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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#1
This is a vent, but I have a feeling this is a very common issue in a corporate work environment.
I have a strong work ethic, I work hard and I am very efficient in my job. I carry the heftiest workload on my entire team, mainly because I can handle it. Others on my team have to be consulted on their time management. The leadership in my company stinks, from the CEO downwards. I do not see any leader taking full ownership of their roles. The mentality is "someone else can do it". There really is NO proper leadership in my entire company. My boss is extremely lazy, he goofs off practically all day long and distracts our team all the freaking time with nonsense and non-work related conversations. I have to keep my headphones on to get my work done and to drown out the constant chatter. I seem to be the only person truly working in my whole group. Well, I volunteered 2 months ago to help out another team on a task because they were struggling to succeed. So I helped them with this task, and I basically saved the day for them. Since then, no one from that team, including their boss, has taken ownership of that task. So what happens? I now OWN IT. It is now my full responsibility, when I already have a hefty workload, and when I expected to only help them out that one time. Not only that, but I have to now work over holidays and days off in order to work on this extra task for that team, when normally I wouldn't have to work on any days off because no one on my team does. So I am bitter and resentful, and I realize it's my own fault for even volunteering . my help in the first place. But it also points out the fact that people in my company take full advantage of a strong work ethic AND of someone's goodwill. I plan on approaching my boss to tell him that this is not fair, it is not right, that I have a full workload and did not anticipate when I offered help that I would then be fully responsible for this task. I will tell him that no one else on my team had to work over the holiday, so why do I have to? I will also offer to train someone on that team to take over this task for me, and I know someone who expressed an interest. So at least I have a solution rather than me just refusing to continue to do this task. But I have got to put my foot down with him, and set a firm boundary. It's the principle of the matter that gets to me the most. And IF he gives me crap, I will take it higher than him, if I need to. I don't even care. I am at the point of sheer disgust, and I feel that I have got to make a stand or else these people will trample all over me, using me, abusing me and taking full advantage of me. I am sick and tired of it all. I really hate my company in some ways. And it's already unfair because I carry the largest workload on my entire team and am stretched very thin. I don't see anyone else stressing about trying to get all their work done, except for me. It's an unequal distribution of work, and I blame my boss for mismanaging our workloads. It's total BS. I am just trying to survive there until I can find another position. IF the CEO promotes me to a leadership role, like he hinted around and expressed an interest in doing, I would run things VERY differently. Thanks for listening. Any supportive comments are welcome. But please don't come down on me, I am already in a frazzled state. Thank you. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Dec 24, 2019 at 08:59 AM.. |
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ARaven0137, Purple,Violet,Blue, unaluna
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ARaven0137, LilyMop
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#2
@Have Hope
I have definitely been where you are. Several times. It wasn’t that long ago I had to really speak up and I’m still feeling a bit shaken up by it all. All this stress can really make a mess of your emotions. I started losing sleep. Do you at least have a few coworkers you can commiserate with? I have a few friends at work and it helps to check in with them now and then. We try to encourage and support each other when there is stress and we also remind each other that we aren’t crazy... it really is the toxic work environment and not that we are totally crazy. That has helped me a lot. There have been times, though, I had absolutely no coworkers I could trust or talk to and that is especially hard. Hopefully you can have a good conversation with your leadership. Anger is a motivator so that’s helpful sometimes. Stay professional, direct and choose your words carefully. Take deep breaths. Take some long walks. Have confidence in yourself. Try to keep cool and level-headed and it will work out. |
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Have Hope
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#3
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I am trying to calm myself so that when I DO have this talk with my boss, I am exactly as you advised. I'm afraid I may blow my lid though in frustration, so I need to wait until the right time when i am not as angry and upset. I do not have any confidantes at work. I had one, and he left the company recently. There is no one else I can talk to unfortunately. So I am all alone with my frustrations. It SUCKS. I do have good friends outside of work and my family and husband, so I vent to them. So that's good at least. But it's really hard to be alone with it while at work. Really hard. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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LilyMop
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Wise Elder
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#4
I've obsessed all day about this. It is ruining Christmas for me. I do not know how to put it all aside and compartmentalize. There's so many issues at work, it's making me feel mentally ill and depressed.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Human
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#5
Well, with the day off, maybe it's a day to send out resumes and cover letters? Or at least prep them. Maybe don't hit send until Monday. Just because sending it on Christmas Day smells of desperation.
