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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#41
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__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#42
It's unfortunate but "some" companies/individuals can be like that. When you see that dynamic taking place, that's when you do whatever you can to maintain your job and keep looking for a new place of employment.
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Wise Elder
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#43
what's also unfortunate is that I feel uninspired each and every day there because the leadership is so poor.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#44
ARGH!!! I am SO angry and pissed off right now. Our team manager, who is NOT our boss, blew up at me this morning over something. It was either about something I did, or something that had absolutely zero to do with me, and I really do not even know. But I got SO upset, that I closed my computer and said "fine, sorry I pissed you off.." then I walked out of the room and told him we didn't need to meet anymore, because clearly he was SO put out by having to meet with me.
He is a CRAPPY leader of our team, or whatever the F his role is. We've been told he is supposed to "consult" with us/my team members. I've also been told htat he and I can be considered as "equals" in terms of our expertise. There is no role clarity, however, and he tried to dictate the next steps with one of my clients, which I happened to disagree with, and I took a different direction on, based on the client's most recent and shifting needs. Maybe that pissed him off. I am guessing perhaps it did. But did he need to blow up at me????? NO. It was totally unprofessional and uncalled for. I am beside myself with this f-ing company. I am SO done. I took a half day off, at the suggestion of our business manager. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Open Eyes, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: Northeast USA
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#45
Well, if you walked away from that experience not knowing what was wrong or even if you did something wrong or not, that means this other individual has poor communication skills.
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Wise Elder
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#46
Oh yes he sure does have communication problems. He's the one who called the meeting with me, then told me I was wasting his time. What an A-hole. I hate him! Absolutely HATE HIM!
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
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#47
What this ALL boils down to: BOTH my manager AND my boss feel threatened by me because I have FAR more years of experience in the field than they do, I threaten their job security because I show leadership skills AND potential AND because I am FAR better at our job than they are! AND on top of that they BOTH have inflated MALE EGOS that I must maneuver around and placate!!!! F- this F- me. I hate this place with a freaking PASSION!!!!!!!!!!!! Get me the hell OUT.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#48
Well, given that they feel threatened, they may try to bait you to get upset so they can complain that YOU are the one that is the problem and gets too emotional. And that is something practiced by both males AND females. You can run into that anywhere and it can take time to learn how to defuse that kind of individual even though you want to punch their lights out.
I have dealt with someone so toxic as you know and what you describe is mild in comparisson. I manage to maintain a calm, yet afterwards can struggle. People who have ego problems like to find ways to get others emotional and out of sorts and uncomfortable. |
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Wise Elder
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#49
If anyone asks, I will say he became unprofessional with me. My manager BLEW UP at me, and if I get blamed for reacting to that? F-it and F-them. I am sick and tired of being constantly disrespected.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 24, 2020 at 05:05 PM.. |
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#50
Hope if you dont mine sharing in general what kind of work do you do? You can pm if you want. I am one of those people who are really good at finding stuff out on the internet and if you were looking to screen for another job I could help.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#51
Quote:
Thanks, @sarahsweets that's really sweet of you, like your name! haha. It would be too hard. I'm looking for a very specific kind of job so it's easiest if I do the searches. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#52
I feel like submitting a formal complaint against my co worker. I think I will. He shouldn’t be able to get away with that.
I’m supposed to meet with him Monday afternoon again, and I don’t feel comfortable being in a room alone with him. I think it may even be a case of sexism here. I’m going to HR about it. Enough is enough. This isn’t the first time he’s been disrespectful towards me. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 25, 2020 at 10:19 AM.. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#53
You will need to be careful what you say to HR. I am not sure coming out with "this is sexism and I won't have it" will serve you well. It may sound an alarm that you are a risk and an HR's first loyalty is protecting the company from possible risks.
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Wise Elder
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#54
If I get fired for blowing the whistle on a hostile work environment, I will probably have a legal case against them. I am not using the words "sexism", I am using the words "hostile, angry, disrespectful and intimidating".
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#55
" Employers cannot retaliate against an employee for reporting a hostile work environment or for filing a claim against the employer."
If they fire me, I have a legal case against them. I am carefully wording my complaint to cover the bases legally and to use legal terminology (ie I felt intimidated by his anger and animosity towards me, and that it directly affected my job performance) that shows a hostile work environment that has legal grounds. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#56
Document, document, document.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
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#57
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#58
I understand your anger Hope. I am not telling you what to do or not to do either. What I feel is important when it comes to the bigger picture is "how or if" this can affect your ability to be hired elsewhere. There are certainly times where a person may not be hired due to the risk of that person creating waves that may have a negative affect EVEN when that person is in the right when they decide to take action and speak up.
At this point from what you have shared and how this incident happened when you were alone with the other person, it's a he said she said. It is these type of incidents that can come back at you in a negative way. There is no witness, and you don't have a recording of what was said to you either. If this individual is not nice to you as you have described, what you can do is get a device where you can record any conversations you experience when you are alone with this person. Either that or make sure you are not in a position where you are alone with the person. (I still think it's wise to have some kind of recording device you can have with you just in case). |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#59
Thanks, however, I don't need fear to be instilled in me when I am standing up for myself and for respect in the workplace. They cannot fire me, and this will not affect my ability to be hired elsewhere. I have strong credentials. I appreciate the concern, but I am moving forward with this. This A-hole has disrespected me too many times. Why is it people are SO damned afraid to stand up for themselves?
Please: I do not wish to debate about this or to have to defend myself on here that I am standing up for myself in a hostile work environment. I would simply like to be supported in this matter, if anyone else decides to reply. Thanks! __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 25, 2020 at 05:27 PM.. |
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Legendary
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#60
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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