skills, it will be more complicated to find that job you are seeking. But don't give up. Just, sort of, tell us a little more. Then, we can probably help you better. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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lucami
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#3
Well it's a first job I saw that practically has no any serious requirements, you just have to like videogames and have basic knowledge about Microsoft word and paint, and basic English.. and I like video games a lot, keep playing them everyday..
I went to technical high school and passed all exams, got title of garment technologist.. then started to study fashion design, but had to quit after 6 months because of severe panic attacks.. well after quitting uni I got a little bit better for a moment so I used to sew clothes for shop with alternative clothing, but just only for one month because panic attacks came back.. besides that, I like to draw, but don't feel like I'm good enough for making money out of it.. __________________ |
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bpcyclist
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#4
I am so sorry about your panic attacks. I have them, too, sometimes. Very hard to do any kind of work when you are having them. So, are you still having them? Or are your meds pretty much controlling them for you. I used to take clonazepam and it worked great, but it left me sleepy all the time.
So, you like video games, huh? Well, your English is obviously very good, so that won't be an issue. Do you think you have the panic attacks well in hand now? __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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luvyrself
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#5
In your first response to bpcyclist, you have actually started writing your cv. Just start writing it down. I find using two columns looks more impressive. Give as much detail as you can. I think you have enough for a really good cv for that job.!
In your cover letter, say why you want that job and why you would be good at it. If you are interested, excited about it and want to do well, that will come through. __________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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lucami
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#6
Bpcyclist yeah I still have them all the f. time.. for all of this years I'm not going anywhere besides doctor appointments.. used to go at least few steps from the door when I had my beloved dog.. but since he passed away 23th November.. I've been outside only twice because horrible tooth pain made me go to the dentist.. besides that I struggle with even going to the kitchen.. tried different meds, psychotherapy, been 6 months in mental hospital, been to different psychiatists and heard so many different diagnosis.. lost the best years of my freaking life, now lost my dog.. gosh it's all pointless I don't know why I even though about this job when getting up from a bed is my the biggest achievement..
Yeah. I like video games with good story.. when my character in game sees the world, makes friends, has many amazing adventures, it's the only time I feel alive because I missed stuff like that in real life.. how pathetic is that?.. Luvyrself I don't think there's enough stuff I could put in two columns.. and that big, 10 years gap.. my CV basically ends around 2010.. somehow I went to interview once in 2012, and already been asked a looot why I did nothing in this 2 years.. I don't know, need a job because I can't afford food and my body is so thin that it hurts but I shouldn't put it in cover letter huh... and to be honest I don't see myself in this kind of job or any other.. so dunno what to write.. 'i would be good at it cause I have no skills but would be good because of reasons'?.. I don't know, I'm too old to achieve things I wanted anyway and have no reason to live, this idea with trying to apply for a job feels so stupid for me right now.. dunno why I even made this topic.. __________________ |
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bpcyclist
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#7
Look, age is basically meaningless, within reason, these days. Unless you are a professional athlete or fashion model. Frank McCourt won the Pulitzer Freaking Prize for Angela's Ashes. It was published when he was 66 years old. I guess he should have just thrown in the towel when it was hard and he was 44.
Are you eating? Do you have any food? I am not shaming you. I have had moments in my adult life where I had zero food and 17 cents in my bank account and was selling what few belongings I had to try to survive. If you don't have food, we need to develop a strategy for that, in addition to trying to support you as you deal with your illness and any potential job situation. Don't give up. You have support here. Have you gone over to the Anxiety forum, by any chance? If not, please, please do that. Those people know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I really think you should check them pout. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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lucami
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lucami
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#8
Heh ironically, I used to be a catwalk model for a moment.. McCourt was one of few, most people won't achieve things like that ever.. and imo age matters, like I'm a woman, won't be able to have kids at some point.. and everyone moved on, I missed out so many things.. even if agoraphobia would suddenly go away and i would start going out like before, people I used to spend time with don't have time for me anymore.. they after that phase..
Right now I eat mostly instant food.. I try to sell some stuff too and then buy something better, but it doesn't do much since I have big appetite and fast metabolism.. so fast that doc said I should eat more than most people to stay healthy.. so I need a job to afford food.. Yeah been there, in other forums too since anxiety and panic is just a top of an iceberg.. had mental support there which is nice, but no solutions.. __________________ |
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bpcyclist
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#9
That is funny about the fashion model thing--I obviously had no idea! Did you try EMDR before?
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lucami
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#10
Hehe yep.. No I didnt do emdr yet since in my city only psychdynamic and analytical psychotherapies are covered by insurance, cbt and emdr are not..
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bpcyclist
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#11
What resources are there in your area that we could get you to to try and move you through this debilitating condition? I don't think trying to do it on your own is very feasible. There's got to be some other help somewhere and we've got to find it.
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#12
lucami, if you have any money you could always pay a professional resume writing service to write your curriculum vitae and your resume for you to send out to the editor of that video game website. The trick to freelance writing is to start with one article, one editor as your reference to get to the next editor, and the next article. You can join freelance websites like UpWork where you can barter for freelance remote work. But first, you have to create your Upwork online profile. Again you can hire someone to do this for you if you are "stuck" with your content. That's what I would do, since you said you are homebounded agoraphobic (sorry to hear, that has to be tough).
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