__________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#6
Since there are multiple issues at work that create your toxic work environment, can you write a list of each issue, and then try to brainstorm ways that you can enlist help from your coworkers to resolve those issues?
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#7
Thanks, Seesaw. I will start looking after the new year.... it's a good time to start. I've got to somehow get the energy together to do this.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#8
Thanks, Blanche. That's a good idea, though most of the issues stem from poor leadership and mostly from my own boss. There's no one I can really brainstorm with or confide in anymore. My one confidante left the company. Most are too new, and everyone talks. I can approach my CEO though at some point again for another conversation -- he had last told me that I belong in leadership and that it's my next step. I am beginning to think I should just find another job, but that could take six months. I can look at it two ways: I could potentially move into a leadership role and make some great changes in the company (there's a lot of opportunity for change and improvements); or I could give up and look elsewhere. I feel like giving up. It feels like too big of a battle. Or I could just be tired.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
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#9
Somehow, I have to approach my boss to let him know I don't want to carry this extra task that I volunteered my help on for a different team. I have a solution: someone from that team expressed interest in the task, so I could train them on it and hand it over to them. But how do I let my boss know (without sounding like a jerk) that I don't want to continue volunteering my help? Especially when I already have a full plate? This task and my help with it was meant to be a one time thing (in my mind)... not for the lifetime of that task.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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LilyMop
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#10
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Well you don’t sound like a jerk when you are explaining it to us. Tell him like you are telling us. |
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Have Hope, lizardlady
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Wise Elder
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#11
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__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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LilyMop
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#12
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Spark Creative Confidence Leadership Theory and Practice (has case studies of each leadership style) And this is a PowerPoint slide summary of a book about leadership theory and styles. It may help you to identify what type of leader your toxic supervisor is, and how you as the follower, can survive more proactively under his toxic leadership. https://home.ubalt.edu/tmitch/642/No...7e_PPT_05.pptx Giving up should not be your first choice though. Arming yourself with information should be your first line of defense. Please go online and check out those books. They are awesome. Also, just type in "toxic leaders" and a collection of relevant book titles pops up. Maybe go to your public library and see if you can get any of these: toxic leaders book - Google Search Last edited by Anonymous48672; Dec 26, 2019 at 02:45 PM.. |
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Have Hope, sarahsweets
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#13
Here's a great article on toxic leaders:
Toxic Leaders And The Social Environments That Breed Them Quote:
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#14
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Anonymous48672
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Wise Elder
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#15
Small victory! I met with my boss, I presented my solution matter of factly, and he accepted it readily and without hesitation or argument! Hooray for me today! I feel good (finally!). Sooo much anxiety over just this one issue, and I conquered it. Phew!
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Anonymous48672, unaluna
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LilyMop
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#16
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That’s great news! |
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Have Hope
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#17
YES! Thank you, @LilyMop!!!
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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unaluna
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Wise Elder
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#18
On Friday the CEO’s son, who works at our company, asked me to do something that goes against my morals and ethics. I am not going to LIE to a client, which is what they’re asking me to do.
I took over this account 2 months ago. For the last year, a colleague who left the company was running it. My client was just bought by another company. I've already introduced myself to this client as being "new" to the account. Yet, in an upcoming presentation we will give to the company that aquired my client, my company wants me to pretend and LIE saying I've always been on the account. That is very dangerous. i cannot speak to my former colleague's work, nor will I take personal responsibility for work that was not my own. What if the new client questions that work? I cannot speak to it, nor is it ethical! I also will not lie and pretend I've been involved with the account longer than I have been, which is what they asked of me. I said I don’t feel comfortable with speaking to my former colleague's work. That was my initial reply. I know it’s in an effort to keep the client but there are alternative means, such as relying on our actual expertise! I HATE my freaking company with a full-on passion now. I am in fact seeing blood red over this issue. I am MOST upset. They've put me into a very awkward position, and I have to stand up to them to say I won't lie. Which I will do. Hopefully I won't get freaking fired, but I refuse to lie and I refuse to take responsibility for someone else's work. What immoral leadership we have. I am thoroughly disgusted. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 19, 2020 at 05:23 PM.. |
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Threadtastic Postaholic
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#19
What did the son say when you said "no"?
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
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#20
I think he just looked at me and said Ok. I have to talk to him again.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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