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Have Hope
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Default Jan 11, 2020 at 10:36 AM
  #1
I opened up to a few work colleagues last night after a few drinks. We had a social gathering at a bar to say goodbye to a work colleague who's leaving.

Well, I spilled the beans to a few people about what's REALLY going on behind the scenes for me, including the issues I face with my boss and about talking to the CEO about a leadership role. I went on and on, when I should have kept my mouth shut!

Now I am kicking myself for it, I am very anxious it will backfire on me, and I am SO angry at myself for getting loose after a few drinks!

GRRR GRRRR GRRRR.

I know why i did it... I am all alone at work with my struggles, I lost my single confidante at work who left the company two months ago, AND I have no therapist right now.

I just feel like the biggest A-hole and worry that I've alienated my colleagues. I think the writing's on the wall: I should just leave the company.

My usual f-up self is f-ing up again.

Please be gentle with me, if you do respond to this... I'm looking for supportive replies only, not constructive criticism. I'm already aware that I made a huge mistake and that I probably should not have said a single word. I am already very upset with myself for this.

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Default Jan 11, 2020 at 10:50 AM
  #2
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Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
I opened up to a few work colleagues last night after a few drinks. We had a social gathering at a bar to say goodbye to a work colleague who's leaving.

Well, I spilled the beans to a few people about what's REALLY going on behind the scenes for me, including the issues I face with my boss and about talking to the CEO about a leadership role. I went on and on, when I should have kept my mouth shut!

Now I am kicking myself for it, I am very anxious it will backfire on me, and I am SO angry at myself for getting loose after a few drinks!

GRRR GRRRR GRRRR.

I know why i did it... I am all alone at work with my struggles, I lost my single confidante at work who left the company two months ago, AND I have no therapist right now.

I just feel like the biggest A-hole and worry that I've alienated my colleagues. I think the writing's on the wall: I should just leave the company.

My usual f-up self is f-ing up again.

Please be gentle with me, if you do respond to this... I'm looking for supportive replies only, not constructive criticism. I'm already aware that I made a huge mistake and that I probably should not have said a single word. I am already very upset with myself for this.
It's probably not as bad as you think it is. And if anyone brings it up, just say, "I was blowing off steam, that's all. I'm excited to get back to work and kick ***." And don't mention it at all. Everyone gripes about work. I'm sure they have gripes too.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Jan 11, 2020 at 11:01 AM
  #3
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It's probably not as bad as you think it is. And if anyone brings it up, just say, "I was blowing off steam, that's all. I'm excited to get back to work and kick ***." And don't mention it at all. Everyone gripes about work. I'm sure they have gripes too.
Thank you, @seesaw. I need to hear this right now. My anxiety is through the roof, and I already have anxiety issues.

I didn't share how arrogant I may have sounded to my colleagues. That's why I fear I've alienated them. What a total jerk I am. My gripes and arrogance got the best of me. But I am so sick and tired of hearing my boss and our manager say things that are just flat out wrong, and of our team being poorly led by leaders who really don't know all of what they're doing. And my team members are so grossly unaware of how poorly led they are. They don't even realize it.

I should just kiss goodbye any thoughts of a promotion. Sometimes I really hate myself.

I greatly appreciate your supportive reply.

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Default Jan 11, 2020 at 01:46 PM
  #4
I can totally relate to blabbing in like circumstances...sometimes I don't need even one drink, it just "happens"---and I am kicking myself even as I hear myself...
((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))) and it probably isn't as bad as you thing as @seesaw noted---& who knows, you may find you confirmed someone else's suspicions...
You will get through this!

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Default Jan 11, 2020 at 05:07 PM
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I can totally relate to blabbing in like circumstances...sometimes I don't need even one drink, it just "happens"---and I am kicking myself even as I hear myself...
((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))) and it probably isn't as bad as you thing as @seesaw noted---& who knows, you may find you confirmed someone else's suspicions...
You will get through this!
Thanks! It helps to know I’m not alone. Doh!

And it helps to think maybe it’s not sooo bad. Thank you.

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Default Jan 12, 2020 at 01:37 PM
  #6
A friend on here suggested that I text the 2 colleagues to apologize and to explain myself a bit.... so I did just that, and I feel sooooo much better!!!! It was the right thing to do. One thing I've learned in life is this: a sincere apology can go a LONG way.....AND taking ownership of a situation that went badly like me having too many drinks and babbling to my work colleagues. So lesson learned! No more drinking with work colleagues, that's out. And I'm gonna be super careful with what I say from now on, but I'm glad I reached out to them.

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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 06:15 AM
  #7
Not only do we all blow off steam at times, drinks make it worse. So if anyone has any comments about it, it may be helpful to say you had a bit much to drink, state you shouldn't have said half of it and don't want to talk about it.

You've learned the lesson here, so if the fallout isn't too bad at least you have that. Could've gone much worse. I usually stop after 1-2 beers, and when I'm driving I have an additional excuse never to drink more than 1. I say things I shouldn't too after a drink too many.
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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 06:44 AM
  #8
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Not only do we all blow off steam at times, drinks make it worse. So if anyone has any comments about it, it may be helpful to say you had a bit much to drink, state you shouldn't have said half of it and don't want to talk about it.

You've learned the lesson here, so if the fallout isn't too bad at least you have that. Could've gone much worse. I usually stop after 1-2 beers, and when I'm driving I have an additional excuse never to drink more than 1. I say things I shouldn't too after a drink too many.
Thank you!

Oh yes, drinks made it worse!!!!

I did apologize and explained myself by text to them, while we were not at work. I said I had too much to drink, that I had been frustrated at work, and that I was just kind of letting it all out.... they both very graciously said "no biggie. I completely understand."

Thankfully, it's all good between us now. They seem to have let it go, and it seems I did not alienate myself.

I now am on a 3-drink max limit. After 3 drinks is when trouble happens for me. And NO drinking with colleagues after work. IF I do, it will be 1 single drink.

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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 08:48 AM
  #9
Good work!!

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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 09:42 AM
  #10
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Good work!!

Thanks!!! PHEW!

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